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MARY AND I 



EUROPE 




Published By 

HENDRICK HUDSON CHAPTER, 

DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, 

HUDSON, N. Y. 

For the Benefit of 
Thr Chapter Building Fund. 



Mary and I Go to Europe. 

AN UNBIASED ACCOUNT 
[E. &^ O. E. ) 

OF 

A LITTLE JOURNEY IN THE WORLD 

DURING THE MONTHS 

OF 

JUNE, JULY AND AUGUST, 
1896. 





T ' 

/ BY 

A. FILLER, Doctor 







Published By 

HENDRICK HUDSON CHAPTER, DAUGHTERS OF THE 

AMERICAN REVOLUTION, 

HUDSON, N. Y., 

For the Benefit of the Chapter Building Fund. 



1683: 

THE LIBRA I^Y 

or congress! 

WASHINGTON li 












H^O COPIES HEC:: 



V \ ^ 



MARY AND I GO TO EUROPE. 



Truth, naked, unblushing truth, the first virtue of more 
serious history, must be the sole recommendation of this per- 
sonal history. — Gibbon, Autobiography. 

Travellers never did lie, though fools at home condemn 
them. — Shakespeare. 



WHY THIS BOOK IS PUBLISHED. 



To Hendrick Hudson Chapter, Daughters of the American 
Revolution, of Hudson, N. Y., the world is indebted for the 
publication of this volume. Later it may blame it. Had it not 
been for this Society, other eyes than those of intimate friends 
would never have read its pages. To aid the laudable causes 
in which the members are engaged, I, Dr. Filler, have consent- 
ed to the printing and sale of the work, the proceeds to be add- 
ed to the funds of the Chapter, and used as may be deemed best 
for furthering its objects. The book, as will easily be seen, 
makes no pretension to literary merit, unless in those portions 
quoted from other writers. Its inaccuracies are due to Mary. 
Much more could have been written concerning what we saw 
and enjoyed, but it would have stopped the sale of other books, 
discouraged rising authors, and checked tours to foreign lands. 
This would have been wrong. The mixture was compounded 
during office hours, as moments could be stolen from a busy 
profession, or on Sundays when I should have been at Church. 
The original volume was struck off on a type-writing machine, 
and when the manuscript was handed to the printer he was 
told to "follow copy." This in part may account for many of 
its shortcomings, its solecisms, and the general mixed up con- 
dition of things. What it lacks, and how much better you 
could have written it, you will know when you have completed 
the reading. A. P. 



TO MARY; 

THE BEST OF WIVES, AS WELL AS THE BEST OF 

COMPANIONS; 

WHETHER OVER LIFE'S STORMY SEA, 

OB 

IN FOREIGN LANDS. 

ALWAYS THE SAFETY-VALVE ON THE BOILER OF 
MY ENTHUSIASM, 

THIS BOOK 

IS 

DEDICATED, 



PREFACE. 



The best books I have read had prefaces. This is no rea- 
son why the present volume should have, but it gives the read- 
er more for his money. It may also aid in dispelling the de- 
lusion some of my friends have in mind, namely, that my wife 
■went with me. I shall speak of my wife often. I call her the 
"sunshine of my life," because she makes it hot for me. She 
is part of the book, really the greater part. So when I use the 
pronoun "I," it means Mary, except when I am in Paris, or pur- 
suing my anatomical or physiological studies. It would not be 
proper for her to be present at those times. 

Mr. Herbert Spencer, in his little book on "Education," 
(Moral, Intellectual and Physical,) says something like this : 
"It is a very false idea that benefit arises from cramming his- 
tory, dates and the like into children's minds. Teach them 
something that will be of practical value in life. Tell them 
where their Liver or Eustachian Tubes are situated. They 
will have more use for the latter knowledge than for the for- 
mer." Acting on this suggestion, I propose to tell in plain 
language, not Shakespearian in its style, what we saw. I shall 
omit all mathematical problems, all histories of war and con- 
quest, all full descriptions of cathedrals, churches and tem- 
ples, except so far as may be unavoidable. These have been 
so often and so much better written up than I can do, who am 
unaccustomed to making books, that the reader will find it to 



his advantage to hunt up any reference I may make to any- 
thing that attracts his interest, if he deems it worth the while 
to follow the subject, and thus obtain a clearer idea of the situ- 
ation than I give. The book is written for the entertainment 
and amusement of our friends. An unvarnished tale, and sim- 
ple account of our personal experiences in the first and only 
vacation during my professional life. Some one has said "Life 
is only worth living for the Summer Vacation." I have found 
this true. If you doubt me, go as I did. 

A. FILLER, Doctor. 
Recovery Hall, 
Hudson, N.Y., 
1808. 



P. S. Misspelling is due to the machine. Errors of gram- 
mar, capitals and punctuation to ignorance. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE. 

PREFACE 7 

CHAPTER I. 

Preparations 13 

CHAPTER H. 

At Sea. 22 

CHAPTER HI. 

At Sea 42 

CHAPTER IV. 

Gibraltar 52 

CHAPTER V. 

Genoa 60 

CHAPTER VI. 

Pisa 70 

CHAPTER VII. 

Rome 82 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Naples 94 

Pompeii 98 

CHAPTER IX. 

Florence 103 

CHAPTER X. 

Venice 108 

Lido 115 

CHAPTER XL 

Milan 118 

CHAPTER XII. 

Lucerne .............. 125 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Munich 135 

CHAPTER XIV. 

Vienna 145 

CHAPTER XV. 

Dresden 155 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Berlin 160 

Potsdam 167 

Sans Souci 168 



CHAPTER XVII. 

Frankfort-on-the-Main 172 

Heidelburg 174 

Mayence 176 

CHAPTER XVIII. 

The Rhine 179 

Cologne 182 

CHAPTER XIX. 

Amsterdam 186 

Haarlem igo 

The Hague 192 

Scheveningen 194 

CHAPTER XX. 

Antwerp jg6 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Brussels 201 

CHAPTER XXII. 

Paris 206 

Versailles 214 

CHAPTER XXIII. 

London 215 

Kew 223 

Hampton Court 223 

Windsor 224 

Eton 224 

CHAPTER XXIV. 

Homeward Bound 227 



Copyright by 

H. LYLE SMITH, M. D., 

Hudson, N. Y. 

October, 

1898. 



MARY AND I GO TO EUROPE. 



CHAPTER I. 

PREPARATIONS. 
"It is the unexpected that happens." 

J)T has always been a mystery to me how I, a 
^ country doctor, ever decided to go to Europe. 
I thought like many others, I could not be spared ; 
that the environment about me and of which I 
thought I was the axis would cease to revolve ; 
that the whole of Creation would stop, and I should 
be missed. I have found out otherwise. No man's 
feet are so large but another's shoes can fill the 
impressions made in the sands of life's shore, and 
often fit better than the originals. 

I had dug along, following my professional 
calling with more or less of success for many 
years ; now and then taking a day off, but never 
a vacation in the true sense of the word. Some- 
times curing a case, now and then making a 
mistake in diagnosis, or treatment, or both, filling 



up witli tears and regrets to the family v/hat I 
felt, and they did not know. I grew tired. The 
everlasting tales of woe became irritations, and 
while now and then the inonotony was broken 
by some one paying a long over-due account, 
while laboring under temporary mental health, 
this unction did not serve as a substitute for a 
something I desired, and knew I needed. Like a 
crisis in a disease the time came. I was taken ill, 
not severely so, just enough to cause me to re- 
linquish office hours, though I still continued to 
visit those of ni}'- patients who had sufficient con- 
fidence in me to refuse being killed by the hands 
of other practitioners. As the first batch of mi- 
crobes left, leaving me under the delusion I was 
convalescing, another swarm came down like an 
after-dinner course to give zest to the whole. 
Then my horse ran away and my son was mar- 
ried. To an ordinary mortal these "visitations," 
or mixtures would have appeared sufficient to 
warrant a rest, a little easement in labor, a little 
folding of the hands. I deserved something, 
anyway. For me, however, they were only rip- 
ples, microscopic splashes on the surface of the 
sea of my life. The cyclone that wrecked my 
bark, was the putting into execution by my wife, 
of a house-cleaning plan. I wish to say my wife 
is no ordinary woman, which fact is borne out by 
another, namely that she married me. I have 
often insisted she was the only one of the two 

14 



who was married, I being- simply a guest at the 
wedding. She cleaned, and had I died during 
the performance, the funeral would have been 
held in the yard, as there would have been no 
room for the corpse in the house. She began 
with one apartment. This, she said, was all she 
"intended to do." But, parenthetically, m.y wife 
is always cleaning. She has no set legal holiday 
for it, extending over a week, or more, like other 
housewives, but appears to do it daily, in fact all 
the time. On this occasion it was done so thor- 
oughly, every thing when she finished was new, 
except the land on which the house stood. I was 
the next older. This insanity settled the business, 
and I made up my mind I should have to go under 
the sod, (for which some of my friends said I was 
not prepared,) leaving her to enjoy my insurance, 
or get away for the purpose of saving my life. 
Now it is no easy thing for a man, especially a 
professional man, to pack up his duds, leave his 
friends and creditors, shut shop, having no clerks 
to sell pills in job lots at reduced prices, after he 
has been moving along in one groove for thirty 
years. A doctor has a feeling of fear that some 
other of his clan may get hold of his best paying 
"chronics" and cure them, thus cutting off a sure 
and constant revenue. I was afraid of this. On 
the contrary such a going would be a valid excuse 
to present bills, in order to find out how much of 
real love patients have for their family physician. 

15 



So the mass of pros and cons were put into the 
mortar of thought, and ground into the powder 
of decision. I wanted to go somewhere, most of 
all to Europe. This I desired for many reasons. 
Nearly all doctors do. It seems to impress a pa- 
tient, or a community, if a medical man has put 
foot into a European hospital he has imbibed some 
potent influence, not obtainable by any course of 
study, or bedside experience in this country, 
which he can exert at will for the benefit of the 
sick. It sounds well to have "been abroad." 
Then, too, so many of my friends, just because 
they knew I probably never could do it, were 
constantly telling me of the delights of an ocean 
voyage, "the perfect rest, nothing like it to bring 
back exhausted vitality, no night calls, no muddy 
roads," and all that sort of thing. I, so they said, 
"needed change." I did. And to "brush up 
against the great minds of my profession." All 
this and much more, partaking of the same char- 
acter, decided me. I thought it better than to 
take a trip in my own country, for did I go to 
either end of it, as soon as I felt rested I would 
be sure to return home, and be back at the old 
job before the desired purpose was accomplished. 
Another reason, I wanted variety. There is a 
great difference between rest and repose. One 
may be merely a change of activities, while the 
other may be a long drawn exertion. Carlyle, in 
his Sartor Resartus, goes into the definition of 

i6 



the words, and to his vv^ork I refer you for a more 
lucid explanation of the subject. Travel within 
my own country meant the same language, the 
same laws. It would have presented the same 
orders of architecture, the same customs of the 
peoples, and though probably I should have been 
"in cog." to the great mass of my brethren, the 
handle of "doctor" might now and then have 
slipped out, and I been called to treat, of course 
gratuitously, some one who would "remit later on 
arrival home." My line of battle being decided, 
I began to look about for my guns. I found I 
could raise some funds, but how I could expend 
them to the best advantage was the question. 
Tourist Agencies were interviewed, consultations 
held with those who had been partakers of the 
joys I anticipated. Great divergence of opinion 
was found, each opinion seeming to depend upon 
the size of a presumptive Letter of Credit. In 
fact, one of my friends, a retired physician to 
whom I went for suggestions, knowing he would 
tell me the entire truth by reason of the brother- 
hood, greeted me with, "how much money have 
you?" After stating the amount I thought I 
could borrow, he replied, "you can do it." The 
first gate to the Garden of Pleasure was opened. 
Complications now began to arise in my home. 
My wife, who heretofore had enjoyed unusual 
health, and who had unselfishly insisted I should 
go alone, by reason of the expenditure entailed, 

17 



began to present symptoms of decline, at least she 
said she felt them. To me, as a physician, there 
were no apparent evidences of physical degener- 
ation. At first I thought the house cleaning had 
been too much for her, but later surmised she 
would miss me, that a sort of "Oikeiomania" was 
setting in. A talk with other married men led 
me to believe this was not an uncommon state 
V\^ith wives, when husbands threatened to go 
abroad alone. I reasoned she was beginning to 
mistrust, or distrust me, and from association 
with her friends had imbibed largely of "why do 
you not go too ?" Her collapse was stayed by 
saying, "My dear, a trip to Europe with you not 
in it, would be a rose without a thorn, or a thorn 
without a rose," (I have forgotten which) "you 
too shall go." The reader will find, before he 
reaches the end of this book, that I went with 
her. Trouble started in at once. As I slowly 
contracted the circle of my practice, my wife ex- 
panded in the direction of her supposed needs. 
From bonnets to shoes, every article that could 
or might be required in a three months' visit was 
priced and samples obtained. Of course, accord- 
ing to her idea, nothing could be bought in 
Europe. At least, my wife endeavored to fix in 
my mind what she believed to be a fact. My 
own wardrobe was simplicity itself, including 
celluloid collars. They, celluloid collars, pay, 
not only in money, but in comfort. If ever you 



g-o, don't forget to take half a dozen. I did not, 
my wife did. I'll tell you how this happened. A 
married daughter living in New York, had been 
presented by an admiring friend with a pair of 
embroidered pillow cases. My wife's economy 
led her to hold the articles in stock until a con- 
venient season when she should go to the city 
taking them with her, thus saving freight, or ex- 
pressage. This was her opportunity. So the 
cases were carefully packed in our single trunk 
to be delivered to the rightful owner on reaching 
the great city. They were eventually. Only this 
happened between. My celluloid collars were 
left at home, while the cases traveled all over 
Europe in their place. I used the cases as a sub- 
stitute for a remembrance of the other side, and 
my daughter still admires the handiwork of 
Parisian needlewomen. I have learned it is a 
wise act to go through your trunk after your wife 
has said she has packed it, especially when going 
abroad. Another thing I would suggest : either 
buy, or invent a trunk that will lock and unlock 
itself, merely by kicking or swearing at it. In 
our journey I opened that small piece of baggage 
of ours over a million of times, perhaps more, but 
I'm safe on a million. If you have put down, or 
mislaid anything, or suppose you have lost it, 
from a hair pin to a relic, your wife will say it is 
in the trunk and order you to look for it. You 
know it is not there, but you'll be fool enough to 

19 



do it, or afraid to disobey. Ninety and nine 
times out of a hundred it will not be in it, as you 
knew. I've had an experience with that trunk 
which, if applied to my profession, would make 
me a professor in a medical college. The next 
time I go, I shall take a hand bag and my 
character, nothing else. 

The day of departure, the eventful day at last 
arrived. Being in length of service, the oldest 
practitioner in my little city, the good-byes, par- 
took somewhat of a public character. The press 
had mentioned our intended going as an item of 
news and interest. The local military company 
turned out, saluted me and wished me bon-voyage 
in true soldierly style. Little gifts came to us 
from loving hearts, torpedoes were placed upon 
the railroad track to boom us on as we left the 
station ; so amid a blaze of glory, mingled with 
kisses from my wife's dearest friends, of which I 
took as large a portion as I could, we rolled away, 
leaving my home, nearly three thousand of the 
inhabitants of which I had ushered into the 

world, and the cemetery, where nearly 

thousands had been helped to a permanent rest- 
ing place through my efforts. As a last act, I 
confided my patients to Nature and quack com- 
pounds, and started for the grand event of my 
existence. 

It is said "the three great events of human life 
are birth, marriage, and death." I have been 

20 



through two of them, but never enjoyed either 
so much as the anticipations before me. I got 
what did not occur in tlie other two. As for tlie 
last, that remains to be seen, or felt. My pastor 
thinks the question an open one as yet. tie and 
I do not agree on certain theological construc- 
tions. He, in my opinion, has too much faith, 
that is now. I hope to convert him to my way of 
looking at facts. 

We arrived in New York two daA^s before the 
expected sailing of the ship. This was done that 
my wife might price more samples and job lots 
of goods, for which she had no earthly need, and 
that I might look around in order to become 
acquainted with "ways that were dark." I was 
not sure but a little experience in this line would 
work in well on the other side. I bought Baede- 
kers, a letter of credit, a corkscrew and a lot of 
other useless things I supposed would come 
handy. I could have purchased more celluloid 
collars had I known the contents of that blank 
trunk. I also took occasion, the day before we 
sailed, to visit the vessel, look her over and form 
my opinion of the captain, to whom I had a letter 
of introduction. A bottle of champagne during 
the voyage, beats all written communications out 
of sight. This I learned from the application of 
both methods of acquaintance. 



21 



CHAPTER II. 

AT SEA. 
"Merrily we sail along o'er the deep blue sea." 

<^^ATURDAY, the day of separation from our na- 
^^ tive land, broke tinadulterate. We could not 
have picked a riper one for the month of May had 
we searched the almanac. It is needless to say we 
awoke early so as to get on board in time. Here 
began the first of misstatements. We read on our 
tickets, "passengers are required to be on board 
one hour before sailing." This is not true. If 
you are on deck at any time before the boat leaves 
quarantine you may go, provided your ticket is 
paid for. 

The usual number of friends came to the pier 
to say farewell, and kiss my wife. Flowers and 
oranges there were for her in abundance. For 
me, telegrams, one of the most interesting of 
which read, "best wishes for a safe voyage ; if 
you get short of funds draw on me." Now that 
had the true spirit, and as this particular one 
came from the president of the largest and so far 
safest bank in my town, it was more than grati- 

22 



fying-. I did not, however, call on him. He 
saved his cake and credit nevertheless, by the 
offer. I shall return the compliment should he 
ever go, that is, so far as the "wishes" are con- 
cerned. As to the second clause, I shall think it 
over. He might want bail. You can never tell 
about these bank officials, they go suddenly, 
sometimes. One of my dearest friends, a lady, 
had the forethought to present me with a diary, 
to which I daily devoted a few moments and kept 
a few notes, except when in Paris. No one has 
time in Paris to keep anything, except his respec- 
tability. I shall, therefore, take the liberty of 
quoting from these original pages the history of 
our outward passage, adding such thoughts and 
morals as come to mind, or promise to be of ser- 
vice to others when in a similar situation. 

Our ship, (every one who goes to sea uses the 
possessive case) the "Werra," Capt. Pohle, one of 
the North German Lloyds great fleet, was bound 
for Genoa, with no stops between, so far as adver- 
tised, except at Gibraltar. She was the best boat 
in which I had ever crossed the Atlantic. In my 
travels I have met many who have sailed by 
other lines, and have yet to find one who does 
not speak in the highest terms of the comfort, 
cuisine and seamanship offered by this company 
to sea-going people. This is not an advertisement 
for the N. G. L's, nor do I expect a rebate when I 
go with them again, as I certainly hope to do. 

22> 



We got away from the pier, at last, by the aid of 
two tugs, much sobbing and. weeping, the band 
playing, colors flying and the usual eclat that ad- 
heres to such an event. I suppose it takes place 
regularly twice a week the year round, but to us 
it was novel, never having been in a like predica- 
ment. Our journey had begun in reality and my 
wife to have her innings. I think it is Emerson 
who says, "in a tour abroad there is three per cent, 
of expectation, two per cent, of realization and five 
per cent, of recollection." In our case, at least, 
this needs modification. We expected less than 
we realized, realized more than we expected, and 
as the spool of recollection and memory unwinds 
the thread of the past, we find those days were a 
glorious prison house, where love was jailor and 
the bars delight. My wife, soon after leaving 
port, went below to her room to "regulate things." 
It was hard to break up an old habit. I remained 
on deck to see what was going on. We had 
aboard, as I found later, the usual types, or class 
of passengers. The man who was making his 
66th voyage, the fellow who wished he had not 
come, the man who never lost a meal, he Vv^ho 
was not hungry, the Kodak fiend, the Captain's 
terror, and the blushing bride, 

I had been aboard but a few hours when I 
thought I knew the ship by heart. I had investi- 
gated every part of it, except the furnace room 
and the crow's nest, where the look-out is sup- 

24 



posed to be stationed, though this I did later. 
Everything was, as a friend of mine who was 
once in the drug business invariably stated, "a 
new novelty," laden with surprises, if not with 
experiences and information. I chanced early in 
the day to stray into the smoke room, a place I 
afterwards found fraught Vv^ith stories, good times 
and naps. I shall speak of it again. Here I 
encountered a jolly crowd tasting, or testing the 
dark product of Munich. As I knew I should be 
brought later face to face with the same, I 
deemed it wise to make an experiment under the 
noses of those I judged were more learned in the 
matter than I. I am a temperance man at home, 
but ¥7hen traveling, I fear change of water and 
do as others do. I do not like to insult a country 
by declining its chief food products. I or- 
dered a glass of the beverage, at the same time 
handing the waiter my last American half dol- 
lar. He was gone some time, so long, I began to 
think he had run off with my funds, 3^et felt satis- 
fied he could go no further than I, so would "see 
him later." He returned, and I thought I under- 
stood the cause of the delay. It was not the size 
of the glass, but the amount of change. At first 
I thought he had brought up part of the cargo ; 
then that he had mistaken my half for a gold 
fifty. At any rate, I drank my bier in haste, lest 
he should discover his mistake, and went below 
to find Mary (that is my wife's name.) She was 

25 



in the stateroom "regulating." I proceeded to 
tell her of my stroke in finance and suggested if 
she had no objections I'd stick to bier, as it would 
save using our letter of credit and enable me to re- 
tire from practice on my return. She asked to see 
what had been given me as change, and as there 
v/ere no bargain counters, or auctions on board, I 
felt it safe to trust her with the funds. Mary has 
a mathematical mind, and after a few moments- 
spent in looking over the ballast, quietly said, 

"You old (she used a monosyllable) the 

change is correct and you have paid twice as 
much for the bier as you do at home." I changed 
the subject, but got even with the steward by 
spending all the freight he had given me on the 
same lines as produced it. Before I left, Mary 
informed me she had discovered a place for swear- 
ing. She knew it was for that purpose, as it was 
labeled "Fur Damen." She also said if I felt 
aggrieved at the bar-tender, it would be a good 
plan to go into it and settle the matter with him 
then and there. Mary was not as proficient in 
the German language as she was later. 

My diary says : 

May 23, Saturday. — "I wish it were possible to 
frame into words or speech the emotions I feel. 
That I were a painter for the sake of the sweet 
picture. I seem to have lost hold of everything. 
Where am I, I asked myself this morning as we 
sailed away, the old "Ego" is no longer present. 

26 



To think, for me, there are to be days and weeks 
of rest, pleasure and freedom. That I may sit 
down and dictate, command and not be command- 
ed. What a delicious dream it is. To think I may 
sleep ; lay myself down in the belief I shall rest 
undisturbed till morning breaks, which I have not 
done in more than thirty years. Did sweeter 
flowers ever bloom, were music's strains evermore 
harmonious than this thought ? Strange are my 
feelings. I walk about the deck, as it were in the 
third person, wondering by what enchantment 
I havebeen disembodied. I am not myself. My 
wife is at my side, and vv^e seem to be looking 
backward, down the avenue of the past and feel 
as if the days of youth have come again. We are 
like children let loose from school, thinking only 
of the pleasures held in store in the hours beyond. 

.... As the land recedes further and further 
from our sight, the air grows cold. We don our 
wraps and thicker clothing. Luncheon has been 
served and dinner eaten. No qualms of Mai de 
Mer. The vessel rolls not unpleasantly, a sort of 
rocking, as if the sea wished to add to our enjoy, 
ment. 

My studies in the prevention of sea-sickness, 
which I pursued with more zest than I did some 
other types of ailments, seeing my wife and I 
were to be the patients, had brought forth no satis- 
factor}^ results. Numerous remedies, I found 
were suggested by those who had had an actual 

27 



experience, and many more, by those teachers 
who wrote on the subject, reasoning fromi a theory. 
I decided to let the whole thing alone, trusting to 
luck, and if anything turned up to go at it on the 
"expecta,nt" plan, that is, to treat ourselves as 
symptoms and circumstances arose. I think I did 
wisely. My advice would be, to those contem- 
plating a voyage, don't bother about "preven- 
tives." Eat moderately for a few days before 
going abroad, especially on the day of sailing, 
and, if possible, skip a meal or two on the aus- 
picious date. The temptations of the lunch and 
dinner tables the first day out are, as a rule, too 
much for the average man or woman to withstand, 
and indulgence pays tribute to Neptune the fol- 
lowing mxorning, if not before. Another thing, 
go on board well dressed. Do not think any old 
rag is good enough for the ship. You will be 
brought into contact with cultivated people, ladies 
and gentlemen, and the impression you make at 
first, lasts through the entire voyage. In a day 
or two you may put on a less fashionable or more 
worn out costume, and lay the Sunday apparel 
away till you step on shore again. If you are sea- 
sick, you won't care about dress. You'll sigh for 
wings, and harps and crowns. I have heard it 
said of a Frenchman, that at first he was afraid 
he would die, and later he feared he could not. 
I've seen those I thought were in this second 
stage. 

28 



The people one meets aboard ship are of all 
kinds and shapes. We had them. The Priest 
going to Rome for a little more Apostolic succes- 
sion. The Rabbi who was pointed toward Pales- 
tine to find out the cause for the Talmud. The 
pretty girl (chaperoned by a near relative) who 
flirted with all the officers, making their life mis- 
erable, apparently, by climbing onto the bridge 
and asking "what kind of weather shall we have 
to-morrow ?" The man of business, the bevy of 
young (?) ladies, going in a "conducted" party, 
eight-tenths of whom were maidens, one-tenth 
married, and the balance eligible. 

Among such a crowd as this, it was not reason- 
able to expect I should pass myself off as a mar- 
ried man. So as intimacies grew thicker and 
more numerous, I introduced my better half as 
my mother, leading the unsophisticated to believe 
that she (my wife) was a widow, and I her only 
son. This gave me a freedom unattainable by 
other means. To be sure, my beard was sprinkled 
with grey, a hair or two here and there, (I shaved 
it off when I reached Paris,) but this represented 
experience, not age, at least in my case. 

To some the hours drag wearily on board ship, 
and they wish they were ashore. This is "because 
they have no resources within themselves," as my 
wife says. I find she is correct when they are 
sea-sick. The ''resources" are all overboard. 
Most of the daylight and a large part of the night 

29 



is spent in eating. You have coffee and rolls in 
your stateroom before you are up, then breakfast. 
A little later, more refreshments. Before lunch- 
eon something to eat, then you lunch. In the 
afternoon beef, chicken, or clam broth, with 
sandwiches and other truck. Then dinner. This 
is the "She Dove" of the day. You come to the 
table, that is, if you are able, arrayed in the best 
you have, and begin with soup and end with 
toothpicks. A real table d'hote well cooked, 
well served, a menu card at your hand, a waiter 
at your back, and an orchestra at the foot of the 
companion way. What do you want more ? You 
eat about two hours and then go into the smoke- 
room to get something to satisfy your hunger. 
Here you indulge in sandwiches and a bottle of 
something, or a glass of cordial. During all this 
performance of the day, you are supposed to pat- 
ronize the waiter in the smoke-room, and become 
acquainted with the liquid supplies of the ship. 
A man, if he is any kind of a stevedore, can un- 
load about twenty schooners between sunrise and 
bedtime. After my first experience I bought a 
bier-card, a little machine filled with num^bers, one 
of which the waiter punches out every time you 
order a prophylactic, I found it less awkward 
than waiting for change, and I got my medicine 
sooner. To be sure, it uses itself up rapidly, but 
what are you on a vacation for ? If you go with 
the idea you can save money, it would be better 

30 



for you to remain at home. When one is not 
eating, or punching out holes in the bier-card, 
"Shovel Board" may be played. There is nothing 
like this game on earth. The nearest resem- 
blance is Croquet, and that has no similarity 
whatever to it. One of the crew chalks out on 
the deck a program, something like this : 



8 I 


6 


3 


5 


7 


4 9 


2 



with numbers in each space. In this instance I 
may have them properly placed, probably not. I 
don't think it makes a great deal of difference 
how they are lodged, so long as they are all in the 
scheme. The imbeciles who attempt to play at 
it, stand off fifteen or twenty feet, and with a 
long stick, like a billiard mace, broad at the dis- 
tal end and covered with leather, so as not to 
scratch the deck, strive to shove a wooden disk, 
eight inches in diameter by an inch thick onto 
one of the numbered spots in the figure. Sides 
are arranged, and the partners who get the 
greatest number of tricks in a certain number of 
shoves win the pot. I did not play it often. 

31 



Mother did not care to have me exert myself, as I 
was out for a rest. Then the other side always 
had all the prettiest girls, and it used up my card 
too rapidly. You are obliged to cool off so often, 
you know, and your partners cool with you. I 
think I came out ahead of the game only once 
during the voyage of twelve days. I did not play 
it coming home. 

Then there are rings made of rope, which you 
insanely attempt to pitch over the end of a stick. 
This delights some more than others. It made 
one youngster happy, v/lio was aboard in care of 
a nurse. I never saw the mother as I remember. 
The kid tried to pitch the hempen circles ashore 
by throwing them into the sea. He did me a kind- 
ness v/ithout knowing it. Some read, or strive to 
make you believe they are reading. When we 
started, we intended to do the same in regard to 
all the places we expected to visit. We didn't 
do it, at least I did not. My wife made several 
trials at it, but was interrupted so often by meal- 
time she gave it up in the end. I was too busy 
eating and fooling with that bier-card to waste 
time on literature. The deck is a great place to 
snooze. Hand your card to the waiter, take with- 
out question what he brings you, (you are safe,) 
wrap yourself up in your rug, lie down in your 
chair just out of the sun's rays, shut your eyes, 
forget your creditors and go to sleep. When you 
wake up, it will be time to eat, or to send down 

32 



your card. Under this treatment mother lost 
twelve, and I gained twenty pounds of solid adi- 
pose before we reached Gibraltar. This speaks 
well for the ozone in the air, and the absence of 
microbes in the bier. Mother says "microbes 
know better than to get into bier." She is preju- 
diced, and sticks to Rhine wine and champagne. 
There are microbes in the last mentioned article 
I know, for I have felt them in my head the next 
morning. 

So the day is vv^hiled away. You keep count of 
the bells and wonder what is the trouble with 
your watch. As you are not always sure whether 
it is eight o'clock in the morning, or four in the 
afternoon, you decide to have it cleaned at the 
first opportunity. Or you listen to the bugle-boy 
making alleged music. They never call you to 
meals aboard a steamship, or ring a bell, they 
blow you there. Now and then the instrument 
slips a cog, but if you have no ear for music, or do 
not know the tune, you will think it is all right. 
The bugle-boy always begins what he regards as 
a concert, half an hour before the meal is served. 
This is to allow you to dress, or work your card. 

Now and then the outline of a vessel is sighted, 
far off on the border of where sky and water 
meet. Everyone wastes time in trying to read 
her name, or guess the line to which she belongs. 
It is usually a failure. They try to measure the 
length of the smoke seen issuing from the stacks. 

33 



This meets with the same success. Flying fish 
and Mother Gary's chickens add to the interesting 
data of the day. Porpoises skip and jump about 
the ship, making the mind wonder what sort of 
apparatus they have inside that enables them 
to keep pace with the boat. A whale is seen 
spouting two or three ship's lengths ahead, or at 
the side, and everybody rushes to the rail to catch 
a glimpse. They are scarce on land. At night, 
the phosphorescence attracts the attention. After 
reading "The Ancient Mariner," I was somewhat 
disappointed in the display. Some look at the 
moon and romance to the pretty girl at their side, 
that is, if the party of the first part happens to be 
unmarried, as I was for the time. 

A niirht at sea, with the moon shining at its 
full, the firmament sparkling with its myriads of 
stars, beats all the living pictures I have ever 
seen. One falls into a meditative mood. You 
look out into this great universe, of which the 
earth is so small a speck that, as some astronomer 
says, "were the strongest telescope known planted 
upon one of the nearest planets, and the whole 
expanse of the heavens searched, this earth of 
ours might easily escape notice, so small it is." 
Then as you give reins to thought, contemplating 
the greatness of it all, then coming back to earth, 
great even in its comparative smallness, then to 
the mighty ocean on which you are sailing, then 
to the ship, a dot in the immensity of waters, last 

34 



to yourself, an atom in the huge vessel, you ask 
yourself, "what am I ?" How small, indeed, you 
are, and yet you kick up a row if anything goes 
wrong. Do this gazing and meditating for a 
week, and you'll think less of yourself and more 
of the world at large. You'll begin to realize 
that you were made for this earth, rather than the 
world for you. I know no better treatment to 
take the conceit out of a man who thinks mun- 
dane affairs unable to get along without him. It 
took it out of me. 

Often before the hour of retiring, the captain 
of the ship on our outward voyage converted the 
upper decks into a ball-room, by festooning the 
sides with flags of all nations, electric lights and 
other adornments. Those older than ourselves 
gave an exhibition of what the "two-step" should 
be. In this way the days rolled by, days all too 
short. We imagined when we started, two weeks 
at sea would be a long time. We were surprised 
the hours passed so quickly. We even found we 
had left quite a number of things undone when 
we got ashore, but trusted the Deck Steward 
would look after the remains. By the by, this 
fellow is the hardest worked man on the ship ex- 
cept the passenger who is sea-sick. His duties 
involve everything but steering and shoveling 
coal. They would put him at these on a pinch. 
It shall be my habit to give him five dollars 
every time I go over. This trip I thought four 

35 



marks sufficient. What does he do ? Ask what 
he is called upon not to do. Do you wish a chair, 
do you wish it changed to another spot, do you 
wish to buy, sell, find anything, he is the man to 
do it. Nothing is out of his province and he 
does it all willingly, asking no other favor at 
your hands, than love, sweet looks, and a mark. 

When we went aboard at New York we did not 
know one of the most important first steps was to 
secure seats at the table. The one falling to your 
lot you hold during the passage. We had been 
told all about it, but there was so much to remem- 
ber, a little thing like this was easily forgotten. 
It is the 2d Steward's business to attend to it and 
we let him. Whether the handle to my name, 
as it appeared on the passenger list, or the win- 
ning ways of my wife, caught without her knowl- 
edge, had any telepathic influence, I know not, 
anyhow we were placed at the table of the ship's 
surgeon, my wife in the seat of honor at his right. 
The captain held audience at the other end of the 
bar, vis-a-vis to the doctor. I have always been 
glad he forgot that letter of introduction, else we 
might have been seated at his end, and been pre- 
vented from running that portion of the craft at 
which we were ; in fact we ran the entire room 
after a few days. Sitting opposite, so as to face 
us, were two gentlemen returning to Bremen via 
Genoa, after a long business residence in Samoa. 
A short acquaintance with the younger convinced 

36 



my wife he was a lunatic, and she has held this 
opinion ever since. My diagnosis was "mere 
boyishness." The shackles of constraint had been 
thrown off and he was in for a good time and he 
had it. We helped him. At each meal we made 
new acquaintances, my wife giving her attention 
to those at the opposite side of our table, while I 
bestowed my favors on the ladies at m^y left. 

At the first meal, luncheon, I discovered near 
my plate a bottle of Claret wine. My wife has 
always insisted it was not near. I accepted the 
situation and what was apparently an invitation, 
supposing it a gift from the captain, as he had my 
letter of introduction, or was one of the customs 
of the ship. In spite of my wife's "don't do it, 
you had better be careful, it may not be intended 
for you," I took the chances. I am a veteran of 
the late war and married, so by reason of past 
experiences could afford to run some risks. I 
drank it. Later I found I had robbed the doctor. 
He did not happen to be at this repast, probably 
being detained in his ofhce, or in the steerage, 
where countless Italian immigrants were stowed, 
or was out in the country making calls. I squared 
the account with him in a day or two by putting 
up the wine, and I rather think he would enjoy 
being waylaid again. It was like a lover's quarrel, 
so nice to make up. After a few sit-downs with 
us at meals, he was never absent. I sometimes 
thought he neglected his patients to be with us. 

37 



Our end of the boat kept up with, the procession, 
and left enough fun behind to run the Damfer 
back to New York. In eating, I am not fond of 
too much style, I rather favor a free and easy 
method. 

The berths on a first-class steamship are ar- 
ranged for economy, not on the score of comfort, 
or for real use. It is all very well to live in a two- 
story flat, but I object to going under the roof to 
sleep at night. Our room was one of the best on 
the plan, chosen for us by our son-in-law, who had 
sailed all over the world and knew a good room 
when he saw it. It was well forv/ard on the port 
side and furnished with electric lights, hot and 
cold water, bells, a lounge and a window looking 
out to the other end of the world. As compared 
to the size of my wife it was small, so I always 
allowed her to retire first. This gave me more 
time in the smoke-room to eat, and more latitude 
and longitude when I came to disrobe. As she 
was usually first in bed, she always took the lower 
shelf, compelling me to mount by ladder to the 
realms above. When the storm set in, as it did 
the second day out, I threw away the steps, and 
climbed in on a sort of go as you please plan. It 
was easier, and I got to bed sooner. These roosts 
are anything but certain. You are up, or out, 
sometimes before you are called, though the rule 
is, not to move till the bugle-boy toots his horn in 
the morning about six bells. A bath, followed by 

38 



a good breakfast, starts the day in proper shape. 
Sunday at sea passes like any other day. The 
same every thing happens. On some lines they 
hold a religious service in the morning for those 
who have no future prospects, and take up a col- 
lection. We held none going out, as we were 
too busy looking for next week. One congrega- 
tion of the passengers I admire. That is the 
concert given for the benefit of the widows and 
orphans of sailors. While we held no concert, 
here and there about the lower deck were boxes 
marked as receptacles for funds for this laudable 
object, I never saw one entirely empty, and he 
is a mighty mean fellow who will not drop a 
nickel into the slot for this worthy charity. As 
to price, these concerts are highly artistic. For 
the performance no charge is made, it is the pro- 
gram you pay for. The Chief Steward is, as a 
rule, the whole show, and as his songs and jokes 
are always new to those who have not heard 
them, he is at times entertaining. Now and then 
a "Star" happens to be on board, and after much 
solicitation he, or she "consents" to do an act, or 
favor the crowd with a "selection." They get 
their names conspicuously printed on the program 
and free through this act of self-denial. 

We were never sick in the least degree. Many 
times and oft we counseled over the matter, think- 
ing it was the proper thing to do, and that the 
hour had arrived. Only the crew, and ourselves, 

39 



kept well. This looked unfashionable and below 
the average culture of our fellows. Even in the 
days of the storm we held our own in every sense. 
The English channel did not disturb us, so we 
think we have had our baptism, and that it took. 
Before we reached Genoa, I went dov/n into the 
engine and furnace rooms, the great lungs and 
heart of the vessel. What a wonderful place it 
was, and hot. The engineer told me some im- 
mense tales about the amount of coal consumed 
on a voyage, the waste of water, and the cost of 
his department, all of which I am inclined to be- 
lieve. I cannot contradict him, as I know nothing 
about running a steamship, I cannot even run my 
own family. When we reached Genoa, the vessel 
stood five feet more out of water than when we 
left the home port. This in a ship of over six 
thousand tons showed how large a part of the load 
had been consumed in pushing us over. Perhaps 
some of the buoyancy was due to the consump- 
tion of bier cards. The stokers look like hardy 
fellows, yet I understand are short-lived. How 
they manage to stand the intense exertion and 
heat of the fires is a mystery to me. There is no 
loafing among them while on duty. They attend 
strictly to business and shovel I know not how 
many tons of coal into those white hot throats 
during the four hours each gang is at its trick. 
The rapid changes of temperature to which they 
are subjected must show their effects in some de- 

40 



bility of important organs. It is a hard life at 
best, but I presume they enjoy it, or would take 
to the practice of medicine. 

My diary ends on the first day as follows : — 
". . . . Quite tired to-night, both retire at lo p. m." 



41 



CHAPTER III. 

"Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May." 

My diary continues as follows : 

May 24tli, Sunday morning.— ''■ .... Saturday 
ended like a dream. We retired in the hope of 
an enjoyable to-morrow. About two A. M. we 
were awakened by the sound of the fog-horn, 
which continued its unearthly noise for an hour. 
We fell asleep after a while, in spite of a peculiar 
motion in our beds. On arising in the morning 
we found a heavy sea, the wind dead ahead and 
the ship pitching terribly. Breakfast showed a 
diminution in the number of guests at table from 
the evening before. We are in the Gulf-stream. 
The decks are wet and slippery from the spray. 
The bugle-boy opened the day with "Nearer my 
God to Thee," and many thought it was so. The 
vessel rolls so much that it is impossible to keep 
on the lines while writing in my book. We re- 
main well, take in all the meals and all that is 
printed on the menu card. Every circumstance 
is trying. We brace up to it however and shall 
try to get through the day." .... 

42 



I noticed while on deck the evening previous to 
the date of the above, the moon presented a rather 
singular appearance. It was surrounded by a 
most gorgeous ring and seemed out for a lark, in 
a word it looked "full." I did not then appreciate 
the entire meaning of this astronomical objective 
symptom. Experience has led me to keep my 
eye on "Luna" when I am at sea, and I think I 
can now foretell a gale with as much certainty as 
the Meteorological Bureau. I sometimes call my 
wife "Luna." I also learned something about the 
barometer. Our machine hung over the stair- way 
to the main saloon. It was an innocent looking 
affair, but attracted more interest and made more 
trouble than anything on board, for a day or two 
at least. It was so cased in, it was impossible for 
any of us to get at the machinery. Had we been 
able, we would have had fair weather the entire 
trip. It was a good deal like the thermometer of 
the old lady, who said, "it would be hotter if the 
thermometer were longer." 

We took our bearings, (that is the ship's.) to-day 
at noon. This is done on the "Bridge" by the 
captain and some other fellows. We found we 
were at sea and had run 330 nautical miles since 
twelve o'clock yesterday. A chart, hanging in the 
companion-way, marks the course we are sup- 
posed to be following, and after each daily obser- 
vation a little flag is stuck in at the proper point 
to show those interested how far the boat has 

43 



sailed, and where things are at. It is a frequent 
diversion in the smoke-room to wager on the num- 
ber of knots rolled off by the ship daily. I have 
known men to win sufficient to pay for their bier- 
cards, staterooms and all other necessary expenses. 
Then I have encountered those who, by their 
faces, I judged, v^^ished they had not bet. I never 
indulge in games of chance, as I have found my 
practice in its results something of the same sort, 
uncertain. 

May 25th, Monday. — "The sea still heavy, rain- 
ing. We pitch and roll more than yesterday, but 
keep well. We think we should be ill, as it seems 
the proper thing to do. The captain, Mary and 
myself only at the breakfast table. It is a bad 
day. The picture over the desk in my office, (it 
is one of a steamship on a placid sea) is a snare 
and a delusion to tempt innocent people out 
onto this terrible deep. .... The captain says 
he never met such a wind on this route at this 
season. We agree. The frames were put on 
the table to-day." These "frames" are little 
fences fastened about the space allotted you at 
table, to prevent the cups, plates and other hard- 
ware from getting into your neighbor's yard, or 
into your lap. They do not always fulfill their 
mission, as the foundations of the house, in time 
of storm, have a tendency to change places with 
the roof. If you don't slop over yourself, your 
viands are apt to. 

44 



May 26th, Tuesday. — "Wind has shifted to our 
quarter .... we roll and roll. Everthing has 
broken loose in our room, and I am black and 
blue from the bumps and bruises I get walking 
about. Why did I leave home ? I want no better 

evidence that a man is a d fool than to know 

he has crossed the Atlantic .... During the night 
the water broke through the glass covering of the 
engine-room, flooding it. It also carried away 
some stanchions and deck-chairs. In the words of 
Mary's imperfect Italian, we had a 'helophatyme'." 

During this little playspell of the Atlantic, 
many amusing incidents occurred. This morn- 
ing I was sitting on the edge of my bunk, Mary 
directly opposite on the lounge attending to some 
arrangement of her apparel, when a more than 
usually large wave, just as if the sea were trying 
to show us what it could do, struck the side of the 
ship. With an intensity and vim Mary had not 
shown toward me for years, she rushed into my 
arms, knocking me into the back of the berth. I 
thought I had gone through the side of the ship. 
Then, with the next roll of the vessel, having done 
all the damage possible, she was thrown back to 
the lounge, where she found herself seated as be- 
fore the performance. It was a most ridiculous 
affair. This same day I injured my arm so as to 
cause me much annoyance during our entire trip. 
In fact it did not recover its natural condition 
until some months after my return home. I found 

45 



out what the sea could do. By some mistake of 
my wife .... (she always laid the blame on me ; 
perhaps she is correct,) the port-hole of our room 
was left insecurely fastened. The result was, 
while at breakfast the sea burst it open and 
flooded the apartment. It ruined my wife's 
traveling dress, made the room steward swear, 
and spoiled my hat. I straightened out matters 
in Paris, by buying one of those millinery crea- 
tions called a woman's bonnet. 

The only advantage I can see in a storm on the 
ocean, one that makes the boat roll in good style, 
is, that a fellow may get full, lose all power of 
muscular co-ordination and then lay his inability 
to walk to the motion. Your best friend would 
not know you were off. It affects the language 
as well as the legs. Another thing : I never be- 
fore appreciated the power and the weight of water. 
As we lay in our berths we heard the immense 
waves fall upon the deck above us, as though 
a thousand trip-hammers were striking in unison. 
Then we felt ourselves go down, down, down, 
under the enormous load, as if we were being 
pushed to the bottom. Then the struggle for life 
seemed to begin, the ship endeavoring to reach 
the surface for one more gasp of air, slowly up, 
up it came. You hear the water swash and fall 
from off the decks and you breathe again. So on 
and on it keeps, till it grows monotonous. Mary 
paid no attention to it. She slept. 

46 



May 27th, Wednesday. — "A very quiet night 
(comparatively.) Wind and sea gone down. I 
have my idea of the man who wrote, 'A life on the 
ocean wave.' .... Band played on deck for the 
first since leaving port." 

May 28th, Thursday — " .... a beautiful morn- 
ing. Some wind, the ship continues to roll : all 
sails set to steady her .... more people at break- 
fast .... hope to see the Azores to-morrow and 
reach Genoa a week from to-day " 

The real fun began at this date. 

May 29th, Friday. — "More sea on ; windy, but 
warm. Have not as yet experienced that 'smooth 
as glass and mill-pond' state of things. The 
bugle-boy awakened us with 'Life let us cherish', 
and we begin to do so .... About 7 o'clock, a. m., 
caught sight of the Azore islands and at 10:30 
A. M., passed between the first two Las Flores, the 
larger, on the starboard, and El Cabo on the port 
side. They appear fertile and several small col- 
lections of houses presenting the appearance of 
villages may be seen at the base of the high cliffs. 
The remainder of the group was passed by during 
the night." 

The dinner to-day was an "event." In some 
mysterious way the doctor, and the gentlemen at 
our end of the table, thought a birthday for my 
wife was due. Through a still more mysterious 
influence, the birthday got hold of the wrong per- 
son. Anyhow, the presents, illuminations and 

47 



friendly greetings were taken in by "the only 
son." Unknown to my wife or to me, the doctor, 
the "Lunatic" and the other rascals had inter- 
viewed the cook, and by gifts, promises, threats, 
or all combined, had enlisted him in the scheme 
they proposed to work out. Near the middle of 
the repast, the electric lights were turned out, and 
the head waiter, followed by a train of his satel- 
lites, marched slowly down the aisle, bearing in 
his hands a large cake on which sixteen colored 
candles were burning. The cake was a monu- 
ment to the confectioner's art. Upon the frosting 
were the words formed from sugar, "sweet six- 
teen," "many happy returns." Small American 
and German flags and ensigns garnished it, woven 
in among silver leaves and golden flowers. Alto- 
gether it was a thing of beauty .... outside. 
Then, there was placed at my hand a large basket 
of flowers made from turnips, potatoes, and other 
vegetables, also a bouquet of the same materials. 
When the gifts had been located, the electric 
lights were turned on, the orchestra played, and I 
ordered the wine. Congratulations were indulged 
in, the captain not being forgotten in the 
bumpers. There was no question as to the odor 
of the flowers. Nothing remained but to eat the 
cake. Naturally mother was requested to cut it. 
There was a good deal of hesitation on her part 
as she was not sure what the "Lunatic," and the 
rest of the asylum had in store for her. How- 

48 



ever, as courage is one of her virtues, she dared 
the lion and brought from the interior a somewhat 
heterogeneous mixture of excelsior, old rope and 
shavings. Of course the play of words, the toasts 
and the general good feeling added what I am 
unable to describe. Every one in the cabin 
wished he were at our end of the table. 

I was a good deal surprised at the Azores. Not 
only at them, but at all the islands seen. Whether 
I did not know, or had forgotten, their general 
character startled me. I remember reading in 
my Geography that an island was "a parcel of land 
surrounded by water." This still holds good in 
one sense, but it does not tell the entire truth. 
What astonished me was, they stuck so far out of 
water. All the islands I had ever seen were flat, 
here and there a hill, but these oceanic periods 
were higher than they were broad. I knew vol- 
canic action had much to do with their formation, 
yet had no idea they held such high and lofty 
aspirations. You learn much by getting away 
from home. 

May 30th, Saturday. — " .... This being Deco- 
ration Day in the States, celebration was in 
order .... The tables were ornamented in great 
shape, and each lady presented with a number of 
American, German and Bremen flags. The or- 
chestra played national melodies. At night a 
grand ball on the promenade deck, dancing being 
kept up till six bells (11 o'clock)." 

49 



May 31st, Stiuday. — ". . . . The band playing in 
the saloon awoke us .... The barometer has fall- 
en. That is, the hand has moved back. The box 
is in the same old spot .... a beautiful day " 

After dinner those who did not know how to 
read gathered aft, and sang sacred songs, those 
who did, congregated in the library, or lady's 
cabin on the upper deck. There were many good 
voices, and at times it was the least disagreeable 
of the many noises about. This was kept up till 
the mental hymn books were exhausted, when 
most of the artists went to bed. A few congenial 
spirits met in the smoke-room and proceeded to 
have opera. One of the gentlemen possessed a 
most charming voice which had been cultivated 
under some of the best teachers of Italy. I was 
born a baritone, at least I think I was, but on this 
occasion I took the bass. We had about two 
hours at it, with fair prospects of a longer season, 
when the whole trip was broken up by my wife 
sending the room steward to see if I were aboard. 
I sent back word I was, and intended to stick by 
the ship till we had had the worth of our tickets. 
This did not satisfy her. Two additional trips were 
made by her lackey. In order that I might have 
peace the next day, I broke up the combination and 
went below. It was a severe shock and disap- 
pointment to me, for it was the only real opportu- 
nity I have ever had of letting a real artist hear 
the quality of my voice, that is in the line of opera. 

50 



June ist, Monday. — "The most lovely day of 
all. At 12 M. passed by Cape St. Vincent, the 
western point of Portugal . . . . , with its forts and 
signal stations .... We are now constantly meet- 
ing ships and steamers coming from southern 
ports .... To-morrow, Gibraltar . . . . " 

As there w^as a chance of meeting mail facilities 
at the Rock, I spent several hours of the day writ- 
ing letters home. To the children, to "the only 
woman I ever loved," and others. It seemed 
strange to stick a stamp on the envelope that did 
not bear the image of George Washington. 
Nevertheless it evidently had a right of way, for 
all my epistles reached their destination. 

Before sailing I purchased a fountain pen 
under the delusion that the thing would do as the 
advertisement said. It did more. It squirted the 
ink over my fingers, onto the paper and ruined 
the carpet. The thing it would not do, was write. 
After reasonable attempts to get my invested 
value out of it, I took up with the belaying pins 
furnished by the company. When I arrived in 
London, I gave the alleged pen to a dear friend, 
telling him how useful it was, and that he would 
be astonished at its performance. I have no doubt 
he was. I also told him not to be in a hurry to 
thank me, or to write with it till I got out of Eng- 
land, as then it would call me to his mind. I've 
not heard from him since. 



51 



CHAPTER IV. 

GIBRALTAR. 
"Praise the sea, but keep on land 



'Jl 



.. *HE ship dropped anchor in the harbor before 
lu Gibraltar last night at 12 p. m. Mary and I 
were on deck to see the act. The atmosphere 
was hazy, so as to dim the outline of the structure, 
but we recognized it as a big thing. Lights were 
all about the shore and we could hear the sentry 
call "all's well." Early in the morning (6:30,) 
when I went above, I found the ship surrounded 
by bumboats, and the deck taken possession of by 
vendors, who sold merchandise of the poorest 
quality at the most exorbitant prices. As the 
ship's larder needed additions, ample time was 
given for a trip to shore. Of this I availed my- 
self. My wife decided not to go, as the means of 
transportation in her eyes was not sufficiently 
safe. I paid the price, something like half a dol- 
lar christian money, and got under way. These 
tenders seem insignificant affairs after a sail on a 
big ship, and look as if they would topple over, or 
go to the bottom on the least provocation. This 
one was quite as good as any I have since met. 

52 



I have never been received any where with more 
enthusiasm than I was on landing at this spot. 
In fact, before I landed, not even at the Grand 
Central Station in New York, where every man 
asks me to "have a hack." Before the tender 
reached the wharf, I was seized by the natives, 
dragged on shore and had it not been for my per- 
fect knowledge of Spanish profanity, I might not 
have lived to write this history. I speak Spanish 
well, if I say it myself, having lived many years 
among Cubans and acquiring the lingo as does a 
child, with nothing omitted. They, consequently, 
took me to be as great a rascal as they were 
themselves and let me go. What a motley popu- 
lation it was gathered there at the landing! 
English, Spanish, Moors, people from all climes 
and from every where under the sun. I remem- 
ber, particularly, one fellow, a Moor, a magnificient 
specimen of a man in his physique. He looked 
as if he had just stepped out from a laundry, his 
black legs shining like polished marble, the 
white sheet about him — that is what it appeared 
to be, immaculate in its color. One of our party 
attempted to snap a Kodak at him, but whether it 
proved a success or not, I never learned. I could 
see the sneer in his face as if he were saying, 
"You Christian dog, how dare you ?" 

The wharf was filled with vendors of every 
conceivable thing on earth. Flowers, strawber- 
ries, photographs, fans, laces, shawls, heaven only 

53 



knows what not, and for which the most exorbi- 
tant charges were made. I at once bought a 
photographic album of the rock, and some fans, 
fearing the supply might give out. Had I been 
cooler and had the sense to wait until the tender 
turned its nose toward the ship, I could have 
bought at one-tenth the price. For a lot of lying, 
theiving rascals these fellows beat any bandits I 
ever met. The Venetians are bank cashiers 
compared to them. We took a carriage, that is a 
couple of us boys, and visited the principal points 
of interest. Before you pass over the bridge, 
which is at the entrance of the town, you are giv- 
en a little ticket which reads : 

"Waterport. — Permit until first evening gun. 
William Seed, Chief of Policed 

This lets you in. 

One is struck with the peculiar features of 
everything. Soldiers marching and walking 
about ; the narrow streets, some with sidewalks 
and some without; the donkeys ladened with 
panniers holding the produce for the markets ; 
the goats being milked before the doors; the 
signs above the shops, in a language unintelligible 
to most travelers ; people walking, or hurrying to 
and fro, types of every nation on earth. Now 
you hear English spoken, then Spanish, then 
French, now some other tongue, known or un- 
known. It is a veritable Tower of Babel and an 
unmistakable den of thieves. 

54 



I shall not attempt to describe the Rock, You 
can learn all about it in any geography, and of its 
vicissitudes in any fairly and unbiased written 
history. They claim it is three miles in length, 
three-quarters of a mile in average breadth, and 
1439 f^^t high above the sea. They lie so here 
I did not go up to prove it. The aspect of 
the Rock itself is uninviting, the whole appear- 
ing devoid of trees and verdure. About the base 
heliotrope grows in the wildest luxuriance, per- 
fuming the air and mitigating the other prevail- 
ing and less enjoyable odors. The most interest- 
ing objects are, the Great Market, the Moorish 
Castle the Almeda Gardens, Europa, General 
Eliott's monument, and the Galleries. Into these 
latter we were permitted to go, though not to a 
great extent. No Kodak was allowed, so our 
government must be content with guesses of its 
interior strength, rather than with plans taken on 
the spot. 

I do not consider it any earthly use for the 
United States to figure on capturing it and taking 
it over to Hawaii. England claims she owns it 
and has fastened it down to stay. As I once saw 
in a newspaper advertisement, "it is as solid as an 
Insurance Company." Perhaps I have the words 
twisted, anyhow it is in a good place, and I advise 
governments to let it alone. We got back to the 
ship, after the highwaymen and palace-car porters 
had gone through us to their heart's content, 

55 



sailing away at noon. We expect to reach 
Genoa, Thursday, about 5 P. m. 

My journal continues : 

June 3rd, Wednesday. — "Two weeks from home 
to-day .... beautiful weather .... the Mediter- 
ranean as smooth as glass .... Captain's dinner 
this evening. Dancing on deck after." 

The sail over the Mediterranean was the most 
enjoyable of our voyage as far as picturesqueness 
was concerned. At our right we could discern 
the dim outline of the African coast. Beyond, we 
passed along the border of the Riviera, Nice, 
Monte-Carlo, old Roman tov/ers, the Balearic 
Islands, all an ever-changing landscape. The 
Mediterranean when behaving itself is a most 
beautiful piece of water. Its color, reflected from 
the pure Italian skies, is of the most intense blue, 
as if indigo had dyed it in every portion. It is 
said that when aroused, it can give points to the 
Atlantic. We prefer to leave the question un- 
settled. 

The Captain's dinner given the evening before 
reaching the end of the voyage, is supposed to be 
a gorgeous affair. We saw no marked difference 
from those of other days. To be sure, there were 
a few more flags, some flowers and strawberries 
purchased at Gibraltar, but the "extras" cost the 
same, and the menu card was no longer, nor more 
varied. As our crowd was to separate, never to 
meet again here, or hereafter, so far as we knew, 

56 



we ordered a full line of "antitoxine" and drank 
to each other's health and prosperity. I could do 
the former unselfishly as I was at the time out of 
the practice of medicine. The ball followed. As 
I laid myself down to sleep that night thinking of 
all that had been in the joyous days of the past 
two weeks, of what might come to us and to ours 
in the future, I could not help repeating : 

Oh joyous days, thy memory lingers, 
Like some sweet dream ye haunt me as we part : 

I'll close thy tomb with holy, tender fingers, 
Thou'it lie embalmed 'mid spices of the heart. 

We reached Genoa, Thursday, June 4th, at 6 
o'clock, P. M. 

It was a beautiful sight as we approached "La 
Superba." The sun shone full upon the city of 
palaces and reflected back the beams from off the 
blue waters at its feet. Nearer and nearer we 
drew. Not like the baseless fabric of a dream 
was it, but like a silver picture in a frame of gold. 
We were anxious to get ashore, though we sor- 
rowed to leave behind those who had grown to be 
friends. At last the wharf was reached ; the 
plank thrown out, and the medical ofhcer of the 
Port stepped aboard. There was a long consul- 
tation with our doctor. We did not know what 
it meant. Perhaps there had been sickness in the 
steerage. Finally the parley came to an end and 
we were told to land. 

I am addicted to a few small vices, the greatest 

57 



of which is an inordinate love for tobacco in the 
form of smoking. I use it only three times a day. 
My wife will bear me out in this, only she says 
I smoke from breakfast till dinner, from dinner 
till supper and from supper till I go to bed. 

Among my effects purchased for the tour were 
a pipe and a reasonable supply of the weed. Dur- 
ing the many conversations held in the smoke- 
room, I learned tobacco was under the ban of the 
Italian Goverment, and that I should be obliged to 
pay duty on what I had in stock as the amount held 
by me was beyond the lawful allowance. Now 
as I did not care to be arrested as an outlaw on 
my first appearance in this land of Saints, I 
talked the matter over with the first engineer, 
who told me to throw the stuff overboard and 
not try "to do" the Customs. I did not know so 
much as I do now, or I would have kept it. To 
act on his advice I thought a wicked waste, so 
asked him to accept it, which he did quite will- 
ingly. I can now see through his game. 1 

We bade farewell to each fellow-passenger, in- 
cluding the smoke-room steward, several times. 
This latter hoped to meet us again. He really 
evinced more sorrow than some others with whom 
we had been more intimate. We gave him some 
marks and our pax. On leaving the ship after an 
ocean voyage the proper thing to do is to pay 
everybody something, no matter whether they 
have earned it or deserve it, or not. If you do 

58 



not do it voluntarily they will suggest it. Also 
tell them what a good time you have had. Don't 
mind a little lying, they won't know and you 
won't care. Your room steward and stewardess 
really deserve a "pourboir," and so does the deck 
steward. If you have any money left after doing 
the right thing all around, give it to the captain. 
No one will be insulted, no one will refuse. It is 
a habit they have all over Europe, and you may 
just as well get into practice first as last. I'd take 
something myself after last year's experience. 

When our luggage had been placed in care of 
the Custom House officers, we disembarked. We 
were met at the land end of the gang-plank by an 
interpreter whom we had engaged by cable. I 
gave him something as a starter. He knowing 
the ropes better than we, our trunk and bags were 
soon gone over, by the help of another remem- 
brance quietly placed in the hand of the Inspector, 
and after being stamped were put into a carriage 
and with our personal remains in attendance 
taken to the hotel. 



59 



CHAPTER V. 

GENOA. 

"Thy wreck a glory, and thy ruin graced 

With an immaculate charm which cannot be defaced." 

/^ ENOA, once called " The Superb,'' is now a back 
^^ number and out of the business. Though 
still the chief commercial port of Italy, there are 
many cities in the New World which could give 
it points as far as "the superb" is concerned. Once 
when its palaces held dukes and duchesses, when 
fair women and brave men lived within the now 
ruined Palazzi, when history was being made, 
Genoa had a seat way up in front. I do not mean 
to say it is not of interest now. It is full of story 
and of remembrance. Take your Baedeker, (God 
bless him) and read up. Then buy a ticket and go 
to see it. It will cancel the expenditure. I will 
tell you how it appeared to us. 

We reached the hotel (Londres) after a ride of 
about ten minutes. They have no tape-measures 
in Europe with which to measure distances. You 
go so long. I suppose when they lay out a rail- 
road they bargain, or contract according to the 
time it takes to build it. We registered and went 
to our rooms. The sensations produced by walk- 

60 



ing about were singular ones. My legs felt as if 
they had rights of their own and wished to exer- 
cise them. I staggered as I presume men do 
when intoxicated. I know it was lost motion, 
lost land motion, lost on the ship and that I had 
not recovered my terrestrial equilibrium. Mary 
thought it might be due to the grief expressed, 
or absorbed, at saying good bye to the boys. I 
came out all right the next day. 

After "regulating" things and opening that 
trunk, we fixed up a trifle. I thought I would 
stroll about the town, getting in as much of sight- 
seeing as possible, time being short and we 
getting near to our letter of credit. I went into 
the hall and rung for the elevator, supposing the 
cars ran as in hotels I am accustomed to patron- 
ize. After waiting half an hour, I walked down 
stairs to see what had become of the machine. I 
was informed what we in civilized countries call 
"elevators" are here, (and all over Europe, with 
few exceptions,) known as "lifts," that is, they 
take — lift you up, but you go down on your own 
merits. My wife experiences more difficulty in 
going down than in mounting stairways ; this 
was therefore an unpleasant outlook. I found 
the ship's methods availed on land and soon had 
a satisfactory understanding with the engineer, 
the satisfaction costing about five lira — one dollar. 

European elevators, or lifts, are not dangerous. 
They are however made of poor material and un- 

6i 



able to stand any great strain. Mary broke every 
one in every hotel we visited. She says it was 
simply a coincidence ; I know it was fact. If you 
desire an afternoon ride, get into one and tell 
whoever works the lever you wish to get out at 
the second story, what they call their second .... 
Start soon after luncheon and you may get up in 
time for dinner. Slow? Molasses in winter has 
a railroad speed compared to them. Their style 
differs in different hotels. This you will be 
thankful for. Some have a boy, (hired because 
he knows absolutely nothing about running the 
concern), to drive the hearse, and to let you out 
when you appear tired, or think you are some- 
where in the neighborhood of your hall. Others 
are said to be "automatic." They are. You enter 
and tell the agent the name of the station at which 
you desire to stop. The door is shut, something 
is fixed, and you are let "go Gallagher." If you 
have led a decent life in this world, the chances 
are the funeral will stop at the proper place. 
We never went beyond. 

The sights in the streets interested me greatly, 
everything was so novel. What looked like tram- 
cars ran about apparently as the judgment of the 
horses dictated, there being no rails that I could 
see. They got along as well as if nickel-plate had 
been laid, the pavements were so smooth. You 
pay two centimes a ride and get a ticket included, 
that the conductor may know you are on the 

62 



train. They never take it up, and I brought mine 
home so as to have them on hand when I go again. 
The streets, now and then, have sidewalks, except 
where they are extremely narrow. By narrow I 
mean three feet or less in width. Here and there 
you see a pair of stairs, leading from one street to 
another, up hill. It saves going around the 
block. The Police are the most gorgeous mortals 
I ever met. After I had seen a few dozens of 
them, I concluded the Italian army was encamped 
near by and the Major Generals were taking a 
a brief respite from duty by strolling through the 
town. They wear cocked hats, epaulets, buttons 
galore, and what appear to be gold swords dang- 
ling between their legs. The size of the weapon 
is somewhat larger than our cavalry sabre, and of 
the same shape. On top of all this is enough or- 
namentation to make them a first-class sign for a 
wholesale clothing establishment. I never saw 
them arrest anyone, though it appeared to me 
they had abundant opportunities. Wages must 
be low, or it does not pay to over-work themselves. 
While walking about and drinking in the kaleido- 
scopic views, I began to feel like taking a smoke. 
All my tobacco had gone, as I have stated, to the 
engineer aboard of the boat, so I purchased some 
cigars, (that is what they called them,) three of 
them, at a little shop presided over by a Seigniora, 
no doubt the wife of a Duke. They were alleged 
to be made of real Virginia leaf. If they were, I 

63 



hope Italy has a monopoly of the crop. I've been 
in Virginia, but have never .seen any tobacco that 
could, or would, hold a candle to this compound. 
These vanilla beans called cigars, are about eight 
inches long, three-quarters of an inch thick and 
black as a lead penciL One end has a piece of 
straw glued on for a mouth-piece, or holder, and 
through the entire length runs a broom corn 
which you pull out before lighting, so as to get a 
draught and form the chimney. I smoked nearly 
a quarter of an inch of this insulated electric wire 
and threw the other two away. Then I bought 
cigarettes, on which I lived till reaching Amster- 
dam, where really goods cigars may be obtained. 
We dined at five o clock everything on the 
table being well cooked and served. Ice-water 
was the only dish lacking. My wife ordered a 
glass. The head waiter, evidently astounded at 
her rashness, sent for the Coroner and sum.moned 
a jury. I thought he did, as he was so long get- 
ting it. Perhaps they had to freeze it, or send 
into the Alps for a supply. When I am in Italy I 
do as the Italians do. I stick to Chianti, it's cheaper. 
Ice-water at twelve cents a glass and wine at six a 
litre make me prefer wine. It has always been 
necessary for me to practice economy, as my 
charges are low and my paying patients few. 

In the evening we were visited by some of the 
ladies who had been fellow-passengers on the 
"Werra," the doctor, and the "Lunatic," who sug- 

64 



gested visiting a place of amusement. Though I 
thought I had been in one ever since I put my 
feet on land, my wife and I accepted. I have not 
the faintest idea where we went. We followed 
the doctor, who seemed to know the city by heart. 
And why should he not ? He had been here often 
enough. He took care of the "Belle of the ship," 
a young lady from Kentucky, who apparently had 
captured his heart for the time, or trip ; the "Lu- 
natic" guided my wife, (and he had his hands full) 
buying her flowers and paying other little atten- 
tions that did not make me at all jealous. I 
brought up the rear, now and then catching up 
with the procession to see that proper decorum 
was maintained. We landed in a Garden, where, 
to the disgust of my wife and the other ladies, 
bier, wine and smoke, make up the entertainment. 
My wife, as if to set an example of temperance, 
or assume a virtue, called for a lemonade. She 
got what she deserved, namely a bottle of what 
we know as lemon soda. She has learned to ask 
for "lemon squash" when she wants the real ar- 
ticle. We returned late in the evening and 
walked up stairs. The "lift" was asleep. We 
again "arranged" things, and after lighting the 
two tallow dips, (extra charge) went to bed. 
Whatever may be said against the Italians, I'll 
stick up for their beds. I think the one I slept in 
was the most delicious, heavenly lay-out I have 
ever experienced. My wife said they were no 

65 



better than those we had at home, but that we en- 
joyed and appreciated them more on account of 
the difference between them and the ship's berths. 
On the whole, I think her diagnosis was correct. 
The next morning we went to breakfast by way 
of tlie "lift." That finished, we held a consulta- 
tion as to our future route and sundry other mat- 
ters, wrote letters, packed our steamer rugs and 
clothing to be sent to Liverpool, to await our sail- 
ing by the "Majestic" on August 12th. We here 
instituted a plan of sight-seeing which we found 
so convenient we continued it during our entire 
outing. First, we engaged a guide — in this case 
we took our Interpreter, hired a cab and told the 
duke on the box to drive to everywhere in the 
city, no matter how much time it consumed, or 
how many lira it cost. They have a curious way 
of urging on the horses. This is done, not by say- 
ing "get up" in Italian, but by a sort of chirrup, 
which it is impossible to express in words. It has 
the effect. Mary got it to perfection, and when- 
ever she wished me to step lively made the 
whistling sound. In this way we saw the people, 
the buildings, the linen of the dukes and duch- 
esses hanging out of the windows to dry, 
and every other outside thing in the place. 
After that we did interiors, museums, churches, 
palaces. It costs more than to follow "Baedeker," 
but the results are better and you get over the 
ground faster. We visited everything worth see- 

66 



ing, including- the monument of Columbus, in the 
center of the spacious Piazza Aqua Verde, just 
around the corner from our hotel, a magnificent 
work of art, erected in 1862. The Cathedral, all 
the churches, of which the "Annunziata" is the 
most sumptuous ; the white and red palaces ; the 
house at 37 Vicco Dritto Ponticelo St., where Co- 
lumbus was born in 1446; the Municipio, or town 
hall, where among many other objects of great 
interest I saw the violin of Paganini, locked in an 
iron vault, lined with quilted blue silk. The in- 
strument is a "Guernarius." The fiddle of Savori 
lies beneath it. Both are taken out three times a 
year, played upon and put in order. They are 
priceless relics to him who knows anything of the 
mysteries of the king of instruments. 

A volume could be written, filled Vv^ith descrip- 
tions of what we saw this day. To guide-books 
and other histories of Italian cities I must refer 
the reader. I do not want to bring too many 
chestnuts into this. One place I must mention, 
the "Campo Santo," or burial grotmd, the most 
magnificent in the world. Perhaps we were 
attracted to it by reason of my association with 
the work laid out in it. Statuary most graceful 
and artistic, works of art in themselves, and 
worthy of a more noble resting place, line the 
long corridors for miles. Every nook, corner and 
space is adorned with them. Beneath your feet 
are the resting places of the dead, over which you 

67 



walk, these wonderful monuments, mementoes of 
love and affection, bringing to mind heroic 
virtues, if the dead in life were in keeping with 
the grandeur of their tomb-stones. The whole is 
beyond description, and a more nimble pen than 
mine is needed to describe the magnificence of 
the spot. Italian art is a big thing. I've learned 
something about it and admire it. Prof. A. 
Springer, has written a good deal on the subject 
and to his exhaustive works I refer you. We had 
a great day of it and filled but not satiated, we 
returned to the hotel for dinner. In the evening 
I went to the theater. Mary was exhausted, so I 
allowed her to remain at home. The doctor, the 
"Lunatic" and I made up the crowd and filled the 
auditorium. It rained in torrents after the per- 
formance, and we walked to our domicile in the 
drenching outpour. The cars and omnibuses do 
not run at night. The wheels are tired. As I lay 
on my bed courting sleep, through my window 
came the sound of voices. Young fellows going 
home, or out for some lark, singing as only Italians 
can, now in soli, now in duetto, then in unison. 
It was a free concert occurring every few minutes 
as the young lads sauntered along. It would cost 
a dollar and a half in New York to hear sing- 
ing that could not compare with this. 

From Genoa many delightful excursions may 
be made. Our time being so limited we post- 
poned falling into temptation until our next visit. 

68 



We bade farewell to the doctor, and to the "Lu- 
natic," also to others of our boat friends who had 
remained with us during our stay in Genoa. 
There was a Professor of Astronomy, with his 
sister, a most charming girl who had come over 
with us, and were on their way to the North Cape 
to make some kind of observation on an eclipse 
of the sun. They had a good deal of trouble in 
getting there, and after all the pains taken the 
day was cloudy, and they did not see the display. 
They traveled with us as far as Florence, but from 
the day of leaving us at that point, we have not 
seen them. I'd like to meet the sister again. As 
for the Professor, I'll turn him over to my wife. 
We left for Pisa and Rome the next day. 



69 



CHAPTER VI. 

PISA. 

WE left Genoa for Rome via Pisa, June 6th? 
at 12:42 P M. The railroad wends its way 
along the shores of the Mediterranean, through 
two hundred and fifty tunnels, I do not think 
this is exaggerated by one tunnel. The ride was 
one of surpassing interest, as every moment "new 
novelties" greeted the sight. Here and there 
vineyards, the vines hanging from the mulberry 
trees, festooned in every conceivable and fantas- 
tic shape. Olive groves and gardens, flowers 
blooming in almost tropic luxuriance. Men and 
women working in the fields, the women doing 
the hardest part of the labor, as they should. Once 
I saw a woman and a cow hitched to a plow, pull- 
ing it along as if it were a matter of course. The 
huts, or houses, built of stone, usually a single 
story high, are vine-clad, nestling amid flowers 
and blooms. Some ape great dignity, the stucco 
front ornamented between the stones with painted 
balconies making them appear as real. The roofs 
are covered with tiles, like a red drain pipe cut in 
two and placed side b}^ side till the top of the 
building is covered. Where these fail to perform 

70 



their function, straw or dried grass make up 
vfhat is lacking. Horses are few and far be- 
tween, the little donkey or jackass doing what 
horses do for us. It appears wonderful what these 
little animals accomplish, the loads they pull and 
the gait they keep up. To be sure, the roads are 
like a floor, hard as stone can make them, without 
mud, holes or roughness. The carts are immense 
structures, with two wheels only, each nearly five 
feet in diameter, the thills big enough to be floor 
timbers and the entire get up cumbersome and 
crude. Still these little fellows draw them along at 
a good pace, even when laden so as to appear top- 
heavy. Once I saw four persons, two women and 
two men, attempt to mount one of these carts, 
though it seemed to be loaded sufficiently at the 
time. The last to mount was a stout woman. She 
got on by the rear and the weight of her anatomi- 
cal structure so displaced the center of gravity, 
the poor little beast was lifted entirely from his 
feet and hung dangling in the air. The matter 
was adjusted after the aforesaid woman got off, 
and stowed her body nearer the middle of the ark. 
The harness is heavy enough for a derrick, the 
saddle the most ponderous of all the connections. 
It appears to me there is room in Italy for a chap- 
ter of the "Society for the Prevention of Cruelty 
to Animals." But you can't tell, the jackass may 
not be getting anything more than he deserves. 
It was our first ride in a foreign railroad train. 

71 



We had heard much of the discomfort of travel by 
railroads in Europe, but I have failed to see it. I 
think it depends a good deal on the traveler. The 
cars are short, not much if any longer than twenty 
feet, with two wheels at each end, four in all. The 
car is divided into compartments of different 
classes. Some are entirely of the first-class,'some of 
the second, some of the third. Then you find first 
and second mixed, then second and third. In 
Germany they have a fourth class, which may be 
used for military service in carrying troops and 
horses and such impedimenta. In our travels we 
used first-class in Italy and France, second in Ger- 
many, England and elsewhere. We did not try 
the fourth class, as in them you stand up. This 
division is good enough for any one unless he is 
a fool, or a Croesus. We never traveled at night, 
so I can say nothing of the "sleepers." The ordi- 
nary compartments, I believe, are turned into 
them by pushing up the arms and giving you 
some bedding. I am not sure but you have to 
furnish the latter yourself. In England ''Wag- 
ners" and "Pullmans" are being rapidly introduced. 
I saw no freight cars, that is box cars similar to 
ours. All the freight is placed on platforms and 
covered with tarpaulins, held down by ropes 
tied at the corners. There may be other varieties, 
but I do not remember them. The engines are 
small affairs, but powerful, very different in ap- 
pearance to those we use. Some have cabs, others 

72 



not. All the coaches are lighted by gas, and in 
Italy they are kept constantly burning as the 
number of tunnels is so great. A signal is 
placed in the top of each compartment with 
instructions how to use it if any danger threatens 
the train or passenger. The penalty for monkey- 
ing with it is severe. Little difference is seen in 
the make-up of the first and second class com- 
partments. The former are perhaps a trifle more 
luxuriously furnished, and have a looking glass. 
The glass seems to be the principal ornamenta- 
tion, even when the seats are covered with velvet 
plush, as they usually are. The leather-covered 
ones in the second class are much cooler and more 
agreeable. Overhead are large and capacious 
racks for holding rugs, umbrellas, bundles and pur- 
chases. Beneath the seats is ample room to stow 
away the baby, and other useless articles. The 
motion of the carriage while running is an oscil- 
lating one, very disagreeable to those who suffer 
from the impediment of adipose, not unpleasant 
to the average weight. It bothered Mary some- 
what. In all the trains we had every comfort, lava- 
tories, observation platforms, towels, drinking 
water, every convenience of travel. The seats 
are across, not length-wise of the compartment. 
There are two in each, facing. Each is divided 
by a movable arm, which may be turned up at 
night, or at any time. The seats hold eight per- 
sons. In some compartments smoking is allowed, 

73 



in others not, there being no special "smoker." 
In those in which it is permitted, ash-receivers 
and other conveniences are at hand for the user 
of the weed. Above each seat is a map of the 
route and full explanations of the rules of the 
company in four languages, Italian, German, 
French and English. Ten or twelve of these 
cars usually make up a train. They do not run 
on "Empire Express" time, the average for the 
fastest being about twenty-five miles an hour. 
Tliis, I judge, is done in order that the people 
m.ay think they have a large country, for should 
the speed be much faster than it is, the whole 
business would shoot out of the domain in an 
hour or two, thus producing unbelief in their 
geographies, or start a revolution. The road-beds 
are magnificent, far ahead of those in America. 
Stone fences separate themi from the highways 
and adjoining lands, the sides being walled up 
making them smooth and clean in appearance. 
"Grade crossings" go under the track, so the 
train and the country wagons do not occupy the 
same space at the same time. The experiments 
made in my native land to accomplish this feat 
have proved disastrous to all but surgeons. The 
coal used is pressed into blocks about three times 
the size of an American brick. It is smooth and 
polished like marble. At every station it is piled 
in immense stacks ready for loading upon the 
tender. 

74 



The starting of a train is no small affair. It is 
a regular Fourth of July. It is not done by the 
stroke of a bell, or the wave of a hand. Oh, no ! 
We do it in that way, they don't. It is too big a 
thing, too big a business to be let off in so unos- 
tentatious a manner. It merits more attention. 
First a horn is blown ; then the station-bell is 
rung ; then the conductor has his innings and 
blows another horn ; last the engineer whistles 
and the train moves on. The whistle on the loco- 
motive is, from its sound, about an inch long and 
one-quarter of an inch in diameter. It makes no 
more noise than the willow variety constructed by 
the average school boy, not so much. I never 
passed another train in motion. One stands 
still, till the other has gone on. This insures 
safety. The tracks are, as a rule, single ones, but 
have more curves than a work on Geometry. The 
station houses are large and divided into depart- 
ments, or offices, as numerous as a lottery agency. 
Telegraph wires are strung along the road and 
that they may not get out of order, or fall down, 
two poles, often three, hold the wire at the same 
point. This is too frequent to be an accident, it is 
the rule. Block-signals are coming into use, but 
how operated I know not. I saw no towers, hence 
think they are worked by a string. 

This is about the way you board a train : First 
give some money to everybody in the hotel, in- 
cluding the cook, whom you probably have never 

75 



vSeen. Then hire a carriage. Pay the porter for 
putting your trunks and other traps on board, 
after giving something to the hall-man for strap- 
ping them and bring them down stairs. Ride to 
the station. Pay the driver his fare, and remu- 
nerate him for the honor he has conferred upon 
you in permitting you to ride in his vehicle. A 
man now meets you as you dismount to take your 
hand-luggage. Pay him something for his act of 
kindness. Another takes your trunks into the 
baggage-room. Don't forget him, or he will jog 
your memory. Then buy your ticket. You give 
the agent his present when you buy it, it is inclu- 
ded in the charge. Have your trunks and kit 
weighed. This will cost a coin of the realm for the 
trouble. You are then handed a piece of paper, 
with some unintelligible jargon and figures on it, 
a duplicate of which is pasted on your trunk for 
identification. This they think is /'checking." 
They do it this way because they know no better. 
It serves its purpose, however, and as a rule, you 
get what you pay for — that is, your trunks. You 
think you are done paying. Oh, no. You have 
only struck the preface. At the door of the 
platform is another angel to help you and your 
flowers, umbrellas, luncheon and such, into your 
compartment. He has a large family in destitute 
circumstances, and as you do not wish to go out of 
the country knowing you have left a suffering 
mortal behind, when it is in your power to help 

76 



1 



him out of the scrape, present him with a tip. 
After you are in your seat you count your change, 
and look over your letter of credit to see if you 
have enough to get a night's lodging. Soon they 
yell out something which I presume may be 
translated "all aboard," the guard shuts and fastens 
the door, and after the concert of bells, trumpets 
and whistles by the officials is over, the train 
starts. I could not do the thing better myself. 

I have heard a good deal said about being 
"locked in" these compartments. For the life of 
me I cannot see why a man in his senses wants 
to get out while the train is in motion. Mary nor 
I did not. The statement is over drawn. You are 
no more "locked in" than you are in our own cars. 
If you wish to open the door you may do so, and 
you may take a walk on the little platform run- 
ning around the car. It is against the rules, but 
you take your chances. The door is kept shut 
for your safety. If you want to break your neck, 
it is not the comxpany's fault. Another good thing 
about these railroads is, you cannot, unless you 
are a blank fool, get into the wrong train, or out 
at the wrong station. This is the mode of pro- 
cedure : Buy a ticket. It is then looked at by a 
man at the gate, then by another, after you have 
passed the turnstile : then before you get into the 
car, then before the train starts, and last by the 
guard before the funeral has gone so far the 
corpse cannot get home by walking. The pro- 
cess is reversed when you arrive at where 

17 



you wish, to stop. The guards on the train, 
one to each car, take the places of our conductors. 
(Don't forget to give him something in the way 
of money before you get off.) They have a seat 
on the top of the trap, where they look out and 
study the country, every novv^ and then coming 
down to see if you are on board. They are po- 
lite, when you can make them understand what 
you are talking about, or are going to give them 
something. They are all uniformed, and don't 
bother you looking at your ticket every ten min- 
utes. At each important station the doors of the 
compartments are thrown open and you may take 
a stroll about the town before the train leaves if 
you so desire. At every place vfhere the train 
stops if only for a minute, wine, sausages, sand- 
wiches, fruit and other edibles are offered for sale 
by boys or women. Water is difficult to obtain. 
Everything sold is reasonable (comparatively,) 
clean and good. At a starting station when the 
train has a long run, as from Paris to Calais, 
lunch-baskets may be bought, and for a dollar you 
get a bottle of wine, a chicken, rolls and butter, 
knife and fork, napkins, tumbler, and some fruit. 
It is sufficient for one and often for two. The 
basket which contained the viands is left in the 
compartment and gets back to the owner — some- 
how. When you land at your desired haven you be- 
gin paying out the same as when you started, 
simply reversing the motion. The same band of 

78 



robbers is around and not one of the gang is miss- 
ing. You get tired after you have been doing it 
all the time for three months. The gratuities 
however are small. We soon got into the habit 
of filling our pockets with what Mary called 
"chicken feed," and a couple of dollars would last 
us a day or longer, if we kept our heads and did 
not mistake francs for centimes. Never hesitate 
about giving, no matter how small the amount. 
It will always be acceptable either in a church, 
saloon, museum or catacomb. You'll be made 
uncomfortable if you do not. The only thing to 
remember is, not to give too much. If you do, 
you will have more attention from the natives 
than I usually bestow on my wife. The reader is 
beginning to a,sk what all this talk has to with Pisa. 
I answer, nothing. It is only a means to an end. 
Pisa is a quiet town, the capital of a province 
and situated six miles from the sea on both banks 
of the Arno, over which one may cross by either 
of four bridges. It became a Roman colony one 
hundred and eighty years B. C, and looks as if it 
had not recovered from it yet. The biggest thing 
in it is the "Piazza Duomo," where are located 
the Leaning Tower, Cathedral, the Baptistery and 
the Campo Santo. To this every one goes as 
soon as he sets foot in the place. The Cathedral, 
Leaning Tower, the Baptistery with the Campo 
Santo, form a group which, like Barnum's show, 
has no equal of its kind on earth. It is outside 

79 



the city proper, and they keep the Tower there 
for fear it may tumble over on some of the boys 
going home late at night. In the Cathedral is 
the bronze lamp from the swaying of which Ga- 
lileo got the idea of grandfather's clock. The 
idea was a good one as long as it lasted. The in- 
terior is like all other cathedrals, filled with altars, 
candles, pictures and wooden saints, images of 
the originals and just as good. The Baptistery is 
a kind of annex to the cathedral and is run by 
the Baptist end of the Roman church. It was 
started in 1153 and does not yet appear completed 
The eight-story Clock Tower, called "The Lean- 
ing Tower," thirteen feet out of plumb in a height 
of 1 79 feet, is surrounded by a lot of columns to 
hold it up. These run to the top, practically mak- 
ing the whole machine. Some one was off his base 
when it was started, or full, which has produced the 
curious effect that has given it so much distinction. 
Temperance people say the leaning is due to the 
settling of the foundations. You may take your 
choice. I have my opinion. Galileo worked up a lot 
of business for Gravitation by reason of this crook- 
edness, and helped Physics to be more stupid 
than its forefathers intended. This tower has 
seven bells, four more than a church near my re- 
sidence at home. I pity the people. Those at 
home are rung every Sunday morning at 7:30. 
Now there are only about half a dozen Christians 
within sound of the noise, all others in the neigh- 
borhood being otherwise. I never could under- 

80 



stand the need of cutting up the row they do, just 
for the sake of getting so few inside the Insurance 
building at so earl}^ an hour. They pay their 
bills no quicker during the week. I am opposed 
to bells, not only on the score of disturbance to 
health, but because I own a watch. The Campo 
Santo is built out of fifty-three ship-loads of earth 
brought from Mount Calvary. They freighted 
the land over at reduced rates, so those who 
thought themselves better than common folks 
might lie snugger than the other bugger buried 
elsewhere. Every one planted in it is as dead as 
a smelt, and their foreign address is unknown. 
I do not see that they can rise any sooner than if 
they had been cremated. It is every one to his 
taste. Mary says when she dies she wants to go 
to Paris, not to Pisa. All the buildings contain 
paintings and frescoes, more or less poor. Some 
are said to be good, I am no judge. At any 
rate they have age with them. 

Beside these unusual attractions, there is a Uni- 
versity and any number of common churches, all 
owned by a Saint syndicate; at least they are 
named after some one of the lot. It's a large com- 
pany. From what I have seen I should think 
there were nearly half a million in Italy alone, 
that is Saints, The Lungarno is the busy part of 
the city, where are the wharves extending along 
both banks of the river. If you wish to know all 
we saw in Pisa, get your Baedeker and read up. 
The print is fine and so are the descriptions. 

8i 



CHAPTER VII. 

ROME. 
"The Niobe of Nations." 

WE reached the Eternal City at ii:^o P. M. 
and were driven to the Hotel Minerva. It 
is near the center of the city, on the Piazza della 
Minerva, beside the church of S. Maria Minerva 
and within sight of the Pantheon. Before it stands 
a monument made up of an elephant in marble, 
on the back of which a small ancient obelisk was 
placed by Bernini in 1667, We slept well after 
our long ride and awoke early. Here, as else- 
where, everything is left-handed. The corres- 
pondence paper has its name and announcement 
on the last page. You dry your writing with 
sand instead of with blotting pads ; doors open in, 
when they should open out, and have locks and 
keys large enough for a state prison. The floors 
are of stone, covered with rugs, or pieces of car- 
pet. Candles try to dispel the darkness at night, 
after the twilight which lingers here till near 
midnight is done. 

"The lifts" are the same freight and accommo- 
dation trains as in all European hotels. No one 
need hesitate about traveling in Italy, or, in fact, 

82 



any country of Europe, by reason of a want of 
knowledge of the country's language. English is 
spoken everywhere, at the hotels, at the tourist 
agencies, by the guides and by many you meet in 
the streets and stores. If any foreign tongue is 
to be acquired, let it be French. With this latter 
you can get along without the slightest trouble. 
Nearly everyone speaks it, especially in Italy, from 
the shoe-black on the street to the driver on the 
hack. I bought a "Phrase book" before leaving 
home, warranted to contain all useful (?) expres- 
sions in four languages. It was a snare and a de- 
lusion. Listen to this as an example : "Bring me 
your carriage and horses, that I may see them, and 
if I like them I will buy them." Did you ever 
read anything more idiotic? What I wanted to 
say was : "Bring me some more bier," or some- 
thing that was like it, matters that pertained to 
my temporal and spiritual welfare. Real solid 
experiences are not in these "horn books." Then 
there are no swear-words. I never use profanity, 
but I often think it, especially when traveling. 
You can't get along without it. If you can swear 
in a foreign language it eases you up, and don't 
count against you later, that is in the "sweet bye 
and bye." You think swear so often in Europe 
when you are called upon to pay for what you 
have not had, that it pays to have it on tap, and 
always proves itself a good thing. You feel 
better when the depth of the circumstances de 

83 



mands it. A friend of mine wrote me out a lot 
of words, but forgot to put the "swear" in. They 
were of no earthly use. He is a Presbyterian. I 
caught onto a few gems, more or less forcible, 
from the guide, and I use them even now. I can 
swear at Mary and she thinks I am calling her pet 
names. She swears, but her methods differ from 
mine. I understand her. 

It is impossible to describe in words how Rome 
impressed us. One must see it. Only then will 
he know how it feels. You cannot tell it, you feci 
it. As you walk through the city your history and 
your classics come back. You dream of the cen- 
turies long gone when Rome was mistress of the 
world. You walk under triumphal arches, enter 
the Pantheon, the only ancient edifice which is 
still in perfect preservation, visit the houses of the 
Csesars, go down into the prison where Paul and 
Peter were confined, stand within the churches 
and beside the tombs, upon the places where men 
have died "without the shedding of blood" for 
what was then called heresy, and what we know 
now as truth. You see in mental vision, the wild 
beasts in the dens of the Colosseum, the victim 
waiting in the arena; the Emperor, the Vestal 
Virgins, and the populace filling the auditorium : 
you hear the applause, or see the thumbs turned 
down. What memories rise, what shudders creep 
over you ! You love it, yet hate it. Here learning 
was advanced, but freedom of thought and science 

84 



were throttled. Here was the center of the world, 
and here men died that Truth might live. 

As "Rome was not built in a da,y," so its wonders 
cannot be seen in a hasty visit. A year is all too 
short to grasp, or even read the preface of the 
interesting volume here opened. From the Dome 
of Saint Peter's, and the tomb of Hadrian, across 
the Bridge of the C^sars, to the end of the Appian 
Way, by the Mausoleums of those who have 
carved out the history of the world, each spot, 
each stone, every vista calls to mind some incident 
fraught with memories. To the Christian, and to 
the Unbeliever, Rome has its pages written in 
records that defy the tooth of Time. All that is 
beautiful in art is here. The brush of the painter, 
and the chisel of the sculptor adorn corridor and 
aisle. Temples and palaces tell of the might and 
power of church and state ; Pope, prince and po- 
tentate speak of rule and influence, reaching out 
to the ends of the earth. How unspeakably grand 
it is, how dwarfed one feels amid these records of 
the past and present. 

Sunday was our first day in this marvelous place. 
We engaged a guide at once, and he proved the 
best in all our journeyings. He had been the es- 
cort of many distinguished Americans, and had 
honored them by accepting their cards, to which 
collection I added mine, after paying him five 
liras a day and giving him some money as a re- 
membrance. I shall try to get hold of him on my 
next visit. 

85 



We went first to the Forum, througli the ruins 
of the Ancient City to the Colosseum, spending 
many hours among these reminders of years 
long gone. We went, however, to vespers at St. 
Peter's in the afternoon, so got credit for being 
religious. The King broke the day by reviewing 
the troops and having a grand display of fire- 
works in the evening. 

We saw many of the Italian soldiers just re- 
turned from Africa, and a sorry lot they were, 
from the thrashing they received. Each day we 
visited the hitherto unknown and dreamed of 
places of interest. St. Peter's, the churches, the 
Vatican, monuments, arches and ways, statues and 
columns, galleries and paintings, fountains and 
baths, catacombs and tombs, gardens and shops, 
temples and prisons ; saw dead Popes and live 
ones, saints and sinners, fat and jolly Cardinals 
and Bishops, and the barefooted missionary, 
types of every order belonging to the great 
church ; crossed the Tiber again and again, saw 
everything, in fact, that makes Rome the grand- 
est and most historically interesting city in the 
world. To a pen like that of Gibbon must be left 
the description of them all : m)^ poor diction feels 
its poverty of words. We visited the catacombs 
of Callistus, on the Via Appia, the most interest- 
ing of all the catacombs in Rome. Less fantas- 
tic than that of the "Capuchins," they have the 
merit of being older, and contain more of what is 

S6 



left of genuine saints. I tried to obtain of the cus- 
todian a small relic in the shape of a bone, but 
he refused to part with any, though his stock was 
large. I offered to buy one at his own price. 
Strange to say, this met with a refusal. As a last 
resort I offered to turn Catholic and allow him to 
baptize me then and there. I got no bone. Per- 
haps I did not know the ropes. In my business 
a toe- joint would have been a big advertisement, 
as I might have announced miracles could be 
worked on the sick during office-hours at the old 
price. An increase in the number of patients was 
looked for to make the investment pay. I brought 
home the remains of the little candle I used in my 
investigation of the tombs. There may be some 
virtue in that. 

The Piazza Campo di Fiore, was to me a spot 
fraught with sadness and thought, for here on 
Feb. 17th, 1600, the hero, Giordano Bruno, suf- 
fered death by being burned at the stake; his 
heresy, the assertion that there were other worlds 
than ours. Where that noble life went out, on the 
spot where stood the stake, now stands a monu- 
ment. Upon its top a statue. It is that of Bruno, 
and the inscription reads "Sanctus Bruno." The 
dome of St Peter's, and the columns of the Vati- 
can are just beyond. Some of us who are here- 
tics to-day may be saints to-morrow. Who knows ? 
The world moves. 

87 



In Rome carriage hire is cheap. For the equiva- 
lent of a dollar, we had a "Fiacre" with a driver 
the entire day. This wage does not include your 
present, vv^hich if you feel particularly generous, 
may amount to ten cents, half a lira. You can get 
around by the tram-cars if you wish to save money, 
or reduce expenses, but it is less annoying by the 
carriage, beside saving much walking. The ex- 
change on my gold paid all this, and left some- 
thing over for lemon squashes for Mary. The 
water in Rome is pure and plentiful. Ice is scarce. 
The old aquedu.ct of Claudius is still used in part 
and the supply is full and abundant. Fountains 
play everywhere, and the stream is not the size of 
a goose quill either. It rushes in torrents, cooling 
all about it. We had been told not to go so far 
south at this time of the year, as Roman fever was 
apt to find lodgement in the unacclimated. We 
took the chances and quinine. I think all this 
talk about Roman fever is largely exaggerated. 
Medical and Sanitary Science have done much to 
abort it by better drainage, drying the low lands, 
as in the Compagnia, and furnishing a more 
abundant supply of wholesome water. That it 
does occur I do not doubt, especially in the fall 
months. Winter is really the time to visit the 
city. The only thing I should fear being the 
inability to keep warm. The modes of heating 
seem very primitive and not likely to accomplish 
the desired result. The stoves, (there is no hot- 

88 



air or steam heat tliat I saw) are high porcelain 
boxes with the feed-door and all means of regula,- 
ting them out in the hall, beyond the reach of him 
who desires to keep warm. Your comfort depends 
evidently on the friendly relations you establish 
with the hall-boy. I suppose you get so much 
caloric for so many soldi. 

The Romans are great rascals as tradesmen. I 
have not met "the noblest of them all." They 
catch on to you as soon as they see you, and 
knowing you are a foreigner put up the price. 
After a few days when I went shopping, I passed 
myself off as a Spaniard, (this was before the war) 
hoping to get rates somewhere near the value of 
things. I do not know whether it made any dif- 
ference or not. 

As in all European cities, the inhabitants live 
out of doors when the weather and temperature 
permit. Little tables are seen everywhere in 
front of the cafes, and men and women taking 
luncheon, or drinking wine. They do not seem 
to be annoyed by flies, though fleas attract a good 
deal of attention. Ask Mary. We bought here, 
as elsewhere, photographs of all noted pictures 
and statuary, as well as of the most interesting 
ruins and buildings, sending them home un- 
mounted by registered post, thereby saving the 
payment of duty. It is useless to say our stay v\^as 
all too short. Weeks may be spent in investigat- 
ing all that is here to be seen. A life-time could 

89 



hardly complete it. Old, before Time began its 
overthrow, Rome is ever new. Each turn brings 
to view a lovelier historic picture. Its temples 
tell of its might and power ; its ruins of what it 
has been. It would almost seem as if the pro- 
phetic saying of the pilgrims of the eighth cen- 
tury was true : 

"While stands the Colosseum, Rome shall stand, 

When falls the Colosseum, Rome shall fall, 

And when Rome falls, with it shall fall the world." 

Of course many amusing incidents occurred 
during our stay. I recall one in particular. We 
had been "doing" the town in the morning, and 
had stopped at a cafe for luncheon. The guide 
excused himself, saying he washed to go home, as 
his wife was ill, but would return before we were 
ready to sally forth to new adventures. The Pro- 
fessor and his pretty sister were with us. After 
seating ourselves at the table, the menu was 
placed before us. It was written, or printed, in 
Italian, (we never could decide which) and in so 
poor and illegible a style, that even the Professor, 
with all his learning, could not decipher it. It 
looked like a sixth copy done on a third-hand 
type-writer. I think it was etched with a broken 
electric pen, or perhaps it was one of those "foun- 
tain" fellows. We tried to read it so as to make a 
selection, but did not order for fear of getting 
something we would not relish, or entirely differ- 
ent from what we supposed, as did a traveling 

90 



acquaintance in Germany, who ordered what he 
supposed were strawberries, but got potatoes. We 
decided on macaroni, though we had eaten it in 
all the forms and disguises into which the Italians 
are capable of putting it. It came, and such a 
plate, or deckful. Mounted in tomatoes and other 
decorations, it was a beauty. My wife, as chaperon 
of the party, was requested to serve it. She had 
seen the natives tackle the job, and in her inno- 
cency thought she was as agile as they. She 
failed. How to get those long nursing tubes onto 
a plate was the trouble. In a fit of desperation 
she made hash of the lot and served it to us as 
best she could. We ate it, but not in due and 
ancient form. In trying to get the mess into our 
mouths, most of it went back to the plates, on the 
table, or floor. We earned by honest labor what 
we subsequently paid for in hard cash. It is an 
art to eat macaroni. The Italians have a knack of 
sticking a fork into the mass, rolling the fork over 
two or three times, when it goes into the mouth 
as slick as you please. No trouble whatever. We 
did not acquire the modus operandi. To my mind 
an easy way would be to throw it over a clothes 
line and eat upwards. It would not be aesthetic, 
but you'd get the macaroni. 

It was here Mary began to get in full swing at 
an expression she had practiced on shipboard, 
namely, "Don't." The word was always aimed 
at me, I must own. All through our journey, 

91 



when she could think of nothing else to say, she 
said "don't." She is not over the habit yet. If I 
had a centime for every time she hurled it at me, 
I'd be a man of wealth, and could support all her 
relations. It was omnipresent in her conversations. 
If you could not understand the word, you'd think 
she was talking a streak in Italian, or French. I 
paid no attention to it after a while, because I 
could always tell when it was coming in, or should 
do so. It is a useless word, so far as I am con- 
cerned, and tends to stifle freedom of action or 
speech. Somehow I cannot break her of the habit. 
She never uses it when I offer her a ten dollar 
note. Strange, is it not? 

I purchased a lot of beads in the Catacombs, 
said to have been blessed by the Holy Father, 
(they were by me several times before I reached 
home, but I used other formula than those pre- 
scribed by the Church.) I bought them as little 
remembrances to my truly apostolic patients. In 
order that they might be known as genuine, I 
had the monk put his "ne varietur" in the shape 
of a stamp on the lot. This cost a franc extra, 
and did the beads good. My only regret was that 
bone, and I shall never forgive the saint for his 
selfishness. Roman mosaics are sold in all the 
shops and by boys on the streets. All are dear in 
price. The Colosseum and St. Peter's are the fa- 
vorite designs. In St. Peter's there are few pic- 
tures, the ornamentation other than the tombs of 

92 



the Popes and Saints being the most exquisite 
copies in mosaic of the celebrated paintings and 
works of art in the Vatican galleries. We went 
through the factory, or studio of the Pope, where 
these magnificent copies are made. Some take a 
life-time in being put together, and are kept for 
the adornment of the great cathedral. Many are 
on sale, but the price of those I wanted was be- 
yond my means, and my wife did not wish to 
forego a Paris bonnet in order to indulge my 
aesthetic tastes. On thing I must mention. The 
bronze statute of St. Peter. It is of the 5th cen- 
tury and stands near the principal entrance. It 
is an object of adoration by the devout. As they 
pass by in line, each gives the right foot a wipe 
with his sleeve to remove the microbes, then 
presses his lips to it, and goes on a better man (it 
is to be hoped). Mary would not do it. She 
says she prefers to kiss a real live man, and on the 
lips. She does not wish to waste her sweetness 
on brass. She's right. I myself prefer living 
Madonnas to oil paintings. By this frequent 
osculation kept up daily for so many centuries, 
the toes are worn away as far back as the ball of 
the foot. I wonder where they have gone. I 
honor all men who respect and live up to their 
religious views, but I draw the line at Peter's toes. 
We left Rome at 8:20 a. m. arriving in Naples 
at 1:30 p. M. the same day. 



93 



CHAPTER VIIL 

NAPLES. POMPEII. 
"Vedi Napoli e poi mori." 

MAPLES is noted for its beggars and fleas, and 
celebrated for its bay and museum. The 
beggars comprise every blessed man in the city. 
The fleas began on Mary in Genoa. They know a 
good thing when they see it. We arrived at 13:30 
o'clock, which means 1:30 in the afternoon in 
civilized countries. After all, I do not know but 
this method of computing time is a good one, as 
you never get the morning a. m. mixed up with 
the afternoon p. m. 

We found quarters at the Victoria Hotel on the 
banks of the bay. The Island of Capri with its 
blue and green grottoes was before us, the moun- 
tain of St. Elmo at our right, Vesuvius at our left. 
The bay is the most beautiful in the world, there 
is no question about it. The water blue as indigo, 
the landscape clothed in vines, here and there a 
sail, everything is a picture, all a dream. 

After a good luncheon, we started out for a 
drive. We rode all over the city and up to the 
Convent of St. Martin, where we indulged in 
several samples of "Chartreuse." I liked it so 

94 



well, I would have brought the machinery for 
making it home, had it not been for the Raines 
Law. Near the end of the Strada di Piedigrotta^ 
which forms the Grotta Nuova di Posilipo, is the 
tomb of Virgil. The name of the monument is 
without satisfactory historical foundation, but 
probability and local tradition favor the presump- 
tion that it was Virgil's last resting place. I am 
glad I saw it. His assumed poetry made my life 
miserable in youth, and broke up many a game of 
ball. I have never used his Eclogues or Bucolics 
in my practice since I read them, so what good 
have they done me. 

Beggars are everywhere. They follow your 
carriage, cluster about you when you shop, and 
are only a trifle more bold than the tradesmen. 
Fleas are thicker than hair on a dog. They stick 
to you like leeches. We brought specimens into 
England — in our wraps. The National Mu- 
seum is one of the finest in the world, not sur- 
passed by the British Museum in London. It 
started as a cavalry barrack in 1588. Since 
1790 it has been fitted up for the reception 
of the royal collection of pictures and antiquities. 
Ferdinand ist, in 18 16, gave it the name of Muse 
Real Borbonico. Here are united the collections 
belonging to the crown, the Farnese collection 
from Rome and Parma, those of the Palaces of 
Portici and Capodimonte, and the excavated 
treasures of Herculaneum, Pompeii, Stabise and 

95 



Cumae. This whole now forms one of the finest 
collections in the world. The Pompeian antiqui- 
ties and objects of art in particular, as well as the 
bronzes from Herculaneum, are unrivalled. 
Within this museum is a "Sacred Room," to which 
gentlemen only are admitted. Modesty forbids 
describing it. I also saw here many surgical in- 
struments taken from the buried city of Pompeii, 
which were to me of great professional interest ; 
scalpels, forceps, specula and many other tools, 
much like our modern implements of medical 
and surgical warfare. Evidently the doctors of 
that date were in with the undertakers, as they 
are to-day. 

After dark we would walk along the border of 
the bay, toward Mt. Vesuvius, watching the lava 
in blood-red streams running down the sides. It 
was a beautiful sight. During the day the smoke 
could be seen lazily rising from the several craters 
near the summit. The whole thing looked just 
as it did in my old geography. I remember the 
picture well, at the lower corner of the right hand 
page. I hoped then to see it. I have. Would 
that all the dreams of boyhood days might end as 
happily. 

They have a queer way of doing business over 
here. When anything extraordinary is to take 
place, as a National Exhibition, Fair, Horse Trot, 
or an Eruption of Vesuvius, instead of trying to 
get a crowd to come by cutting down rates, car- 

96 



fares and reducing hotel prices, everything- goes 
up double. They say it is their innings, and they 
intend to make hay while the sun shines. They 
are correct as far as their exchequer is concerned, 
but it's outings for the visitors. I think Mary en- 
joyed the view of the bay more than any scenery 
while abroad. She kept her eye on it day and 
night, so it would not get away. Also on me. I 
give her credit for fine taste. It was great. The 
weather now became much warmer, though the 
days were clear and we had no rain of any account, 
not enough to interfere with our pleasures. 

Being so near to Pompeii, I decided to run over 
and take a look at what was left of it. By reason 
of the increased warmth, and as the whole journey 
over the buried city must be done on foot, Mary 
deemed it best to remain in Naples and allowed me 
to go with the Professor and his pretty sister. It 
was not long before I was gone with the sister and 
the Professor going alone. I was still unmarried 
and did not like to see so charming a girl neglected. 

Before retiring the night prior to going to 
Pompeii, Mary and I held a caucus as to future 
movements. We decided to go home by way of 
Lombardy, Switzerland, Bavaria, Austria, Ger- 
many, Holland, Belgium, France and England, 
after looking into one or two places remaining in 
Italy. We bought a few rembrances for friends 
the following day and considered all contracts 
closed. 

97 



POMPEII. 

l^OMPEii is very like a corpse at a funeral. The 
-1^ minister tells all about how good the dear 
departed has been, but says nothing of the remains 
in the front parlor. Leaving Naples at 8:20 in the 
morning, we reached the late lamented after a 
ride of an hour. As you step from the cars and 
follow the street, it reminds you of Coney Island. 
Booths, eating houses, ticket agents and souvenir 
peddlers, are at every point. We took luncheon, 
and after some discussion of the "whys and where- 
fores," decided not to ascend Vesuvius, as it was 
warm and the crust uncertain. Cook has a rail- 
way for about half the distance, the remaining 
ascent being made on foot, or on donkey back. It 
costs several dollars to do do it right, and you 
bring back nothing but tired legs, a strong smell 
of sulphur and the motto "I have been up." I 
could have told Mary that I had "been up" if the 
Professor and his sister had not been around, and 
she would have believed it, regarding me as a 
greater hero than ever. But I never lie, that is 
except to Mary. 

Pompeii is mentioned for the first time in his- 
tory, B. C, 310. Its monuments, however, prove 
it of much greater antiquity. After many vicis- 



situdes of war and earthquakes, it got knocked out 
in A. D. 6^,. It however revived, only to be over- 
taken by the final castrophe of August 24th, A. D. 
79. Showers of ashes and rapilli from the burn- 
ing mountain covered it to a depth of seven, or 
eight feet. The present superincumbent mass 
is about twenty feet in thickness, the result of 
subsequent eruptions. In 1748, the discovery of 
some statues and bronze utensils by a peasant, at- 
tracted the attention of Charles III, who caused 
excavations to be made. All this you can read in 
Baedeker, or other books. The town, if you call 
it one, has a museum and library supported by 
the goverment. Most of the moveable objects 
and frescoes have been removed to the museum 
at Naples ; many, however, are left and are worth 
seeing. The museum here contains much of in- 
terest, though nothing of artistic value. There 
are amphorae, vases, rainspouts, etc., in terra-cotta, 
vessels in bronze, carbonized articles of food, 
skulls and skeletons of men and animals. There 
are many interesting casts of bodies. Although 
the soft parts had decayed in course of time, their 
forms frequently remained imprinted on the 
ashes, which afterwards hardened. In 1863 
Fiorelli, made the ingenious experiment of care- 
fully removing the bones and filling the cavity 
with plaster, and he has succeeded in preserving 
the figures and attitudes of the deceased after 
their death-struggle. Among the figures are, a 



young girl with a ring on her finger, two women, 
one tall and elderly, the other younger. A man 
lying on his face, and one lying on his left side, 
with the features remarkably well preserved. 

The town was built in the form of an irregular 
ellipse. The excavated portion embraces not 
quite half, but probably the most important part 
of it. It includes the Forum with the contiguous 
temples and public buildings, two theatres with 
large colonnades, the ampitheater and a consider- 
able number of private dwellings more or less or- 
nate. The streets, bordered by sidewalks, are 
straight and narrow, being paved with large poly- 
gonal blocks of lava. At intervals, especially at 
the corners, are placed high stepping stones in- 
tended for the convenience of foot passengers in 
rainy weather. The chariot wheels have left deep 
ruts where traffic was most frequent. At the cor- 
ners are public fountains decorated with the head 
of a god, a phallus, a mask, or a similar ornament. 
Notices are frequently seen painted in red letters, 
referring to the election of the municipal officers, 
and recommending some particular individual as 
sedile, or duumvir. Stuccoed walls are often 
covered with roughly scratched drawings, resem- 
bling those with which our streets Arabs still de- 
light to decorate blank surfaces. What have been 
the busiest streets may be identified by means of 
the shops, which were let to merchants in the same 
way as the ground floors of the Palazzi in Naples 

ICO 



are occupied by the shops of the present day. 
These shops were generally in no way connected 
with the back part of the house, but presented 
their whole frontage to the street. Many of the 
shop tables, covered with marble, and not unfre- 
quently fitted up with large earthen vessels for 
the sale of wine, oil, etc., are still preserved. The 
great number of these affords proof of the import- 
ance of the retail trade at Pompeii. 

Where there are no shops, the streets are very 
monotonous. The absence of glass in the win- 
dows forms one of the chief differences between 
an ancient and a modern dwelling. The ancients 
concentrated their domestic life in the interiors, 
the houses presenting to the street a blank wall 
with as few openings as possible, and these covered 
with an iron grating. One of these gratings, the 
only one I think left, is still to be seen. It was in 
the second story. The dwelling houses vary 
greatly in size, and have obviously been very dif- 
ferently fitted up, in accordance with the nature 
of the situation, or the means and tastes of the 
owner. Most of the houses of the wealthy class 
are entered from the street by a narrow passage, 
which is surrounded by a covered one leading to 
the court, with the reservoir for rain-water in the 
center. The roof (I saw none) evidently sloped 
inwards for the purpose of admitting light and 
air to the court and adjoining rooms. On each 
side and sometimes in front were the bedrooms. 

lOI 



The front of the house was devoted to intercourse 
with the external world, and it was here the boss 
received his clients if a lawyer, his patients if a 
doctor, and the merchant transacted business. The 
center consisted of an open court or garden en- 
closed by columns. Around were situated the .sleep- 
ing and dining-rooms, the rooms for the slaves, 
kitchen, cellar, &c. Most of the apartments were 
very small, the family working and spending their 
time in the light and airy courts. The wall deco- 
rations in Pompeii lend it a peculiar charm. 
Marble is rarely met with in domestic architec- 
ture, and not often in the public works, the col- 
umns being constructed of tuffstone, or bricks. 
These bricks, like all the bricks of the ancients, 
are about an inch thick, four inches wide and a 
foot long. The walls and columns were then 
covered with stucco and painted. The lower 
halves are generally red, or yellow, the capitals 
tastefully colored. The walls, where they are 
undecorated, are painted with bright and almost 
glaring colors, chiefly red and yellow, harmo- 
nizing with the brilliancy of the southern sun. 
The center of the walls is generally occupied by 
a painting unconnected with the others. The 
best have been removed to the Museum at Naples, 
to protect them from the exposure to the weather. 
The scenes present a soft, erotic character corres- 
ponding to the peaceful and pleasure-seeking taste 
of the age. I wished I had lived there. 

I02 



CHAPTER IX. 

FLORENCE. 
"Thou art the garden of the world, the home of all Art yields." 

T^pr^JTE always traveled on Sunday, when the 
\Md, rides were to be long ; not that we were 
irreligious, (Mary is an Episcopalian, and I belong 
to all the churches, including the Masons, Odd 
Fellows, Knights of Pythias, Royal Arcanum and 
some others,) but because the entrance fee to all 
museums and galleries is abolished on that day, 
so the poorest may enjoy their priceless treasures. 
This gives rise to crowds, and is unpleasant when 
you wish solitude to gaze upon and think over 
relics and works of art. Another reason, it gave 
us Monday to ride about, as that was "cleaning 
day" after the crowd of visitors of the day before. 
Leo has written an apotheosis of Florence, 
which it would ill become me to attempt to im- 
prove. He says : " . . . . Like a water lily, rising 
on the mirror of the lake, so rests this lovely 
ground, the still more lovely Florence, with its 
everlasting works, and its inexhaustible riches. 
From the bold, airy tower of the palace, rising 
like a slender mast, to Brunelleschi's wondrous 

103 



dome of the Cathedral ; from the old house of 
the Spini, to the Pitti palace, the most imposing 
the world has ever seen ; from the garden of the 
Franciscan convent, to the beautiful environs of 
the Casine, all are full of incomparable grace. 
Each street of Florence contains a world of art : 
the walls of the city are the calyx containing the 
fairest flowers of the human mind — and this is 
but the richest gem in the diadem with which 
the Italian people have adorned the earth." 

Dante Alighieri really made the place, by being 
born here in 1265. You will remember he wrote 
"The Divine Comedy" and founded the Italian 
language ; this latter was the worst thing he did. 
Boccaccio boarded in it, and a lot of other notables 
in Florentine history. Among the most distin- 
guished was the family of the Medici, whose bril- 
liant court has never been equaled. The history 
of Florence and Florentine art is one of greatest 
interest, and should be studied by all who expect 
to go there, if not as a part of a liberal education. 
I cannot tell you all we saw. Read the following 
books, and you will know what Florence holds, 
gems that no other place on earth contains. 

"Walks in Florence," by the Misses Horner. 
"Tuscan Cities" and "A Florentine Mosaic," by 
W. D. Howell's. Hare's "Florence." Ruskin's 
"Mornings in Florence." "Romola," by George 
Eliot. Mrs. Oliphant's "Makers of Florence." 
"Echoes of Old Florence," by Leader Scott. "The 

104 



First Two Centuries of Florence," by Professor 
Pasquale Villare, and last but not least, "Baede- 
ker's Northern Italy." 

The Chief attractions are the Piazza della Sig- 
noria, with the Palazzo Vecchio, where Savonarola 
was burned, May 23rd, 1498, and the Loggia dei 
Lanzi, the Galleria degli Uffizi, the Piazza dei 
Duomo, with the Cathedral and Campinile, the 
unrivalled work of Giotto, the Baptistery, and its 
"Gates of Paradise," the churches of Carmine, 
S. Cruce, in which are the tombs of Michael 
Angelo and Galileo ; S. Lorenzo, S. Maria Novello, 
Annuziata, S. Spirito, the Monastery of St. Marco, 
where is the cell in which Savonarola lived. Then 
the Pitti Palace and the Boboli Gardens, the 
Academy and the National Museum, Dante's and 
Galileo's and Michael Angelo's homes, a thousand 
objects of interest, all ever new, all fraught with 
beauty and pleasure. Florence is a quarry, from 
which treasures may be dug such as the world 
will never see again. To write about, or mention 
one-tenth of all we saw, the beautiful frescoes, 
the paintings, handiworks of the greatest geniuses 
the world has produced, the stained glass in the 
windows of the grand cathedrals and churches, 
through which the Italian sun pours its beams 
with a celestial glory, statuary, the buildings, 
the everything that makes Florence what it is, 
would, it seems to me, take a life-time. It can 
only be appreciated by touching it. 

105 



We were fortunate in having a letter of intro- 
duction to an artist, a Cuban gentlemen, who had 
resided in the city for many years. By his kind- 
ness and thorough knowledge of all that was 
worth seeing, we accomplished in our brief visit 
more than we otherwise could have done in a 
much longer stay. If one spot is to be selected 
as containing the master pieces of ancient sculp- 
ture and modern painting, it is the ''Tribuna" in 
the Ufiizi Gallery. In the center are five cele- 
brated marbles ; The Satyr, by Michael Angelo ; 
a group of Wrestlers ; The Medici Venus, found 
at Rome in 1680 ; The Grinder, whetting his knife 
to slay Marsayas, also found at Rome in the i6th 
century ; and an ApoUino, or young Apollo. 
Paintings by the hands of Raphael, Titian, Paul 
Veronese, Durer, Perigino, Michael Angelo and 
others, are hung about the walls ; names that 
have become as familiar as household words in 
the world of art and beauty. In all the galleries, 
artists, or students are at work, copying the great 
productions of the masters. Some are so beauti- 
fully done none but a connoisseur could dis- 
cern between them and the original. These 
copies may be bought at very reasonable prices. 
All students of art are allowed to paint in the gal- 
leries, after complying with certain prerequisites. 

Of the city of which I should say much, I can 
say but little. I have not the pen of a poet, nor 
the descriptive power of an artist. "Beggar that 

106 



I am, I am even poor in words," to tell of all we 
saw and enjoyed in this delightftil spot. Memo- 
ries of others may fade, but Florence is locked 
within the strong towers of my heart. 

Florence ranks with Rome, Naples and Venice 
in its many attractions. Lying on both banks of 
the Arno, it is "beautiful of situation and alto- 
gether lovely." We left it with regret, I with 
more than regret, for here I parted with the 
"pretty sister," and have not received a letter, or 
a photograph from her since. My wife has, but 
in it the '"sister" makes no particular or special 
mention of me, other than to say, to be remem- 
bered. Thus another of my idols is shattered. 
I'll look about, however, for a new one. I shall 
call her Florence henceforth, for to my memory 
she brings back so many pleasures and so much 
of art. I have insinuated to Mary it would be 
the proper thing to invite her to visit us, but she 
doesn't enthuse much. I wonder why it is ? 



107 



CHAPTER X. 

VENICE. 
"She that was fair, and never proud." 

E made many stops at various places en 
route between the Capitals, a history of 
which is of no special interest to the reader of this 
book. They were merely rests in our journey. 
They contained much to excite our admiration 
and added to our enjoyment. At Bologna, we 
ran into an Embassy from Chili, South America. 
The Valet to his Royal Nibs the Ambassador, had 
become all mixed up with the guards of the train. 
The trainmen could not speak Spanish, and the 
Valet could not understand Italian. I straightened 
out matters to the satisfaction of all, by my 
knowledge of Castillian. Speaking of languages, 
I was longing for the time when we should reacti 
Germany, as I thought there I should be at home 
as far as the lingo was concerned. I made a 
slight mistake, or over-rated my abilities. I can 
speak German, that is to a reasonable extent, or as 
long as a native confines himself to an unabridged 
dictionary, but when he hurls a university at me I 
fail at times to comprehend his entire meaning. 
German in Germany, is somewhat different from 

io8 



the dialect spoken in the beer saloons of my town. 
It runs together more and gets over the ground 
faster. I always made them think I understood 
them, and when Mary asked for a translation, I 
told her what seemed best fitted to the circum- 
stances. It did no harm and she was satisfied. 
She is a great admirer of linguistic attainments 
and wishes to take lessons of me. My rates, how- 
ever, are too high. I have advised her to go to a 
kindergarten, or she might visit the Professor. 
The "sister" may visit me in her absence. 

Venice has no trotting circuit. It is said there 
is but a single horse in the livery, and that is 
only shown on state occasions. It is a poor place 
for bicycles, you are obliged to dismount so often, 
Venice is a spot in which to love and linger. I 
could have hugged a door post, if Mary would not 
have been jealous. We arrived at 2:10 P. M., hav- 
ing left Florence at 6:10 in the morning. We 
were met at the station by a Gondola, (pronounced, 
Gzindola, the accent on the Gun,) and taken to the 
Grand Hotel by way of the Grand Canal. I might 
say every thing was grand while we were here. 
The sensations were novel, especially to Mary. 
The gondola was a dwarfed approach to the ship, 
only there was no smoke-room. We were asked 
not to forget the poor gondolier ; we did not, we 
gave him some of the chicken feed. Whenever 
the gondola starts from a pier, or lands at a door- 
step, a lot of beggars are around holding long 

109 



poles with a hook on the end to steady the boat 
when you get in, or disembark. It is their pro- 
fession, and from the exercise of it they get money, 
(enormous sums I presume,) and in the course of 
time have enough to build a Palazzio. Land 
must be cheap, as there is none. It is a queer 
place, full of history, Byron and Browning. I 
saw no Moors, no Desdemonas. Merchants more 
than sufficient. They are the same rascals, almost 
as bad as those at Gibraltar, and that is savin<y a 
great deal. They never let you out after entering 
their shops, and you can make the price before 
leaving, they'll take it. I have perfect confidence 
they would take anything — even a man's charac- 
ter. One day I saw a pipe in a shop window 
that caught my fancy, I went in to enquire the 
price, which the salesman told me was seven dol- 
lars. I offered him eighty cents and got the 
pipe. This is what they consider good business. 
The city is built chiefly on piles, being six and 
a half miles in circumference, standing on 117 
small islands formed by 150 canals, and con- 
nected by 378 bridges. How's that ? Among the 
houses and at what seems to be the rear, extends 
a labyrinth of lanes paved with stone, brick, or 
asphalt, and alive with picturesque and busy 
throngs. It is possible to walk over the entire 
city by means of these passages, some of which 
are too narrow to be called even lanes. They 
are simply cracks between the buildings. 

no 



Our first ambition was to take a sail, or row, 
or whatever you clioose to call it. You stand on 
the steps of your residence and call out "Poppi." 
A boat starts toward you at once. They are like 
all you see in the picture books, some more ornate 
than others, some open, some with little cabins or 
canopies. The engines are different from those 
you see in the Opera. They wear no gold belts, 
or plumes, or velvet coats. Most are in their 
shirt-sleeves, and the rest of their attire is third- 
hand. They stand at the stern holding a long 
oar, which is locked into the stump of an old tree, 
(that is what it looks like.) If you want to waste 
money, you may have two of these propellers, one 
however, unless there is much wind, being suffi- 
cient. These oarsmen are very expert, turning 
corners and passing other craft so closely, it would 
seem as if a sheet of writing paper could not be 
placed between, yet they never foul, or meet with 
any accident. The speed is ancient. So much 
so, that steam propellers have been placed on the 
streets (?) to enable men of business to reach their 
offices sooner. This permits them to lie in bed 
longer in the morning, a very wise and healthful 
habit. It spoils the poetry of the scene, however. 
Every day, almost every hour we sailed, for it was 
the only way in which we could get about in com- 
fort. Sometimes we walked through the lanes, 
just to keep our legs in practice, but the going 
over so many bridges was tiresome. You go up 

III 



half a dozen stops, then over the platform, then 
down. In about every forty feet you do the act 
again. This goes on as long as you walk. 

The center of attraction is the Piazza of St. 
Mark. Here are the steps arranged along each 
side, where all sorts of merchandise are sold 
(generally yourself in the bargain) at the most 
extravagant prices. Here you feed the pigeons 
which swarm in thousands about you, alighting on 
your head and shoulders, showing no fear. None 
is allowed to be killed. They soil everything, 
and were a nuisance, though a pretty sight. Ro- 
mantic young people, newly wedded couples in 
particular, are frequently photographed with the 
doves clustering about them. It looks pretty, but 
does not disclose their sweet relationships at home. 

The church of St. Mark, the tutelary saint of 
Venice, and whose bones are said to have been 
brought here from Alexandria in 829, is the great 
building. It is decorated with lavish and almost 
Oriental magnificence. It is in the shape of a 
Greek cross, covered with Byzantine domes in the 
center and at the end of each arm, smaller ones 
at other points. Externally and internally it is 
adorned with 500 marble columns, mostly Orien- 
tal, with capitals in an exuberant variety of styles. 
The interior is profusely decorated with gilding, 
bronze and Oriental marble. In front are the 
four Horses, which probably once stood upon the 
triumphal arch of Nero, and afterwards on that 

112 



al 



of Trajan at Rome. The}^ have traveled quite a 
little, Constantine having sent them to Constanti- 
nople, whence the Doge Dandolo brought them 
to A/'enice. Napoleon took them to Paris, but 
they were returned by Emperor Francis. The 
mosaics, both on the exterior and in the interior, 
are magnificent. 

Opposite St. Marco is the Campanille. The 
Clock Tower is on the opposite side. The Li- 
brary building consists of a double colonnade of 
arches and embedded columns. Farther on, are 
the two granite pillars erected in i i8o. One bears 
the Winged Lion of St. Mark, the other St. 
Theodore on a crocodile. Between these two 
columns, executions took place in the olden time. 

The palace of the Doges, founded in 800, is a 
remarkable building. It is decorated with foliage, 
figures of men and animals. A richly ornamented 
flight of stairs, called the Giants Staircase, (Scala dei 
Giante) derives its name from the colossal statues 
of Mars and Neptune at the top. These stairs 
lead to the entrance of the Palace. The interior 
of the palace is filled with paintings by Paul 
Veronese, Titian, Tintoretto and others equall}^ 
celebrated. On the end of one of the galleries, 
is frescoed the largest painting in the world. It 
is called Tintoretto's ^Paradise. The number of 
figures is bewildering, many of the heads said to 
be admirable portraits. Another picture of in- 
terest is a "Last Judgment" by Pal ma Giovane 

113 



with portraits of his wife in Heaven, Purgatory 
and Hell. She may have deserved all three. The 
Bridg-e of Sig:hs which connects the Palace of the 
Doges with the Prison, is always regarded with 
much sentiment. It is a waste of good material. 
Howells says, "It has probably never been crossed 
by any prisoner whose name is worth remem- 
bering, or whose fate deserves our sympathy." 
He never met me, I'm married. The Academy 
is another fine structure. It contains much of 
interest in the way of furniture, paintings and 
sculptures. The Grand Canal is lined with 
palaces and celebrated buildings, centuries old, 
and innumerable churches dedicated to various 
Saints all adorned with statuary, paintings, mo- 
saics and works of art beyond compare. The 
house occupied by Byron in 1818, the home of 
Browning, and others of greater or less note. 
The Rialto crosses it midway between the Custom 
House and the railway station. It is flanked by 
shops, and looks as it always appears in the pho- 
tographs, Shakespeare speaks of the Rialto in 
the Merchant of Venice, but it was not the bridge 
to which he referred, but the district, as the 
Rialto was the site of the ancient city of Venice. 
Our evenings we would spend on the Piazza of 
St. Mark, listening to the music, sitting at little 
tables under the clear, full moon, which shone at 
its brightest for us, drinking light wines, or eat- 
ing ices, or we would sail along the canals, out to 

114 



the Adriatic, too enraptured by the beauty around 
us to talk. Everywhere, after the sun had gone 
down, there was music. Gondola after gondola 
passed to and fro, decked with colored lanterns, 
the occupants singing, or playing on instruments, 
the flute, the violin, or the guitar, all making merry 
under the glorious light, a sort of Fairy land, a 
living Opera, an ever-changing panorama, beau- 
tiful beyond description. There came over us a 
feeling, as if we could never break the silken 
bands that held us here. 

One afternoon we spent at Lido, half an hour 
away by gondola. It is the watering place of 
Venice, and from it may be obtained an excellent 
view of the old town. The beach is fine, and 
many were enjoying bathing in the surf. I saw 
a number of Venetian belles indulging, and 
wanted to go in so I might save their lives if they 
went beyond their depth. Mary would not allow 
me. She doesn't appear to realize my mission 
is to save life. Like every other spot in Italy, 
Lido has churches galore, belonging to the Saints, 
filled with pictures and relics. We did not buy any. 

While we were here an American Man of War 
came into the harbor. I mxUSt say I felt my oats. 
We met the commanding officer while we were 
out for a walk, that is, in the way they walk in 
Venice, sailing along in the ship's gig, manned by 
hardy American Tars. Never to me did the flag 
appear so beautiful, flying full length at the stern. 

115 



I doffed my hat, Mary waved her handkerchief, 
and the Officer who was accompanied by what 
evidently was the American representative at 
this post, returned the salute. I felt safer that 
night, and proud. I could have thrashed the 
whole blasted nation, Mary into the bargain, 
though she is larger than I. At the Grand Hotel 
where we had our rooms, we ate in what was said 
to have been one of the apartments of Desde- 
mona. Whether her bed-room, or parlor I know 
not. It was very gaudy and as lonesome as any 
such place in a foreign hotel. I often wished 
Des was there. I could have got along without 
Mary, for one meal at least. 

As I was walking through the Grand Hallway 
of the hotel one evening, I was suddenly brought 
to a standstill by a slap on the back. 1 thought 
it was Mary. Immediately after came the saluta- 
tion "Hello, Doc !" I turned and found one of my 
fellow pill-peddlers, much younger than I, once a 
resident of my city. We revived old times and 
absent friends at the proper counter, and resolved 
to see each other later. We did, several times. 
It only goes to show how well I am known all 
over the world, or how small the earth is. 

Of course Mary dragged me into all the lace 
factories, paid double for little handkerchiefs, 
with no spot on which to blow the nose, "showers," 
not "blowers," bought a lot of dress-goods I could 
have packed into my pockets, and which cost a 

ii6 



small bank, and then gave them away on arrival 
home. This is the penalty we men pay for what 
is called "Love." It will be a dead loss to her if 
she keeps on, as life insurance premiums will be 
passed and policies will lapse. I only purchased 
a few photographs and some bier. 



117 



CHAPTER XI. 

MILAN. 
"His neck erect amid his circling spires." 

l^ ROM Venice we went to Milan. I wanted to 
-i^ stop at Padua to get some fiddle-strings, and 
at Verona to see the two gentlemen of whom 
Shakespeare speaks, but Mary was opposed, so as 
usual I let her have her way. The ride was full 
of interest, of ever-changing scenes, all new and 
of a character different from any we had thus far 
seen. We were at the border of the Alps, at its 
feet, and the contour of the country began to par- 
take largely of mountainous formation. Thus far 
we had enjoyed none but the finest weather, not 
too hot, with a few days of rain, only mere 
showers, just enough to lay the dust and cool the 
atmosphere. The days seemed very long, not 
tedious, as twilight lingered late into the night, 
so that at ten o'clock it was bright enough to read 
without the use of candles. It is certainly. not so 
at home, and I shall ask the Professor the reason 
when next we meet. Our hotel was in the Piazza 
del Duomo, the focus of commercial and public 
life. Here is the great Cathedral, the eighth 

ii8 



wonder of the world, and the largest excepting 
that at Sevilla, in Spain, and St. Peter's at Rome. 
It is built entirely of marble, roof and all, and is 
adorned with upwards of 4500 statues and 98 
turrets. The stained glass windows in the Choir 
are said to be the largest in existence. The dome 
is 220 feet above the pavement, and the tower 360 
feet above the ground. We took a long walk in 
the evening, looking in at the shops and wishing 
our letter of credit were heavier. In the morning 
immediately after breakfast I went to the Cathe- 
dral, intending to go to the top. Mary did not 
care to undertake the lofty ascent of 194 steps in- 
side, and 300 outside the edifice in order to reach 
the summit. There was no "lift." I secured a 
guide and went up. The view beggars descrip- 
tion. To the left (S. W.) was Monte Viso, then 
Mount Cenis, lower down the Superga near 
Turin ; Mount Blanc, Great St. Bernard and 
Monte Rosa ; then the Materhorn, then Cima de 
Jazzi, Stalhorn and Mischabel. To the North- 
west, Mount Leone, and the Bernese Alps. At the 
North, the summits of St. Gotthard and Splugen. 
In the East, the Ortler. South, the Certosa of 
Pavia, in the back ground the Apennines. It was 
a beautiful clear morning, and the sky without a 
cloud. On the roof I met a family holding what 
we call a pic-nic. The guide told me they were 
there for the day, and that it was a frequent resort 
(the roof) for such outings. The only real loss 

119 



I sustained during my entire journey occurred 
here. I lost one of my gold sleeve buttons some- 
where in or on the church. Its disappearance was 
not discovered until my return to the hotel. I 
did not go back to look for it. Steps and Italian 
robbers being too much in favor of my not seeing 
it again. 

The interior of the Cathedral is supported by 
52 pillars, each 12 feet in diameter, adorned with 
canopied niches with statues instead of capitals. 
The pavement is of mosaic, in marble of different 
colors. In the treasury is the mumified body of 
St. Borromeo, dressed in his Bishop's robes. 
It cost me a dollar, American money, to see 
him. Milan has eighty churches, enough to 
make the populace better than they are. Many 
of these houses of worship are very cele- 
brated. All are filled with the usual pictures 
of Saints, Madonnas, Crucifixions, Resurrec- 
tions, and what nots. Nearly all are of the 
Catholic persuasion. Here, as elsewhere, the ar- 
rangement for the stockholders differs from our 
own, especially in the larger ones. There are no 
pews, or cushioned seats, or foot-stools, or any such 
conveniences for a nap during the service. 
Benches or chairs which may be removed at will, 
are placed in the main aisle. Often there are 
none at all. You stand around, or kneel on the 
bare floor. All the collections appear to be 
wasted on ornamentation, or buying a picture, or 

120 



statue of a new saint. I think it would be more 
christian to pay the minister, and get comfortable 
seats for the sinners. Everywhere about are lit- 
tle altars, or stations, dedicated to some particular 
Virgin, and at which service is held on cer- 
tain hours, or days. You enter a church, walk 
about, see the entire museum, while the religious 
performance is going on at the same time at one 
of these little altars. As a rule no admission fee 
is charged. You give something in the shape of 
money to some one anyhow, even if it is only to the 
decrepit old woman, who holds back the heavy 
leather curtain at the entrance, as there are no 
doors. We went to lots of them and wasted our 
liras. Perhaps I may see some benefit to Mary 
after so much devotion. The period of incuba- 
tion, however, is long. 

One of the most interesting of the churches is 
S. Maria delle Grazie, founded in the 15th century 
and attributed to Bramante. It contains frescoes by 
Ferrari, In the old monestary, is the famous 
"Last Supper" by Leonardo da Vinci. This 
painting is fast showing the ravages of time, and 
is now nearly obliterated. It was painted in 1499. 
Many copies of the original are in the same room, 
made by celebrated artists, to facilitate the study 
of the work. There are in the city many chari- 
table institutions, museums, palaces, theaters, 
gates and public works. 



121 



La Scala Theater, built in 1778, after a design 
of Piermarine, has the largest stage in the world, 
and on it some of the greatest lyric artists have 
made their debut. I went all over it, into the 
boxes, royal and plebian ; into the seats, and re- 
cited what I knew of the Declaration of Inde- 
pendence on the stage. 

The Galleria Vittorio Emanuel was directly 
opposite our hotel. It is in the shape of a Latin 
cross, covered with glass, and above the center a 
cupola. It is the largest in the world and beauti- 
fully decorated, filled with statuary, while all 
about are shops for the wSale of everything, from a 
toothpick to a shoe lace. It opens into the plaza 
where La Scala is situated. Mary could not resist 
temptation, so bought a watch that she might 
know what time I recahed home when in Paris. 
I see no other reason for the purchase. 

The streets of Milan are built to be used. Most 
of them have laid on either side near the sidewalk 
two flag stones, two feet in breadth, and between 
them small cobbles. This enables the vehicle to 
run on a smooth surface, while the horse has a 
firm foot-hold on the pathway in the center. Most 
of the wagons are for single horses. I wrote 
home to our Commissioners of Public Works, as 
new pavement for our streets was to be put down, 
giving them this idea (no charge), but they did 
not take to it. They, like many others, have 



122 



mucli to learn. Next door to our Hostlery was a 
glove shop, with a pretty girl in attendance. I 
told Mary I needed gloves. She said I had a 
sufficient number of pairs in the bag. She, how- 
ever, went in and let the darling squeeze her 
hand and fit a pair. All I got out of it was the 
bill. I am going to Europe alone next time. 

As the King was to unveil a statue of Victor 
Emanuel in the Piazza del Duomo, immediately 
in front of the Cathedral and almost at our very 
door, we decided to get away a day earlier 
than anticipated, fearing the crowd and general 
rumpus attendant on such an event. Then, too, 
Mary might get lost. 

The square had been fitted up for the Royal 
Family with booths, seats, flags and other decora- 
tions, suited to the occasion. We saw the monu- 
ment as it was being covered with the white sail- 
cloth, which was to be removed by the hand of 
the ruling Monarch at the proper time. I thought 
there were already a sufficient number of these 
"Forget-me-nots" in the city, but they have a 
mania, all over Europe, as soon as a man of any 
distinction dies to honor his memory with a big 
obelisk in some form. They have greatness 
thrust upon the m^fter death, if they did not de- 
serve it in life. I wonder if they know it, and 
appreciate the devotion and how much it costs 
in money, time and fuss? Fd like mine put up 



123 



while I am alive. It would be more satisfactory. 
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes says : 

"Isn't it a pity, a fellow can't hear what is said 
About a fellow, when a fellow's dead ?" 

From some of the obituary notices I have read 
of men I knew in life, I have been sorry I was not 
aware how many virtues they possessed. They 
write up as angels. I sometimes have a different 
opinion, but never express it to the family of the 
deceased. 

The Cemetery is one of the most beautiful in 
the world, almost as beautiful as the Campo Santo 
at Genoa. It is filled with Mausoleums, of the 
purest marble, and decorated by art in every 
conceivable shape and manner. Statuary is not 
so abundant as at Genoa, but the vaults are models 
of the sculpture's genius. 



124 



CHAPTER XIL 

LUCERNE. 
"Loveliest valley of the plain." 

"p NEVER was greatly entranced by Natural 
^ Scenery. Perhaps the fact has been due to 
the limited opportunities I have had of studying 
it. I prefer Archaeology, Post-mortems, Coro- 
ners' Inquests and Railroad Accidents. Mary 
dotes on it. She spends half her time at home, 
looking out the back windows into the gardens of 
her neighbors, counting their chickens, and ash- 
piles, or watching the Health Board wagon gather 
up the refuse. Mary and I held a full hand, with 
both bowers, in our ride from Milan to Lucerne. 
I own up, much has been lost to me in not inves- 
tigating the subject. I know a limited amount of 
geology, and work now and then on the lawn, 
when the coachman and gardener, my alter ego, 
is otherwise em_ployed. I am careful not to do 
too much, especially with the mower, as over-rest 
in my alter ego's anatomical contrivance tends to 
apoplexy. I hire him by the month, and want to 
get full value. 

We arrived at Lucerne in the evening, (7:30) 
just as _the sun began to sink behind the great 

125 



mountain tops, gilding the snow and ice upon the 
great heights, making them look as if crowned 
with o-old. I shall never foro^et that afternoon. 
By means of an additional souvenir to the guard, 
we secured an observation car. It consisted of 
the same units as other cars, with the excep- 
tion that on one side was a platform, three or four 
feet wide, with a railing around, so that by step- 
ping from the compartment you were on the main 
deck and could look all about you. It gave a 
larger horizon, and rested your legs. I must refer 
you to some book of travel to describe the royal 
magnificence of the scenery that greeted us as we 
wended our way along the Alps to our destina- 
tion. Great mountains on each side, here and 
there a Pass, now over a running river, made 
from the melted snows of far-off hills. The spot 
where the gallant little band of Swiss held their 
own with Spartan courage against the Austrians, 
little huts and hamlets, gardens rich in every 
kind of fruit and flower and herb, exhaling their 
sweetness on the air. Now down into a valley, 
then along the banks of a stream, then climbing 
to a higher plain, all painted by the hand of na- 
ture, more beautiful than the works of man, more 
glorious than any art. As we rode on we would 
catch sight of a little chapel, away up among the 
fleecy clouds. After a few moments it was at our 
side, and we could look within the doors ; then we 
bade it farewell, as we looked down upon it deep 

126 



in the valley beneath, we mounting upward and 
onward. By the lakes of Como, Lugano and 
Marjiore we sped, diamonds in an emerald setting, 
sheets of water dotted here and there with vil- 
lages at the feet of the great mountains, the 
mountains holding them and the sweet waters, as 
it were in the palms of their mighty hands. How 
beautiful they were ! 

We went through the great St. Gotthard tunnel, 
nine and a half miles long and twenty-eight feet 
wide and twenty-one feet high. It has a double 
track, is pitch dark, and becomes filled with 
smoke in the transit. There are lanterns on 
either side, but they serve no useful purpose. All 
the windows are ordered to be closed on entering 
and the guard generally does it for you. I was 
so interested in the scenery I forgot it. The 
guard smelt the mistake, and came in and did it 
for me, at the same time calling the windows bad 
names, and using language I presumed was in- 
tended for the benefit of the tunnel. That is 
what I supposed he was saying from the excited 
manner of his tongue. 

We passed through many Swiss villages, stop- 
ping now and then for refreshments, or to add 
another locomotive as the ascent grew more and 
more abrupt. At Fluelen we took the boat and 
sailed the entire length of the lake of the Four 
Cantons, often called Lake Lucerne. Just before 
reaching Fluelen we stopped at Altdorf, which 

127 



figures so conspicuously in the story of William 
Tell. Here Gessler ruled, and here the famous 
cross-bow man's arrow pierced the apple with a 
well-directed aim. A fountain now stands where 
the boy was bound. As we sailed onward to our 
destination, we passed or landed at many places 
of historic interest. Tell's Chapel was one of 
them. Here Tell escaped from the boat in which 
Gessler was carrying him to prison. 

Then came Sisikon, then Bruneen. Beneath 
the Crags at our left is the Rutli, the most sacred 
spot in Switzerland. Here on the 7th of Novem- 
ber, 1307, was formed the league against the ty- 
rannous rule of Austria. It is a national place of 
pilgrimage, and is much frequented by societies 
and schools. At this point a crowd of children came 
aboard with their teachers, evidently a Sunday 
School excursion. They sang the entire way to 
Lucerne. The tune they seemed most to enjoy 
was what we call "America." I did not know 
the words, or what they were singing about, but 
joined in and helped out the chorus. They clus- 
tered about me as soon as they heard me singing, 
and I told them how I had a Sunday School Class 
at home in far off America, and lots of other things 
they did not understand, to match the conundrums 
their teachers gave them, and which wise adults 
cannot solve. Treib came next, with its old 
wooden inn, near to which is a pyramidal rock 85 
feet in height, known as the "Mythenstein." It 

128 



bears an inscription in honor of Schiller. In 
rapid succession are seen Gersau, Beckenreid, 
Bouchs, Vitznau, Weggis and at last Lucerne. 

The steamers are much like those on the 
Thames, The captain was a big fellow, with 
more abdomen than anything else. His uniform 
outshone that of an American Admiral, and his 
voice sounded like a clap of thunder, as he shout- 
ed some unintellible gibberish down the tubes to 
the engineer. They do not use bells to communi- 
cate with the engine room, but yell out what is 
wanted. I could have understood the language 
of bells much better. The steering wheel lies 
flat, that is with its edge to the sides of the boat, 
not the plane of its greater surface toward the 
rail as with us. Two, or three men work at 
it. I enquired why they had it so, and received 
for an answer "they always had it so," They 
expect to change soon. It was the same on the 
Rhine boats. 

It is of no earthly use to try to impart by words 
even a part of the beauty through which we pass- 
ed this day. I could not, if I knew how. Many 
have attempted to do it. I have read their glow- 
ing descriptions, but they sound as idle tales. 
How great, sometimes, is the poverty of language. 
We met in our car during the journey a most in- 
telligent English lady who had been a resident 
in and about this part of Lombardy, and Switzer- 
land for many years. Her explanations and 

129 



knowledge added much to our enjoyment. I 
only wish I could see a way to thank her in this 
book. We did not offer her money as she was 
"to the manor born." 

Lucerne is situated in the heart of Switzer- 
land, and is the point to which all who travel con- 
verge. Once it was not as now. In the early 
days, when mountains, rivers and lakes were re- 
garded with feelings of terror, a little assemblage 
of fishermen's huts stood on the banks of the 
Reuss. Its first important event was the founding 
of the convent of St. Leodegar about the year 
735 whence the name of Lucerne is said to 
have been derived. When the peasantry in i 332 
concluded the alliance out of which grew the 
Swiss Republic, its history was that of Lucerne. 
At the time of the Reformation, it remained true 
to the faith of its fathers, and still maintains its 
reputation as one of the strongholds of the Catholic 
faith in Switzerland. Its situation is wonderfully 
picturesque. On one side stands Rigi, on the 
other Pilatus, and between them the gleaming 
expanse of the Lake of the Four Cantons, with 
the snow range of the Alps beyond. 

Our hotel, "The Beau-Rivage," was admirably 
situated on the border of the lake, Rigi, before us, 
Pilatus at our right. In front was the Quai Na- 
tional and a summer garden, where each after- 
noon an orchestra played, the music of which 
could be plainly heard in our apartments. It was 

130 



a most excellent hotel, and I advise any who visit 
Lucerne to take their body and traps there. Here, 
as elsewhere among the Alps, is much to cause 
wonderment and surprise. It would be impossible 
for me to enumerate every place and spot of in- 
terest. There is the Post and Telegraph building, 
a fine edifice. The Hofkirche of St. Leodegar, is 
the principal church in the city. You enter it by 
a long flight of stone steps. It is full of history. 
The Choir stalls are beautifully carved, the 
wrought iron screens and baptistery being 
works of consummate art. On the side altar, 
are wood carvings dating back to the 15th 
century. Then a magnificent organ, which I 
had the pleasure of hearing, more by accident 
han by design. I am told it has 90 registers, 
and the Vox-humana and Vox-angelica enchant 
every lover of music. Concerts are given 
here every evening of the week. Behind the 
church is the ancient grave yard, surrounded by 
an arcade. To the North, in a romantic nook is 
the "Lion of Lucerne," sculptured by Ahorn, in 
1 82 1, after a model of Thorwaldsen, cut in the 
solid rock. In speaking to my son-in-law regar- 
ing it, he asked "out of what else could they have 
cut it?" He is in the rubber manufacturing 
business. Desiring to compliment him I sug- 
gested, had he been on earth, they might have 
made it out of some of his stock. He replied, 
he made "rubber to sell, not to last." They were 

131 



wise to have it made early. Had he been in the 
world he might have taken the contract for the 
job, and where would it have been now? About 
the monument we read the simple legend, 
"■Helvitioruin fidei ac vh'tiitc,'' together with the 
names of fallen officers. It is commemorative of 
the struggle with the French, Aug. loth and 
Sept. 2nd and 3rd, 1792. Close to the monument 
stands the Chapelle Expiatoire bearing the in- 
scription '"Invictus Pax." In the Museum, I saw 
many relics of the Lake Dwellers, their cloth, 
food, implements of art, war and industry, all la- 
den with thought to those who are interested 
in the evolution of man. Beyond is the Glacier 
Garden, discovered by accident in 1872. Here 
are the "pot-holes" made by the waters of the 
glacier ages ago. Over the river Reuss is the 
old roofed wooden bridge the "Kapellbrucke," 
dating from 1333. It reminds one of the time 
when the town did not possess a single house of 
stone. That was, when Lucerne was known 
under the sobriquet of "the wooden stork's nest." 
In the one hundred and twenty-one triangular 
paintings, placed at regular intervals beneath the 
roof, the old Lucerners have celebrated the heroic 
deeds of the old Switzers, and the sufferings of 
their patron saints. 

The Water Tower stands near. It is the re- 
mains of what was a part of the fortifications in 
the first half of the 13th century. 

132 



The Spreuerbrucke, or Muhlenbrucke resembles 
the Kapellbrucke in being built entirely of wood, 
and roofed with the same material. It is not so 
old by a century. It contains an interesting series 
of paintings by Casper Meglinger, dating from 
the 1 6th century, representing the "Dance of 
Death." There is a fine fountain nearby, called 
the "Fountain of the Weinmarkt." On the sum- 
mit is a statue of St. Maurice, armed cap-a-pie, 
one of the finest ancient monumental fountains in 
Switzerland. Then the old Rathaus, the Musegg, 
the new Christ Church, built by the old Catholics 
of Lucerne, but in which the American Episcopal 
Church services are held. 

The evenings here are like those in Naples and 
Venice, soft and pleasant. The leaves of the 
chestnut trees rustle in the breeze that sweeps 
gently over the rippling waters of the lake, and 
the peaks of the lofty snow-capped mountains 
flash and redden as though they were no longer 
cold, but glowing with an internal fire. The up- 
lands seem all ablaze, while the shadows of even- 
ing are falling on the valleys. Softly swelling 
and dying gently away, the sweet tones of the 
vesper-bells are heard through the stillness of the 
night. Among the foliage of the trees, the elec- 
tric lights flash, and on the lake the gondolas with 
their colored lanterns glide hither and thither, and 
the songs of their happy occupants are heard 
across the now dusky waters. "The Naples of 

133 



Switzerland" is a title Lucerne well deserves. 
Could I compress into a single sentence all the 
exclamations and all the thoughts uttered in the 
divers languages, it should certainly be this: 
How lovely is the earth, and how glorious is life. 

One evening I had retired earlier than usual, 
tired by my walks and drives during the day, 
when Mary awoke me by calling out, "quick, 
quick !" I jumped out of Bed, not knowing what 
had happened, or v/as about to take place. She 
simply said, "look, it is the largest comet I have 
ever seen." I looked. It was nothing more than 
a search-light on the top of Mount Rigi. I told 
her so, at the same time giving her miy idea of 
her attainments in astronomy. She let me sleep 
after that. 

We had intended to make some of the ascents, 
as it could be done easily by means of the cable 
cars. The day set apart for it proved hazy, 
threatening rain, so instead we paid our bill and 
turned our faces toward Munich. 



134 



CHAPTER XIII. 

MUNICH. 
"Here's to good old beer, drink her down." 

^f^N this ride we made our only mistake of travel. 
^^^ We bought tickets for Munich, with privi- 
lege to stop over at Zurich. This I wished to do, 
as here it had been my intention to attend school, 
had not the Rebellion and the consequent pre- 
mium on gold, put an end to such possibilities. 
It rained hard, so we gave it up, keeping on until 
we reached Romanshorn. When you buy a 
ticket in Europe, you are supposed to know when, 
and where to get out, and when, and where to 
change cars. We supposed we did. When we 
reached Romanshorn, we noticed most of the pas- 
sengers left the car in which we were. We sat 
still, like "innocents abroad." Soon the guard 
came in to pick up in the way of valuables what- 
ever might have been left by the forgetful pas- 
sengers. I thought it a good time to begin the 
practical application of my knowledge of German. 
It was well I did. I asked if this was the train to 
Munich, and if we should remain seated. My 
want of a complete knowledge of the language 
prevents my repeating the entire conversation, 

135 



but I understood he regarded us as escaped luna- 
tics, and that if we did not "get up and git," we 
would spend the day in a spot not down in our 
itinerary. We got, (recht schnell) out into the 
pouring rain and into the proper Zug, and were 
hardly seated when the train moved on. A ride 
of an hour and a half brought us to Constance, on 
the border of a lake of the same name, over which 
we sailed to Lindau, where we again took the 
cars, reaching Munich at 7:28 P. M, As we were 
alighting from our carriage at the hotel, I was 
surprised and must say gratified, by the proprietor 
meeting us at the door of the coach. He grasped 
my hand and said in the best of English, "Dr. 
Filler, I am glad to see you." This was unex- 
pected. I did not know my reputation had gone 
on ahead of my body. When I spoke to Mary 
about this remarkable notoriety, she said, "that's 
easily understood, he saw your name on the 
trunk." Thus one by one she breaks my idols. 
She is a regular iconoclast. I never think myself 
way up in "G," but she pulls the foundations 
from under, and I fall to her level. 

When I got aboard of the boat at Constance, I 
roamed about to take in the machinery, look over 
the officers and see if a smoke-room was aboard, 
in order to insure a feeling of safety. During one 
of these pilgrimages, I thought to take a smoke. 
Accordingly I pulled out a cigarette and proceeded 
to hunt for a match. I found one and only one in 

136 



my safe. I struck it, but a gust of wind quickly 
extinguished it. I used some polyglot in the 
English tongue, when a young gentleman stand- 
ing near seeing my misfortune offered me another. 
I found he was an American, that is, one from 
Canada. Any one of the breed is acceptable at 
such a time and place. We at once struck up an 
acquaintance, and together traveled to Munich. 
He was a bright and most gentlemanly fellow, 
and we enjoyed his company. At one of the 
stations en route, we saw upon the platform a 
young lady waving an American flag, evidently 
to attract the attention of some expected friend. 
I wanted to be her friend, she was so pretty, and 
consequently took off my hat, waved my hand, 
and when Mary was not looking threw her a kiss. 
Our new acquaintance joined in the salutations 
for, he said, he was an "American in feeling and 
had great respect for the flag." 

We were now traveling second-class (except on 
steamers, when we went first,) and found the 
compartments and service as good as first in Italy. 
During this ride, from Lucerne to Constance, we 
had as fellow-passengers a young woman and her 
little daughter, a child of some five years of 
age. I struck up a speaking acquaintance by 
petting the baby. It is a good way I find to reach 
a mother's heart. She gave me an Edelweiss, an 
Alpine rose, and traded a mark for one of our 
American silver quarters. Her husband, she 

137 



said, was a petty officer in the army, and her 
brother a collector of coins. So am I, but not 
an officer, only a private in Mary's company. I 
am however, a numismatist, and accept with 
thanks any offering- to my collection. 

As I had rested all day in the train I went out 
in the evening with my new friend. Mary was 
tired. In fact it was better for her to keep quiet, 
and as a physician I advised her to do so. We 
had a good time viewing the city by gas-light as 
we could not during the day. We ran into some 
very good things, ending in the Concert Hall of 
the Lowenbrau-Keller, where a good band de- 
lighted our ears, pretty girls served the bier and 
sold ornamented postal cards which would have 
made Anthony Comstock blush. I had heard 
much of Munich bier and longed to sample it, I 
did, and long. We returned to the hotel before 
morning. Munich is the capitol of Bavaria, and 
has a lunatic for a king. It is built of bier, in 
fact, everything from houses to clothing has some 
of the article in their composition. They eat, 
drink, talk, smoke, do everything in bier. Brew- 
eries are everywhere. It was founded by Henry 
the Lion. It is difficult to tell what we did not 
visit. Among the many we did see (always hav- 
ing a guide,) were the monument of King Max 
Joseph, the Alte Residenz, built in 1596, with its 
four courts, one of which contains "Duke Christo- 
pher's Stone," the others filled with jewels, paint- 

138 



ings and articles of virtu ; the Festsaalbau ; the 
Konigsbau, built in imitation of the Pitti Palace 
at Florence, and where in apartments on the 
ground floor are the magnificent Nibelungen 
Frescoes by Schnorr begun in 1861. the Aller- 
heiligen Hofkirche, or All Saints' church with its 
windows so concealed, as to cause the light to en- 
ter in a very effective manner ; the Hof-und Na- 
tional Theatre ; the Royal coach houses, and 
harness rooms. Among the most interesting ob- 
jects in these latter are the state coaches and 
sleighs of Elector Max Emmanual, (1679); the 
carriage of Elector Charles Albert (1726), and the 
state carriages and sledges of King Lewis 2nd. 
The Hofgarten, the Musem of Plaster Casts, and 
the Ethnographical Museum. 

The handsomest street is Ludwig-Strasse, origi- 
nated by King Lewis ist. Here are the Feld- 
herrnhalle, the Church of the Theatines, erected 
in 1662, the Palace of Duke Max, the War Office 
and Kaulbad Museum, the Royal Library, Lud- 
wigskirche, the Blind Asylum, the University, 
and last, as a fitting termination, the Siegesthor, 
or Gate of Victory. The Academy of Art is at 
the left. Maximilian Strasse is another beauti- 
ful way. Here is the Mint, the Government 
Buildings, the Bavarian National Museum, the 
statues of General Deroy, Schiling, and Fraun- 
hofer, the optician. There is an elegant monu- 
ment to King Maximilian 2nd, and a building 

139 



(Maximilianeum) founded by him for the instruc- 
tion of students, who have shown an unusual 
aptitude for the civil service. There is also a 
statue of Elector Maximilian ist, and palaces with- 
out number. Among them that of Count Arco- 
Zinneberg-, and the Red Wittelsbach. In the 
Carolinen-Platz rises an Obelisk, 105 feet in height, 
cast from metal of captured guns, erected by 
Lewis ist to the memory of 30,000 Bavarians 
who perished in the Russian War. 

In one of the palaces, I have forgotten which, 
is a Throne Room. The Throne is guarded by a 
circle of ropes that it may not be defiled by the 
common people. That was not I. So I dodged 
under the protecting fence and sat on the Throne 
of Bavaria, I held the job only a short time, but 
it served to show an American could fill it. I could 
have run the whole country with a little help from 
Mary, and there would have been "a hot time in 
the old town that night." As I say, I did not 
keep m}^ place very long. I wanted to run for 
office at home in the fall. One thing interested 
Mary. It was a bed-quilt which had taken forty 
women ten years to embroider. I thought it had 
been a waste of time, that might better have 
been spent in bringing up a family. 

Of the collections of paintings, the Lotzbeck 
may be mentioned, but the finer is in the Old 
Pinakothek, which contains upwards of 1400 pic- 
tures, arranged in periods and schools. Every 

140 



known painter and sculptor of world renown 
seems to be represented here. It is magnificent. 
The New Pinakothek, contains a wonderful col- 
lection of porcelains and paintings, though this 
latter is insignificant as compared to that in the 
old. The Glyptothek, is devoted almost entirely 
to ancient sculpture. The handsome Konigsplatz, 
is terminated by the Propylasa, a magnificent 
gateway with Doric columns outside, and Ionic 
within. The Schack gallery is comparatively of 
no great moment. It was bequeathed by Count 
Adolf von Schack to the city. There are many 
other churches, museums and places of interest, 
too numerous for me to mention. Two I must 
speak of, Bavaria, and the Hall of Fame. It 
stands outside of the city about a mile and a half 
from the business center. It is a statue of Bava- 
ria in bronze, 62 feet to the top of the wreath 
which the figure holds aloft. You may mount to 
the top, as I did. It resembles somewhat our 
statue of Liberty in the Harbor of New York. 
The other-master-piece, is the Hoffbrauhaus- 
Krug, or Royal Brewery. Jos. Wittman, Wirts- 
chaftsfuhrer, is the title of the owner, or bar-ten- 
der, I don't know which. It is on my bier-card, at 
any rate. Here I drank the best liquid bread I 
ever tasted, cooled down in the deep cellars, and 
frothing by natural methods, not by injected car- 
bonic acid gas, and as pure as baking powder. 
It is entirely under government control, as 

141 



are all the others. The bier is of a deep brown 
color, and only two cents a litre, (over a quart) 
too cheap not to have in the house, or to allow 
any one to starve. The brewery and saloon 
looked centuries old, black and dingy. It is built 
of stone, and in the center is a court paved v\^ith 
cobble stones. Here and there are barrels set on 
end to serve as tables, while around the sides are 
rough boards and seats to act the same role. 
Within are benches. Near to the center where 
the vStaff of life is sold, is an immense tank with 
a supply of running water. When you vdsh a 
loaf, you take down a Stein, wash it in the tank, 
so if it is not clean it is your fault, not theirs. 
Then walk without fear to the executive station, 
pay your Pfennigs and get your meal. After I 
had been there several times, I bought my mug 
and brought it home as evidence I had had enough 
to eat. It is one of my choicest treasures. I took 
the guide out one day to fill him up. I didn't do 
it, it almost w^orked the other way. We had a 
boss time, vs^ith no "don'ts." Mary was tired, so 
kindly remained at the hotel for a nap. 

We did the town, including a show of Wax 
Works, in which an American lady took the part 
of snake-charmer. She had beautiful snakes, and 
was of fine figure. She out-stripped any snake- 
charmer I ever saw. I was glad Mary was at the 
hotel. Falling into conversation with her, she said 
she resided, when at home, on Second Avenue, 

142 



near Fourteentli street. I told her I v/ould call. 
She has not as yet informed me of her arrival, nor 
sent me her card. She is probably meeting with 
too much histrionic success to leave. I bought a 
lot of bier mugs as remembrances to my intem- 
perate friends, and sent them home by express. 
I am sorry I did not wait until I landed in New 
York, as I could have purchased those manufac- 
tured in Ohio at a less price. They were too ex- 
pensive for me to keep, so gave them to the 
above, as I said. 

While here Grand Opera was being given in the 
Royal Opera House. We took it in, Tannhauser. 
The Munichiners were trying to outdo the per- 
formances at Beyreuth, and I guess they did. It 
was great, especially the ballet. I took more inter- 
est in that than in the music, it was more anatomi- 
cal. Mary insisted on having a box on so grand an 
occasion, and I lost so much in liquid bread. 
Women have no idea of economy, or of the real 
needful things in life. She drinks Chablis, and 
likes it. We had some washing done here. We 
had it done before, I mean of soiled clothing. 
They do it in great shape and cheaply. You 
make out your list, tell them when you want it, 
and the duds come up in immaculate whiteness. 
This is one advantage of living abroad. They 
have other improvements over our methods of 
doing things. After entering the carriage on our 
arrival, having first paid the entrance fee to the 

143 



city, (no one gets in free, unless he has a pass, or 
is in with the gang) Mary asked if I had the um- 
brellas. I told her "no," and she commented on 
the fact, romanced on carelessness, forgetfulness, 
and advancing age, winding up by saying, "we 
shall never see them again." I might mention 
here, that it was her place to look after them, not 
mine, I had enough to do, looking after myself. I 
got out of the carriage and had a talk with the 
driver. He said, "come along, I guess we may find 
them." We went first to see if the train had pulled 
out of the yard. We found it had. He then took 
me into a little room, where on a rack I saw my 
lost goods, neatly wrapped up and labeled. I iden- 
tified them, gave the fellow in charge a mark and 
returned to Mary to blast her with the result. 
It had not been five minutes since we left the 
train till I had them in hand. They had been 
gathered in by the guard, labeled with the num- 
ber of the train, class, compartment, and a lot of 
other signs for identification. I'd like to see 
such a thing occur on an American railroad. The 
umbrellas are now safe at home. They are old 
and travel-worn, so we only use them on rainy 
days. One of the benefits Mary derived from her 
visit to Germany, was to find out that the word 
"lager" does not mean bier. She has found that it 
means a storage house. Now, since my return, I 
often go out to find a bread-lager, or a shoe-lager, 
or a lager alone. I tell you a tour in foreign 
lands is a great educator. It has been to Mary. 

144 



CHAPTER XIV. 

VIENNA. 

(sl©*^^ day we started for Vienna was remark- 
•^ able for several reasons. It was a delightful 
Sunday morning-, and the ride full of enjoyable 
views. Then it was my birthday, and last, I had 
a row with the Custom Officers. I may say in 
the beginning, I do not like the Austrians, Why, 
I cannot exactly tell, but they do not impress me 
as being truly religious. They boss a fellow too 
much, just as Mary does. I was anxious to see 
Vienna, and its renowned hospitals, for here 
Bilroth, one of the world's great surgeons, had 
held his clinic, and I had read much concerning 
his work. We found there was no change of cars, 
but a Custom House was to be passed. We took 
an observation car, and charged up the extra ex- 
pense to coming patients. At Salzburg, on the 
border of the Austrian Empire, our baggage was 
inspected but, for what reason, I cannot tell. We 
had already been through so many Customs, and 
all seemed so farcical, this time I made up my 
mind not to bother personally about it. At Ven- 
ice we were searched for sausages, they thinking 
we had our trunk stuffed with them from Bologna, 

145 



and at Munich, for chickens brought from, I know 
not where, I gave the guard a florin and my 
keys, telling him to see me through. He took 
both. I remained seated in our compartment, 
supposing all was being done secundem artem. 
By accident, I happened to look out of the window 
and spied our trunk. They were going through 
it in a shape that excited m}^ suspicions. I sup- 
posed the guard would see the Inspector, and the 
trunk would not be opened. It was his duty to do 
so, after getting that florin. I got out of the car, 
p. d. q., rushed into the Custom Room, and gave 
the guard my opinion of his executive ability. I 
got the affair settled by the payment of another 
florin, and entered the train as it began to m.ove. 
I think there is such a think as being too con- 
scientious. 

Here everything German on the train changed 
and came under Austrian control. It was no im- 
provement, at least I thought not after my experi- 
ence. Salzburg had a lot to do in the time of the 
Reformation, burning heretics and such little 
matters. It wouldn't hurt it to do it over. They 
need reformation, and I am not so sure but a good 
roasting would be of benefit, anyway to the 
guards, and the Custom House officials. 

We arrived at Linz soon after noon. Here I 
celebrated by birthday — not exactly in the man- 
ner I wished, but the best I could under the cir- 
cumstances. I treated myself to bier, sausages, 

146 



brown bread, and more bier. The latter made 
me feel like another fellow, so I took a drink with 
him. Mary decided not to join me, preferring to 
wait until we reached our destination, where, she 
said, she would "make me set it up for her," 
She did. 

Vienna, or in German, Wien, is the capital of 
the Austrian Empire and is the grandest city, 
architecturally, I have ever seen. I doubt if there 
is a more beautiful one in this respect in the 
world. It is divided into the old and new Stadt. 
In the Ringstrasse are the Imperial residences, 
the houses of many of the nobility, the leading 
churches, museums, galleries, the Bourse, the 
Oriental museum, the University, the Rathhaus, 
with a tower, 320 feet high, the Court Theater, 
the splendid Houses of Parliament, the Palace of 
Justice, the twin Imperial Museums, the Imperial 
Opera House, the fittings of which are most 
sumptuous, without and within ; the Commercial 
Academy, the Palace of Archduke William, the 
Austrian Museum, of Art and Industry, and the 
School for Art Industry. There are, moreover, 
medical colleges, hospitals, and extensive gardens. 
In architectural magnificence, it is not surpassed 
by any street in Europe. 

Public Monuments are in the greatest profusion 
about the city. The most striking of which are, 
the equestrian statues of Joseph II. and that 
of Archduke Charles, Prince Eugene, and 

147 



Francis I. In the middle of the Graben is the 
Dreifaltigkeitssaule (Trinity Column), erected by- 
Emperor Leopold I. It was constructed in 1682 
in memory of the Pest, and is often called the 
"Pestsaule." The crowning work of all is the 
grand Maria Theresa monument. To describe 
it would take pages of this book. There are 
those to Beethoven, Haydn, Gluck, Schiller and 
others, all of the greatest magnificence. Of the 
many fountains, the finest is that by Schwan- 
thaler, representing Austria with the four rivers, 
Danube, Elbe, Vistula and Po. 

Of the churches, St. Stephens is one of the 
noblest in Europe. The tower is 449 feet in 
height. The Capuchin church, contains the Im- 
perial Sepulchre. Here the remains of the 
Imperial Family, from Emperor Mathias (1630) 
and his consort Anna (1619) down to our days, lie 
buried in one hundred and twelve coffins. We 
saw them all, and placed our hands upon those 
which contained the mouldering bones of Em- 
perors and Kings. It now contains the bodies of 
eleven Emperors, fifteen Empresses, one King, 
two Queens, thirty Archdukes, fifty Archduch- 
esses, two Dukes and two Princes. It also con- 
tains the hearts of Empress Claudia Filicitas, and 
Empress Amelia, the heart of Queen Maria Anna 
of Portugal, whose body is buried at the Theres- 
ian Nuns in Lisbon, and the intestines of Arch- 
duchess Henrietta. 

148 



They have queer customs as to burial of Royalty. 
As a rule the intestines of those buried in the 
sepulchre, are deposited in the Old Princes Crypt 
before the High Altar at St. Stephens, while their 
hearts repose at the Loretto Chapel of the Im- 
perial Parochial Church of St. Augustine. Among 
the metal coffins here placed is many a pre- 
cious work of art. One is the gigantic coffin 
of Empress Maria Theressa and her consort Em- 
peror Francis. Pope Pius VI visited the sepulchre 
in 1783, and Napoleon descended into the graves 
of the Hapsburg dynasty. Touched by the sad 
spectacle of earthly transientness, he is said to 
have exclaimed, "Vanitas Vanitatum — hors la 
force." It is a solemn place. After life's fitful 
fever, here sleep those who have ruled empires by 
a nod, and shattered thrones by a word. They 
sleep, their burdens for a pillow, the same un- 
broken slumber which shall come to all. I could 
not but think of the emptiness of all earthly glory 
and honor, and made up my mind to have a good 
time here on earth, as I should be along time dead. 

Of the modern churches, the Lazaristenkirche, 
(the Votive church) erected in commemoration 
of the Emperor's escape from assassination, the 
Altlerchenfeld church, St. John's and the Byzan- 
tian Synagogue are worth a visit. The Hofburg 
or Imperial Palace, occupied from the 13th cen- 
tury contains the royal treasury. Tickets must 
be obtained the day before in order to visit it. 

149 



Here, always under guard, are the Regalia and 
Sacred Relics of the Holy Roman Empire (Ger- 
man Nation). Among them, are the Imperial 
Crown of pure gold, with polished uncut precious 
stones, the Imperial Orb of unpolished gold, the 
swords of Charlemagne, St. Maurice and the Im- 
perial Sword of Ceremony, the Book of the Holy 
Gospels, upon which the Emperor takes the oath 
before coronation. This last is said to have been 
found on the knees of Charlemagne, when his 
tomb at Aix-la-Chapelle was opened by order of 
Emperor Otto. The leaves are of violet parch- 
ment, the writing in gold. In another case are 
the Coronation Mantle, the Alba, a Coronation 
Garment like a surplice, and other robes, em- 
broidered in gold, and adorned with precious 
stones. Here is the lance of St. Maurice, with a 
nail of the Holy Cross set into its body, a piece of 
the Holy Cross, only surpassed in size by that 
preserved at Rome, a piece of the Holy Table 
Cloth, which decked the table at the Last Supper, 
a piece of the Holy Apron used by Christ when 
washing the feet of His disciples, a fragment 
from the Manger in which Christ was born, a bone 
of the arm of St. Anne, mother of the Virgin 
Mary, three links of the chain which bound the 
Apostles Peter, Paul and John, a fragment of the 
garment of St. John the Evangelist, a tooth 
(molar) of St John the Baptist, a Reliquary contain- 
ing earth saturated with the blood of the Martyr 

150 



Stephen, and the famous necklace of Marie An- 
toinette, upon which Dumas founded his cele. 
brated novel. Beside all these are sceptres, 
staves of office, orbs, wands, robes and banners, 
all mag-nificent. Then there are crosses, civil and 
military, and orders of the Golden Fleece, and 
others, each masses of diamonds, rubies, emer- 
alds, and precious gems. There are Imperial 
crowns, knots and buttons of brilliants, ornaments, 
neck-laces, fans and bracelets of untold value. 
The great Florentine Diamond is here, one of the 
largest in the world, being exceeded in size by- 
four others only, weighing 133^ Vienna carats. 
There is a golden rose from the Pope, the 
Imperial Baptismal Vessels and Christening 
Robes, with a host of other treasures that one 
must see to form an idea of what royal grandeur 
is. For the truth of the holy relics I cannot 
vouch. The other traps look as if they were genu- 
ine. I give them to you as we saw them. What 
more can you ask ? The finest piece of sculpture in 
Vienna, we saw in the Church of St. Augustines. 
It is the tomb of Archduchess Maria Christina, 
executed by Canova. 

The Prater is the finest of all the parks. It was 
the site of the Great Exhibition in 1873. Near 
the entrance stands the monument of Tegellhoff, 
an Austrian naval officer of distinction. The 
Volksgarten is another beautiful park. In it is 
the Temple of Theseus, modeled after that at 

151 



Athens, containing Canova's marble group of 
Theseus and Minotaur. The Stadtpark, with its 
elegant Cursalon is another, being a favorite rest- 
ing place on summer evenings. I hardly know 
how to cease recounting all the wonders and treas- 
ures we savi^ in this charming city. As I have said 
before of these wonderful capitals, one must see in 
order to learn all they contain. Words are fail- 
ures to describe. 

A curious little thing is, the "Stock-im-Eisen" 
in the corner of the Equitable Life Insur- 
ance building. It is the trunk of a tree, cov- 
ered by the heads of so many nails driven into 
it that no particle of the wood can be seen. Ac- 
cording to one tradition the Vienna Forest ex- 
tended in olden times to this very spot, and this 
was a Holy Tree which used to be beset with 
nails on solemn occasions. Another saying is, 
that the iron ring which encircles the trunk, and 
bears the date of 1575, and the initials of "H. B.," 
and the lock supposed to be inextricable, were 
made by one Martin Mux, and the nails have been 
driven into the tree by young locksmiths when 
they started on their travels from Vienna. 

During my stay, I visited many of the hospitals, 
saw some operations, and tried to bring home in 
my brain a few of the microbes of greatness and 
knowledge. Perhaps I have. My observations 
in all the hospitals of Europe, (Italy, Germany, 
Belgium, France and England) is, that ours in 

152 



America are much better fitted up. As to prac- 
tice we are their equals, if not superiors. Material 
is greater with them, by reason of population. I 
saw in Vienna some cases of fracture put up in 
a way that would in America bring a suit for mal- 
practice. Many of their methods are ancient, if 
not crude ; still they do good work, and add much 
to the knowledge of the sciences. The advance 
of science here is largely in the care of the govern- 
ment. The scientist is helped by the Crown, 
and he has no fear his family will starve while he 
is delving into the unknown. In America, and I 
m.ay say in England, nothing is done by national 
aid to help discovery on these lines. A few indi- 
viduals have given generously of their wealth to 
aid the car of progress on its march. That is all 
that has been done. He who would work out some 
of the great problems of life, must do it by his own 
hand, and at his own risk. No help is given him 
until he discovers something out of which money 
may be made. Experimental science is hooted at 
and the investigator called a fool. Science for 
the sake of Science, for the betterment of man- 
kind, must take care of itself. It is a pity what I 
say is true. When the English speaking nations 
shall awake to a full appreciation of the value 
of Biology, Sanitation, Medicine and Surgery, 
upon the welfare, life and happiness of the people, 
something will be done. I, however, fear the 
time is a long way off. Mary is doing something 

153 



at it, by holding the office of President of a Fe- 
male Suffrage Club. From her wild talk, I am 
sure it is on the track of something that is to 
advance everything. If it finds it, there will be 
a scientific revolution, and we shall have things 
as they should be, so she says. She tells me she 
has some ideas. For my part, I know she has. I 
think them erroneous however. 

I expected to drink the best coffee in Holland, 
as her colonies are supposed to produce the finest 
brands. I was mistaken. Vienna knows how to 
make it, the best I have ever drunk. Mary has 
never tasted coffee, so her opinion on the subject 
is of no value. She sticks to tea and other herbs. 
Since coming to Europe she has acquired a habit 
for Rhine wines and Chianti. Next she'll take to 
bier, and I shall be the only temperance person in 
the family. She need not preach W. C. T. U, 
after all I've seen. I have been graduated, 

Vienna rolls are no different from any others I 
have seen or eaten. Perhaps they originated 
here, hence the name. They are no improve- 
ment over the old-fashioned biscuit, and twice as 
difficult to masticate. The water is abundant and 
delicious, the finest we tasted in our travels. 



154 



CHAPTER XV. 

DRESDEN. 

ZT was so cool the evening- we arrived in Dres- 
den, the capital of Saxony, we wore wraps, 
though it was July. We had taken the precau- 
tion to secure an observation car, so we might see 
something of the out-door life of Germany. Mary 
slept most of the way, now and then waking up 
to say "don't," as she cares little for out-door 
work, or in-door either. The motion of the cars 
soothes her. Germany is a fine country, abound- 
ing in beet fields, from which the sugar used 
over nearly all of Europe is obtained. This vari- 
ety is not so sweet as that made from the 
cane, but the difference is hardly appreciable. It 
is cut into small blocks, an inch long, half an inch 
broad, and a quarter of an inch thick. 

Dresden is tame architecturally, after Vienna. 
It has been aptly called the "German Florence," 
by reason of the magnificence collection of pic- 
tures in the Royal Gallery. After the usual drive 
in the morning, visiting fountains, monuments, 
parks, gardens and terraces, we made haste to 
see the pictures and interiors of churches, palaces 
and shops. Mary is always losing something. 

155 



Here she lost her eye-glass hook. Ten cents pur- 
chased one good enough for some one else to find. 
vShe still has it for a wonder and a remembrance. 
There are many old and interesting bridges, es- 
pecially the Marienbrucke, and the Albertsbrucke. 
Several of the chief attractions are situated close 
to the old bridge. The Bruhl Terrace is one. 
Originally laid out in 1738, as a garden, by Count 
Bruhl, it is now a favorite promenade. It is ap- 
proached from the Schloss-Platz, by a broad flight 
of stairs adorned with gilded groups of "Night, 
Morning, Noon and Evening," cut in sand-stone 
by Schilling. At one side are the Bruhl Palace, 
and the Academy of Art. Then is seen the statue 
of Semper, and the Rielschel monument, also by 
Schilling. The Albertum, originally the Arsenal, 
is now a gallery of Sculptures and Casts. Beyond 
is the Maurice monument to the memory of the 
Elector of that name, who fell in battle 1553. 
Near by are the Law Courts, the Church of St. 
John, and the Schilling museum. The Roman 
Catholic Court Church is opposite the old bridge, 
and is adorned with seventy-eight statues of 
saints, on the parapets and at the entrance. The 
Tower is 280 feet high. Beneath the sacristy are 
the royal burial vaults. 

The Royal Palace, founded 1534, is an extensive 
edifice, filled with beautiful frescoes. Before it 
rises the loftiest tower in Dresden, 331 feet high. 
In the palace is the Green Vault, containing one 

156 



of the most valuable existing collections of curi- 
osities, jewels, trinkets, and small works of art, 
dating from the late Renaissance and Rococo eras. 
The cabinet of coins, in which I was much inter- 
ested, is particularly rich in choice specimens. In 
the Theatre-Platz, is the fine equestrian statue 
of King John. The Hof-Theater, one of the finest 
in Europe, is lavishly decorated with paintings, 
and statuary. Among the statues are those of 
Goethe, Schiller, and Moliere, figures of Sophocles, 
Euripides, Shakespeare and others. The museum 
forms a wing of the Zwinger, erected in 171 1. It 
and the museum contain the most important of 
the Dresden collections. The Picture Gallery in 
the museum now ranks with the Louvre, Pitti, 
and Uf&zi, as one of the finest in the world, and 
all the great masters of the Golden Period of 
statuary and art, are admirably represented. 
Here I saw what to me was the most beautiful 
painting in the world, The Sistine Madonna of 
Raphael. In the words of another, it is one "in 
which the most tender beauty is coupled with the 
charm of the mysterious vision, forcibly striking 
every susceptible beholder, and the longer he 
gazes, the more enthusiastic will be his delight." 
The picture is the only one in the room, the light 
coming in so as to illuminate that most beautiful 
face, and the entire painting in a glorious halo. 
You sit at the end of the room opposite the paint- 
ing, about twenty feet away. No one speaks, 

157 



every voice is hushed before this master-piece of 
art. I wish I were able to tell how it impressed 
me. I have seen thousands of others, gems from 
the hands of the greatest painters, never one like 
this. I went back to the room again, and again, 
so fascinated was I, and as I looked upon it for 
the last time I gave a sigh of relief, as the strain 
upon me relaxed. Ask any one who has seen it. 
They will tell you the same story. Besides the 
paintings are tapestries, engravings, and every- 
thing beautiful in art. 

Opposite the Zwinger, is the Prinzen Palace 
erected in 171 5, the residence of Prince Frederick 
Augustus. Here also is the Sophienkirche, or Pro- 
testant Court Church. Near by is St. George's 
Fountain. Behind the Imperial Post Office is the 
Industrial Museum, containing furniture, bronzes, 
and pottery. In the Neumarkt, rises the Frauen- 
kirche, erected in 1 726, with a lofty dome 310 feet in 
height. In the Platz in front, is the Luther monu- 
ment, a bronze cast from his original statue for the 
monument at Worms. A cross in the pavement 
near by, marks the spot where Crell, the Cal- 
vanistic Chancellor was executed in 1601. On the 
same square is the museum Johaneum, now con- 
taining the Historical museum, and collections of 
Porcelain. There are many other statues, and 
fountains, and public buildings. The old Palace 
Chapel, of 1555, the house of Carl Maria von 
Weber, the composer, the statue of Frederick 

158 



II, a figure of Germania, in Carrara marble, to the 
memory of tlie war of 1870, on tlie pedestal of 
which are allegorical figures of Peace, National 
Defence, Science, and Enthusiasm. The Kreuz- 
kirche, with its tovN^er 312 feet in height, attracts 
attention ; likewise the Goose Stealer Fountain, 
the English church, with wonderfully beautiful 
stained-glass windows. 

In the Neustadt, is the equestrian statue of 
Augustus II, "The Strong," as he was called, 
over life-size, erected in 1736, also the Japanese 
Palace, built in 171 5, and named after the Japan- 
ese porcelain formerly preserved here. It is now 
the Royal Library. The Gardens are many, of 
which the Grosse Garten, Botanical and Zoological 
are the most deserving of notice. The Ceme- 
teries have obelisks and contain the remains of 
many noted in art, war and theology. Dresden 
at one time was celebrated for the manufacture 
of porcelain, or as we call it, china. To a certain 
extent it still maintains its old reputation. We 
thought of buying a dinner service, but found the 
pieces could be broken as easily as those costing 
a dollar a dozen, instead of one hundred a plate. 
This in part led us to give up the idea. Mary 
says she would like to live in Dresden, "it is so 
peaceful." I wish she would. I prefer Munich, 
or Paris. There is more going on in them. 



159 



CHAPTER XVI. 

BERLIN, POTSDAM, AND SANS SOUCI. 

itlLW'NTER den Linden," Berlin, and Sans Souci, 
■^^ liad been familiar words since childhood. 
As our letter of credit was not exhausted, we felt 
the inhabitants would rejoice to see us. We went 
in, and struck Fourth of July. We registered at 
the Grand Hotel de Rome, on "Unter den Linden," 
near to Friedrichstrasse. I have described in 
other chapters the places we visited more fully 
than I intended when I began writing, so hence- 
forth shall try to keep within bounds, asking 
the reader to look up points that may interest him 
in better and more fully descriptive books than 
this. 

We had been expecting letters from home at 
each resting place, and thought we should surely 
find them here. We were again disappointed. 
Subsequently we discovered they had been written, 
but either traveled too slowly for us, or else some 
other distinguished Americans received them. I 
have always been suspicious they contained bills 
from my creditors, and that my son worked in 
with the Postal Officials at New York, and blocked 
the game. He always does right by his father. I 

1 60 



have had him under the ''X" rays, and find his 
liver and heart are like his mother's, but his 
brain and feet are like his father's. 

The morning after our arrival, Mary broke down 
the elevator so effectually it did not run for two 
days. It may have been accident, but Mary and 
broken "lifts" are too common to be coincidences. 
As it happened on the glorious Fourth, she has 
always claimed the accident (?) occurred to cele- 
brate the day. She l^ad Fourth of July in 
several places, if this was the case. The weather 
was cold and threatened rain. In fact it was more 
so, and more of it than anywhere else. No letters 
and rain made us home-sick, and we wished our- 
selves at home in our own Palazzio Damfino, 
many times. 

When you leave a train on entering Berlin, 
you see a policeman posted at the point of egress. 
He hands you a metal ticket with the number 
of a cab, the traveler having stated which class 
he desires. You give the medal to a porter, who 
will summon the proper vehicle, and see that your 
traps are put in. Of course you give both a 
remembrance. 

Berlin is magnificent with its palaces, churches, 
and memorial buildings. *'Unter den Linden" is 
the handsomest and busiest part of the city, 
flanked by magnificent palaces, spacious hotels, and 
attractive shops. It is about a mile in length, 
from the Brandenburg Gate to the Royal Palace, 

i6i 



and 196 feet wide. Through the center runs a 
double row of linden and chestnut trees, making 
an avenue between. At one end is the Palace 
Gate with its eight groups of statuary, at the other 
the stately portal of the Brandenburg Gate, sur- 
mounted by a colossal chariot of Victory. The 
street reminds one of the boulevards of Paris. 

At the east end rises the statue of Frederick the 
Great in bronze, probably the grandest monu- 
ment of its kind in Europe. Near the statue is 
the palace of the Emperor William I. Opposite 
the palace is the Academy building ; then comes 
the University, the garden of which is adorned 
with statues of William and Alexander Von 
Humboldt. The Royal Library is behind the 
palace of William I. The motto beneath the cor- 
nice, ^'■mit^-ijnentum spiritus,'' was selected by the 
Great Frederick. Here are the first impressions 
of Luther's translation of the Bible, Melanchton's 
report of the Diet of Worms, Gutenberg's Bible 
of 1450 on parchment, the first book printed with 
movable type, and many interesting manu- 
scripts. On the other side of the street is the 
Opera House, with groups of statuary pertaining 
to the Drama. Statues stand before the doors in 
the square. The Kaiservase, a huge vase with 
allegorical figures, is between the Library 
and Opera House. It was presented to Emperor 
William I, on his 90th birthday, by the Empress 
Augusta. Behind is the church of St. Hedwig, 

162 



an imitation of the Pantheon at Rome. Then 
there are the Royal Guard House, Singing Acad- 
emy, and the Arsenal. This latter contains a mili- 
tary museum and the "Hall of Fame." I was 
greatly interested in the collection of weapons, 
especially the cannon, mediaeval and modern, 
many having been captured in the Franco-Prus- 
sian war, and bearing marked evidence of having 
taken part in battle. Among the number was one 
of American manufacture, a mitrailleuse. 

The Hall of Glory contains statuary, paintings 
and frescoes upon the walls, illustrative of the 
progress of the German Empire. In a line with 
the prolongation of the Linden is the Schloss- 
Brucke. It is adorned with eight groups in 
marble, over life-size, illustrating the life of a 
warrior. To the right beyond the bridge, is the 
equestrian statue of Frederick William III, 20 
feet in height. The pedestal has allegorical 
figures at the front. A little way farther on is a 
huge granite basin, said to weigh 75 tons, hewn 
out of solid rock. It is 22 feet in diameter. The 
Royal Palace was erected in 1443, by Elector 
Frederick II. It has been much altered since its 
beginning, and is still unfinished. At the portal 
is the statue of the Horse Tamers, in bronze, pre- 
sented by Emperor Nicolas of Russia. In the 
first court is a bronze group of St. George, and 
the Dragon. The building contains 700 apart- 
ments, also a large number of portraits of the 

163 



Royal Family, ball rooms, picture galleries and 
statuary. In going through one of the apart- 
ments, I think it is the grand ball-room, the visi- 
tor is obliged to put on slippers made of felt. 
You do not pick oi^t your size, but take them as 
handed to you. They are all large enough. I 
got Mary's. In them you shuffle, (you cannot 
walk) over the polished floor. I think this is 
done for two reasons. First, that you may not 
scratch the floor, the surface of which is like a mir- 
ror, and second, that you may help by your mode of 
movement, to enhance its lustre. It is a great 
game, and helps out the lazy janitor. I enjoyed 
it, as it was a real Yankee idea. There are an Old 
and New Museum, both filled with objects of 
great interest, sculptures, paintings, antiquities, 
coins, casts, etc. Their importance consists in 
the representation of the most varied styles, and 
epochs, rather than in the possession of master- 
pieces by great artists. Near the New Museum, 
in the center of the square, surrounded by Doric 
colonnades,3and embellished with statues, flower- 
beds and fountains, is the National Gallery. It 
is filled with statuary and paintings. 

Friedrich Strasse, was nearly opposite our 
Hotel. It is one of the chief thoroughfares, filled 
with life and bustle. I found in it a good place 
for bier but did not tell Mary. I went there often 
to acquire more fluency in the German language, 
and fluidity of German food. It was always a 

164 



good starting- place when I wished to go anywhere. 
It is the longest street in town. A little way from 
this street is the Gendarmen-Markt. In the center, 
now called the Schiller-Platz, are the Schauspiel- 
Haus, (Theatre), the French church, the New 
Church, and several handsome private residences 
of the last century, forming the finest architectural 
group in Berlin. In front of the Theater, (Schaus- 
piel-Haus) stands the monument to Schiller, in mar- 
ble, 19 feet high, Wilhelm Strasse, is considered 
the most aristocratic quarter of the city. Here 
reside the Royal Ministers, Princes, the Chancel- 
lor, and other high toned people. In the Wilhelms- 
Platz, are flower-beds, with statues of six heroes of 
the three Silesian wars of Frederick the Great. 
Here also is the Palace of Prince Frederick Leo- 
pold, the Kaiser-Hof, the church of the Trinity, and 
the Imperial Treasury. In the Leipzerger Strasse 
is the Concert Haus, the Equitable and the New 
York Life Insurance buildings, the General Post- 
office, Post-office Museum and War-office, the Hall 
of the Imperial Diet, and near at hand other 
buildings pertaining to the management of the 
government. In the Belle-Alliance-Platz is the 
Column of Peace, 60 feet high, erected to com- 
memorate the 25th anniversary of the Peace of 
181 5, the Royal Porcelain Factory, the Monument 
of Victory, and the Mausoleum, where Queen 
Louise, and her husband, Frederick William 
III, repose. In the city are many other noted 

165 



churches, schools, museums, exchanges, markets, 
theaters, parks, and palaces, too numerous to 
mention. We could not see them all in our 
brief stay, but we got over a great deal of ground. 
I have spoken in detail more than I expected. I 
trust it has not proved wearisome. 

Soldiers are everywhere in Berlin. In fact you 
see them at all times, and in all places throughout 
Germany, and a fine lot of fellows they are. They 
march with a peculiar (to me) step, called ''the 
Goose Step." The foot comes down flat upon the 
ground, after the thigh has been thrown forward 
at right angles to the body, and the whole leg 
pushed forward. In my experience in war and 
married life, I have seen nothing like it. Around 
"Unter den Linden," and within the circle of 
trees is a path, in which I saw the Cavalry man- 
oeuvering. Whether the path is for this sole pur- 
pose, I do not know. It appears so at any rate. I 
went to see the soldiers at the gymnasium, exer- 
cising before the drill began, and afterwards saw 
them going through all sorts of military tactics 
which made me think the Emperor had a fine 
corps of men, and that some nations would better 
go slowly before challenging them to fight. 

On Sunday, we went to the great Fair just out- 
side of the city. It was not a National one, but 
limited to the industries of Berlin itself. The 
buildings were large and attractive, a "World's 
(Chicago) Fair" in miniature. The displays were 

1 66 



lavish, comprising every art, and manufacture, on 
exhibition and for sale. There were also the 
usual outside temptations, streets of Cairo, amuse- 
ment halls, all that goes to make up such a spec- 
tacle. A large crowd was there, though it 
rained in torrents and was cold. I took 
precautions against the entrance of microbes, 
Mary took cold. It was a just punishment for 
breaking the Sabbath, and the effects kept her 
in bed for two days. I urged her not to go, but 
she persisted, saying she had reasons for not 
remaining at the hotel. I have always thought 
she suspected I had an engagement with some 
young lady. This condition of Mary, the broken 
elevator, and no letters from home, made her 
visit at Berlin rather doleful. We celebrated 
the Glorious Day without fire-crackers, but drank 
to the healths of President Cleveland and the 
Kaiser. I saw one United States flag flying over 
a hotel on "Unter den Linden" where many 
Americans were staying. This is all the cele- 
bration we had. 

Mary being better by Tuesday under my treat- 
ment (for which she never paid me), we went 
over to Potsdam, taking a train to the town, then a 
carriage and a guide. Potsdam is located 1 6 miles 
from Berlin, and is called the "Versailles of Prus- 
sia." While driving about, we met the royal car- 
riage, containing the only daughter of the Em- 
peror, with her maids of honor. At another time 

167 



we ran across the Emperor's brother-in-law. I 
have forgotten his name. We did not recognize 
them, as we were too busy looking at other 
curiosities, and I had to keep an eye on Mary, 
fearing a sudden return of her cold. The Emperor 
was at home, but by some mistake had not 
received our cards or invited us to call. I harbor 
no ill-will. 

Passing through the Brandenburg Gate, erected 
in the form of a Roman triumphal arch, with an 
allegorical fountain group of five figures near it, 
we entered the Park of Sans Souci. At this 
entrance is the Friedenskirche, or Church of 
Peace, the favorite building of Frederick William 
IV. A broad flight of steps ascends to the Palace. 
On the last terrace, Frederick the Great's grey- 
hounds are buried. The king expressed a wish 
to be buried at the foot of the statue of Flora, 
which stands at this point. ("Quand je serai la je 
serai sans souci"). 

The Palace of Sans Souci is of one story, 
erected in 1745, and was Frederick's almost con- 
stant residence till death. His rooms are pre- 
served nearly unaltered, and the main interest of 
the palace consists in the numerous reminiscences 
it contains of its illustrious founder. Among the 
treasures shown are, the clock he was in the habit 
of winding, and which is said to have stopped at 
the exact moment of his death, 2:20 a. m., August 
17th, 1786, the chair in which he died, his spinet, 

168 



together with his portrait, the only likeness for 
which he ever sat, taken in his 56th year. The 
room in which Frederick William IV died (kept 
unaltered) with that occupied by Voltaire may be 
visited. Pictures and busts are on every hand. 
The picture gallery itself contained little of 
interest. 

On the way to the Orangery, we passed the 
famous windmill, which the owner is said to have 
refused to sell to Frederick. It is now however 
royal property. The Orangery contains a large 
number of paintings, mostly copies, and some 
statues, as Ceres, Flora, and a copy of the Farnese 
Bull. There are two ancient sarcophagi, used as 
troughs, near the steps, as you go down into the 
garden. The gardens about the palace are kept in 
the most careful manner, and are filled with vines, 
flowers, and fountains. I walked through them, 
but as it promised to be fatiguing to Mary, 
she remained in the carriage, meeting me at the 
other end. I was not alone however. Two pretty 
girls wished to place themselves under my care 
and you can wager I took care of them. We were 
some time in going through. A mile at least from 
the Orangery, is the New Palace, now the summer 
residence of the present Emperor. We did not 
stop. Returning to the town, where many army 
officers reside, we visited all places of interest. I 
remember a large iron gate, at the top of a ter- 
race, which the guide told me had been opened 

169 



but once, which was when Napoleon passed 
through. I do not call to mind just where it was 
situated, but think it was one of the entrances to 
the park. In the Lustgarten are bronze busts of 
York, Blucher, and twelve other celebrated per- 
sonages, not of much interest, at least to me. 

The Royal Palace contains many remembrances 
of Frederick. His flute, music-stand, ink-stand, 
autograph notes, traveling cup, the apartments of 
Frederick William I, and a few pictures painted 
by that Monarch, "in tormentis," that is, during 
an attack of gout. Of course there is much else 
to please, and charmi the eye. Near by is the lime 
tree, now protected by an iron covering, under 
which petitioners gathered so as to attract the at- 
tention of Frederick in order to present their 
grievances. Here is the marble Mausoleum of 
"Unser Fritz," guarded by a soldier at the door. 
You are requested not to speak, while within, as 
silence seems to make the spot more sacred. 

The Church of St. Nicholas is near. The 
Rathhaus, built in 1754, the gable of which is 
adorned with a gilded figure of Atlas bearing the 
globe. The Obelisk in front, 75 feet in height, is 
embellished with medallions of the Great Elector, 
and the first three kings of Prussia. Adjoining 
is the Barberini Palace, erected by Frederick in 
imitation of that at Rome. The hall is used for 
scientific and other societies. A vault under the 
pulpit of the Garrison church, contains the remains 

170 



of Frederick the Great, and of liis father, Fred- 
erick William I, founder of the church. I stood 
by the coffin of the King and Elector, on the spot 
where Napoleon stood, and where he is said to 
have uttered these words : "If you had been 
living, I would not have been here." I plucked a 
leaf from the wreath which is daily placed upon the 
coffin, and have it among the memorabilia of my 
travels. As if in keeping with the great soldier, 
there are many flags about the entrance of the 
tomb, flags captured in the memorable days of 
1813-1815. After all "the path of glory leads but 
to the grave." There were other places of interest 
we failed to visit for want of time, much to our 
regret, as for instance Babelsburg. We returned 
to Berlin late in the evening. 

Before I close this chapter, I cannot help speak- 
ing once more of the palace of the old Emperor 
William, grandfather of the present sovereign. 
An old Vy^oman was in attendance who had been a 
body servant of the old monarch. She was very 
kind, showing us many treasures of the old war- 
rior, we might not have seen otherwise. His 
chair, his pen, his books, his private apartments, 
nearly everything which added to the enjoyment 
of his last days here in Berlin. 



171 



CHAPTER XVII. 

FRANKFORT-ON-THE-MAIN. HEIDELBERG. MAYENCE. 

ZT was a long ride, of more than twelve hours to 
Frankfort. A mistake was made in not cut- 
ting it in half, and stopping over night at Leipsic. 
I'll do it another time. Mary had fine innings 
at "don't," slept a good deal, ate at every station, 
while I smoked and looked out of the car window 
over the country. I thought of buying a farm. 
Mary was really ill, her cold still quite severe. 
These foreign microbes are more tenacious than 
ours. I had brought with me a supply of medi- 
cine to use as occasion required, and gave Mary a 
sample of all I had. I was bound to fetch her or 
the microbes. She was much improved when we 
reached Mayence. 

Frankfort-on-the-Main, is a delightful little 
city. Though our stay was brief, we took in all 
points worth seeing. The chief v/ere the Stadt 
Art Gallery, the Ariadneum, containing Dan- 
necker's master piece of "Ariadne," the Palm 
Garden, the Kaisersaal in the town hall, with its 
portraits of German Emperors, the house where 
Goethe was born, the Schawnthalers monument 

172 



to the poet, the monument to Gutenberg and 
Schiler, the old Bridge with its diabolical legend, 
the statue to Charlemagne, and the Cathedral. 

Over the main entrance of a house (Swan Hotel) 
opposite our hotel, was a tablet stating, "Here on 
the loth of May 1871, the treaty of peace between 
Germany and France was signed by Bismark and 
Jules Fevre." There are many gardens and foun- 
tains scattered through the city, which Mary 
wished to visit but was too ill to gad much, so I 
took a day off, and ran down to Heidelberg. I 
could in this way see some new things, have a 
time with the boys, and miss some hundred thous- 
and "don'ts." 

I bought a "Rundreise," or excursion ticket, as 
it saved a few marks for bier. I did this on the 
advice of my son-in-law, who had lived in Germany 
several years . I often v/ished for him, as he always 
helps "Pop" to have a good time. I met in my 
compartm.ent going thither a young minister and 
his pretty wife. Episcopalians and from America. 
Of course I was in it. Unmarried, pious and an 
Episcopalian. We talked and talked, that is the 
pretty wife and I. As for the Dominie, I allowed 
him to read the newspapers, as it kept his eyes from 
us. I got off at Darmstadt, long enough to see the 
War Alonument, but nothing else. A friend had 
given me before leaving home a card of introduc- 
tion to an intimate acquaintance in this burg, but 
through some misfortune I lost it, and not remem- 

173 



bering the name or address, missed a good oppor- 
tunity, for I wanted to see the Library, and Pic- 
ture Gallery, and in the palace of Prince Charles 
the famous Madonna with the family of Burgo- 
master Meyer. You can't have your own way, 
always. Misfortunes come to the good, as well as 
to the bad. Mary, you will remember, was ill at 
this time. It began to rain just as I reached 
Heidelberg, and I had no umbrella. They say it 
always rains here, but I did not know the adage till 
I reached the town. I started to engage a carriage, 
but so much was demanded for its use, I thought 
it would be cheaper to purchase a new suit of 
clothes, so left it and proceeded to walk up the hill 
to the Castle, taking things in as I passed along. 
After I had gone some distance, I saw the same 
turnout coming my way and an offer by the driver 
at a more reasonable rate, closed a bargain, and I 
got in. Soon after a guide appeared offering his 
services, and we made a contract on that. Every- 
body happy. We cravv^led up the steep hill to the 
old ruin, the finest in Europe, (though I began to 
think I was) passing little summer houses, and 
hotels, making me wish I might spend weeks 
among and in them. At the entrance to the 
Castle is a gate, and near by a cafe, into which I 
took the guide and blew him off a couple of 
times, and then went into the grounds. I told 
the coachman to reserve the carriage until I re- 
turned. I went all over ; through the gate built in 

174 



a night ; enjoyed the charming view, which tempts 
you to linger, then into the Castle, half palace and 
half fortress, up into the museum, and down into 
the chapel and cellar, where is the celebrated 
"Tun." I was sorry it was empty. The last 
time it was filled three hundred and sixty thous- 
and bottles of wine were said to have been put in. 
I am inclined to think this is either not true, or 
the bottles were small. However, it can hold 
enough to keep a poor family all winter. 

The guide asked me if I desired to visit the 
Molkencur, or Milk Cure a short distance, he said, 
above the Castle. Two hundred feet up hill ! I 
wonder what he calls long ! I declined, telling 
him I had been weaned. Returning, I took the 
carriage and rode all through the town, over the 
Old and New Bridges ; saw the University, the 
Church, half Protestant and half Catholic, and by 
this I mean, the building is in one piece, one 
sect worshipping in one end, the other in the 
other ; the dueling rooms of the students, where 
are cut the names of many who have become dis- 
tinguished in the world. I bought at the Castle 
a Stein for my son-in-law, who is making a collec- 
tion of ceramics, and a metal mug for an intimate 
friend who never drinks. When I returned to 
Frankfort, Mary asked we where I was going to 
pack them, and why I had not brought a whole 
brewery. I declined to discuss the subject. Her 
cold made things look large. I did not feel very 

175 



well myself going back, for I missed the com- 
pany of the clergyman's pretty wife, and perhaps 
had walked too far, Mary said I had "been too 
kind to the guide." I recovered. 

We left for Mayence, or Mainz, take your 
choice — the next afternoon. It Vv^as growing 
warmer. In the evening of the day before we 
left for Cologne, we rode about the town, viewing 
the barracks, monuments, and attractive places. 
Mary being better so I could leave her without 
causing myself anxiety, and also being lonesome, 
I spent the latter part of the evening in a grand 
garden near our hotel. It was brilliantly illumi- 
nated, filled with families, fathers, mothers and 
children, from the grown up son to the nursing 
babCo An orchestra discoursed delightful music, 
and every one was having an enjoyable time. All 
were drinking bier like christians. I want to say 
right here, and Mary will bear me out in this as- 
sertion if in nothing else — we never saw a drunken 
person in our entire travel until we reached Lon- 
don. There the number of drunken men and 
women would shock a saloon-keeper. The 
Italians and Germans drink wine and bier as we 
do coffee and tea, not gulping it down, but sipping 
it. This is first, because they have not the money 
to pay for it, and second, they drink for the social 
feature, not to become intoxicated. We met two 
or three wedding parties holding a celebration in 
several hotels where we were staying, and though 

176 



at times we could hear them talking and singing, 
as if they felt exhilarated, yet we never saw one 
the worse for his indulgence. Raines Bills are un- 
known, nor does a man abuse his liberty. I am 
in favor of their methods, and shall vote with the 
Germans at the next election. 

To get back. The city is situated at the junc- 
tion of the Main and Rhine rivers. A Roman 
camp was located here B. C, 38, but the founda- 
tion of the town dates from B. C, 14, when 
Drusus built extensive fortifications and added 
the Castellium, whence Castle takes its name. In 
the Citadel is an interesting monument, the 
Eigelstein, 45 feet high, erected by soldiers in 
honor of Drusus. Outside of the city are exten- 
sive remains of a Roman aqueduct. I did not see 
them. The Cathedral is one of the grandest in 
Germany, none so rich in monuments. The 
Brazen Doors bear inscriptions engraved in 1135, 
in honor of Archbishop Adalbert I. In the 
Chapter house, m,ay be seen the tablet to the 
memory of Fastrada, wife of Charlemagne, and 
Schwanthaler's monument to "Rauenlob, the 
pious minstrel of the Holy Virgin, and of female 
virtue." (There never has been another born.) 
Near it is the older tombstone of 1783, a copy of 
the one set up at the death of the poet in 13 18. 
Near the Cathedral is a statue of Gutenburg. 
There is an Electoral Palace, St. Stephen's Church 



177 



and others we did not have time to visit. I had 
a circus in the town trying to buy some cough- 
drops for Mary. I wanted troches, but the apothe- 
cary insisted on giving me stuff in a bottle. At 
last I succeeded in obtaining some malt drops, 
like candy, which seemed to allay the irritation in 
Mary's breathing apparatus. I could not work my 
M. D. as I had no license to practice in the coun- 
try, so was obliged to pass my myself off as an 
ordinary man. It was a great come down. 



178 



CHAPTER XVIII. 

THE RHINE AND COLOGNE. 

"The river Rhine, it is well known, 
Doth wash your city of Cologne; 
But tell me, nymphs ! what power divine 
Shall henceforth wash the river Rhine ?" 

WE started on our sail down the Rhine in 
the morning, at 9:30 by steamer Deutscher 
Kaiser, arriving at Cologne at 5 P. m. It alwa37-s 
seems to me to be ''up" when I look at the map. 
I think the reason they say "down," is on account 
of the direction of the flow of the water. Since 
my return I have been frequently asked "which is 
the more beautiful, the Hudson or the Rhine ?" 
I answer neither, for to my vision they are en- 
tirely unlike. The Rhine is historic, therein is its 
beauty, with its castles, old palaces and vineyards. 
It is a dirty stream, at some places very narrow, at 
no point so majestic in its water as our noble 
Hudson. I like the Hudson better because I 
drink it, now and then. Mary takes it in tea. On 
our trip down, she took Chablis and Seltzer, I was 
not mean enough to keep count of the number of 
bottles. She drank, however, all she ought in her 
feeble state of health. I took all kinds, as I 
wished to sample the brews of each noted place 

179 



where wine is produced that I might know which 
was tlie best tonic for ray patients, when I pre- 
scribe a light form of alcoholic stimulant. 

The first place of note reached is Bingen, the 
home of the fellow who "lay dying in Algiers." 
Opposite, on the right hand shore, on the wooded 
height of Nierderwald is the great National monu- 
ment, commemorating the restoration of the 
German Empire in 1870. It stands 740 feet above 
the river, and consists of a collossal statue of Ger- 
mania 33 feet high, upon a pedestal 78 feet in 
height, adorned with historical and allegorical 
reliefs. Then Eltville, Y\^here a printing press 
was set up in 1465 ; then the Castle of Johannis- 
berg, Geisenheim and Rudesheim, both with their 
old castles, and noted for wines. Assmians- 
hausen, famous for red vv^ine, is at the end of the 
"great gorge of the Rhine," through which we 
were to sail. On the right the ruins of Ehrenfels 
and the Mausthurm, or Mouse Tower ; then 
Lorch, Bacharach, with many little villages be- 
tween. Longfellow says, as you will remember, 
in the Golden Legend, 

"At Bacharach on the Rhine, 
At Hocheim on the Main, 
And at Wurzburg on the Stein, 
Grow the three best kinds of wine." 

Caub, to the right. Oberwesel, to the left. St. 
Goar, on the left bank has, on the hill above 
Rheinfels, the most interesting ruin on the river. 

180 



It is of the I3tli century. Then comes Welmich, 
above which is the castle of Thurnberg, or the 
"Mouse," built in the 14th century. Bornhofen, 
with the twin castles of Sternberg, and Lieben- 
stein, Brauback, Rhense, Oberlaustein, passing 
the royal castle of Stolzenfols, on the left, to 
Coblence. Here the Moselle enters. Beyond is 
the long island of Niederwerth. We then come 
to Engers on the right, where as some antiqua- 
rians believe Caesar made his second crossing^ of 
the Rhine. As we sail along, we pass Weissen- 
thurm, with the old watch tower, A. D., 1379. On 
the height, to the right is a monument to the 
French General Hoche, who crossed here in 1797. 
Then Neuwied, and Andernach, with its ruined cas- 
tle, ancient walls and lofty watch-tower. On the left 
Brohl, with the ruined castle of Hammerstein, 
built in the loth century, and destroyed in 1660, 
by the Archbishop of Cologne. Linz, also on the 
right. Erpel, Remegen to Oberwinter, where 
ahead of you the view is the finest on the river. 
Konigswinter, on the left, where is the old castle, 
what remains of it, a mere fragment, said to have 
been built by Roland, paladin of Charlemagne, 
who fell at the battle of Roncesvalles. Rolandseck 
comes next, after half an hour's sail. Last Bohn, 
twenty-one miles from Cologne. 



I8l 



COLOGNE. 

We were doubly glad to reach Cologne, for here 
we found the first letters from home, bringing 
the gratifying intelligence that all were well. 
Mar}^ was cured, after reading the first epistle, and 
I took a bottle of Cologne water on the kids. 

Cologne, or Koln, was originally the chief town 
of the ancient Ubii, the Oppidum Ubiorum of 
Tacitus. It became known as Colonia Agrippina 
from A. D. 51, when Agrippina, who was born 
here while her father Germanicus held command 
in the district, induced her husband Claudius to 
send a colony of veteran soldiers to the place. It 
afterwards became the chief town of Germania 
Secunda, or Inferior. The Roman remains con- 
sist of what is called the Pfaffenporte, supposed to 
be the old Porta Claudia, and som^e fragments of 
the walls. Many statues, sarcophagi, mosaic pave- 
ments, &c., have been found in and about the city. 

The Cathedral, the spires of which you see long 
before reaching the city, is the great glory. All 
things considered, it is the grandest Gothic church 
in the world. It was begun in 1248, but the choir 
was not consecrated until 1322. The spires, two 
of them, the tallest in the world, are 512 feet high. 
It contains much statuary and many paintings. 
The treasury guards a golden shrine of the 12th 
century, enclosing the bones of the Magi, brought 

182 



from Constantinople to Milan by the Empress 
Helena, and afterwards transferred by Frederick 
Barbarossa to Cologne. The glass is fine, like 
some at Munich. Mary thinks it is the finest of 
all churches thus far seen. We visited the church 
of St. Ursula, 12th century, said to hold the bones 
of 11,000 virgins martyred by the Huns. (Prof. 
Andrew D. White in his recent work says they 
are mostly those of males and animals.) Bones 
are everywhere worked into the walls as mosaics, 
in every available place in the church. The 
skull of the saint, and a few of her chosen com- 
panions, are stowed away in the Golden Chamber, 
in the inside of gold and silver images. It was 
here I saw one of the vessels used at the mar- 
riage feast in Cana of Galilee. I put hand my into 
it, but the bridal party had not left a drop. A piece 
was broken out of the rim. While "doing" this 
church we saw a similar party. We were told by 
the guide the poor things had been there a couple 
of hours, kneeling and praying before the High 
Altar. I did not ask the innocent doves why they 
did it. Peace in the family, and with the pros- 
pective mother-in-law I presume was the object. 
Into whatever gallery of paintings we went, we 
had been haunted by two pictures, Susanna at the 
bath, and St. Sebastian, the human pin-cushion. 
No matter where the gallery was, in church or 
palace, these two turned up. Mary was disgusted 
after she had seen two or three thousand Susan- 

183 



nas, but I would have seen more. I looked her 
^straight in the face, not as the Elders always were 
doing, through a crack, or half-opened door. Had 
I been there, I should have gone right in like a 
man, and offered to buy soap and tovv^els, or help 
her wash. I got down on St. Seb'. Here I saw 
his bones and the arrow which killed him. I was 
thankful he was done for, and bade him, as I 
thought, an everlasting farewell. Not much ; he 
and Susie turned up in the next museum. I'd 
like to get the two together, so as to make an 
end of the farce. I'll bet on Susie every time. 
Women like Mary would side with the old duffer 
Sebast'. 

Less interesting churches are those of St. Ger- 
eon, with a nave as old as the 7th century, having 
skulls of the martyrs around under gilded ara- 
besques ; the Apostles' church, begun in 1200; 
St. Peter's, which has for an altar-piece the "Cru- 
cifixion of St. Peter." (You pay a fee to see it.) 
At No. 10, in the Sternengasse, Rubens is falsely 
said to have been born, and in the same house, 
(this is true,) Maria de Medici died in exile in 
1642. St. Maria is built on the site of the Roman 
Capitol ; then there are St. Martins, St. Andrews, 
where is the tomb of Albertus Magnus, and in the 
church of the Minorites is buried Duns Scotus, 
with a tombstone bearing the inscription, ''Scotia 
me geftuit, Anglica me sitscepit, Gallia me doaiit, Col- 
onia me tenet." The Rathhaus, or Hotel de Ville, 

184 



or City Hall, was founded in the i3tli century. 
The portico was added in the i6th. This latter 
has inscribed upon it, in Latin, expressions of 
gratitude to Julius Caesar, Augustus, Agrippa, 
Constantine, Justinian, and the German Emperor 
Maximilian. The museum contains a valuable 
collection of antiquities. The monument to Fred- 
erick William III, is one of the best works of its 
class in Europe, It is in the Heumarkt. We 
rode over the fine bridges, saw the Zoological 
and Botanical Gardens, and much else of interest, 
Mary enjoyed baths in Cologne water ; she 
washed, drank and did all manner of things with 
it, even had tea made from it. They vs^ater the 
streets with it, and use it just as we do that of the 
Hudson river. For handkerchief and disinfecting 
purposes, we bought it in bottles. That which 
we purchased was "The Only Genuine Maria- 
Farina" We knew it was so, as it was obtained 
' in a shop directly opposite the Cathedral. There 
. are at least five hundred others, who claim the 
same genuiness, but they must be frauds. Any 
way, some one is not truthful. It may be Mary. 



185 



CHAPTER XIX. 

AMSTERDAM. HAARLEM. THE HAGUE. 
SCHEVENINGEN. 

"pT was Sunday when we left Cologne for Ams- 
^ terclam, "The Vulgar Venice," This was in 
accordance with our usual plan, Sunday and long 
rides being synonymous. We arrived early in 
the afternoon, which gave an opportunity of riding 
about the city. Holland had always been familiar 
in name, but not much of an acquaintance in 
fact. My forefathers came from this far-off 
land, and bequeathed to me many of their virtues 
but none of their vices. Mary's predecessors 
emigrated from Ireland. I need say nothing 
more. The country through which we passed 
was dotted everywhere with those giant wind- 
mills, too precious from tradition to be put aside 
for modern devices. We found a letter awaiting 
us from our daughter, and this added greatly to 
the health of mind and body we were enjoying. 
Amsterdam is the commercial capital of Hol- 
land. It is situated on the influx of the Amstel, 
an arm of the Zuiderzee. It has a fine harbor 
and a lively trade, especially with its colonies. 
Diamond cutting is one of the great industries, 

i86 



which process Mary was anxious to see. I had 
an experience at Venice in the lace manufactories 
that taught me a lesson. She did not go. All of 
the houses are built on piles, which gave rise to 
the joke of Erasmus, that he knew "a city, the in- 
habitants of which dwelt on the tops of trees like 
rooks." As I walked about I could not help 
bringing to mind old Peter Stuyvesant with his 
wooden leg, and the New Amsterdam so far away. 
What changes have taken place since the old 
fellows sailed westward, seeking an extension of 
their trade in the New World ! Everything is of 
interest here. The queer houses, the strange 
costumes, especially those worn by the people 
coming into town from neighboring burgs, the 
funeral processions and the "Schnapps." The 
language I could never seem to get hold of. It 
is a jargon to which my classic tongues and 
modern dialects give no aid. One must see Hol- 
and its inhabitants to obtain a real knowledge of 
what it and they are. We took in all we could, 
leaving much behind unseen, though wished for. 
The Dam is the focus of business life. It is a 
large square and owes its name to the position on 
the west side of the old embankment with which 
the foundation of the old city is connected. The 
Dam is surrounded by the Exchange, the Royal 
Palace, the Nieuwe Kerk, and many private 
houses. It is the center from which the principal 
streets diverge, and where the tram-way cars 

187 



gather. The Exchange is a handsome structure, 
built on 3469 piles, being completed in 1845. The 
Nieuwe Kerk, was erected in 1498, and is one of 
the most important in Holland, The monuments 
in the interior are all beautiful, and mostly dedi- 
cated to the memories of distinguished Admirals 
who fell in naval battles. The Royal Palace was 
begun in 1648. All the apartments are richly 
adorned with sculptures in white marble. The 
whole arrangement of both the exterior and in- 
terior carry us back to the days when a wealthy 
and powerful municipality congregated here. 

The Kalverstraat, is one of the chief thorough- 
fares, and contains fine shops, restaurants and 
cafes. The University contains excellent por- 
traits of eminent scholars. There is also a society 
of Arti et iYmicitias, with pictures and scenes from 
the history of the Netherlands. In the Rem- 
brandsplein is the statue of Rembrandt, and also 
his old house. Near is the house of Herr J. P. 
Six, containing a celebrated Gallery of Paintings. 
The Fodor Museum contains a valuable collection 
of paintings by ancient and modern masters, and 
for the study of the French school of the 19th 
century, is second to none save the Hertford 
collection in London. 

We went through the Jewish Quarter, finding 
a marked contrast to the ideal Dutch cleanliness 
of the rest of the city. The Jews form one-tenth 
of the population and have ten Synagogues. The 

188 



largest, that of the Portuguese Jews, is said to be 
in imitation of Solomon's Temple. The Ryks 
Museum is the finest and most charming of all 
the places we saw. It contains over three hun- 
dred rooms filled with the most exquisite pictures, 
porcelain, statues, weapons, engravings and works 
of art. The Dutch school is fully represented, 
Rembrandt especially. It is too large and grand 
to attempt a description of any part. j\lary was 
particularly interested, as I see her catalogue is 
filled v/ith marks of pictures, etc., that pleased her. 
Mary had grown b}^ this time to be quite a con- 
noisseur, (of course under my tutorage,) and could 
pick out a good painting wdien she saw it, and 
tell the reason why it had merit. She has quite 
a mind, the only trouble being in keeping it in the 
right direction, and upon subjects she can grasp. 
Canals intersect the city in almost every part 
and wind in every direction. They are not so 
large as those in Venice, nor is there that beauty. 
They seem to have been made for short cuts to 
the harbor. You may drive along their banks, 
which are the streets of the town, beneath grand 
old trees, which give shade and shelter, making 
the thoroughfare cool, and producing a most pic- 
turesque appearance. It is with difficulty I re- 
strain my pen from writing more of this quaint 
old city, its parks, gardens, museums, all that 
make up a part of the history of my native state. 
Even if you do not go to see it, read about it, as 

189 



the story is enchanting-. We would fain have 
lingered here, and gone into the little villages 
round about, to see what manner of men the de- 
scendents of the old Dutchmen were, their homes 
and mode of life, but our time was g-rowing short 
and Mary was anxious to reach Paris in order to 
pick out that new bonnet. We did, however, take 
a day off, going to — 

HAARLEM 

that we might spend a few hours with an Amer- 
ican lady who had won a bright Dutchman 
for a husband. It was an enjoyable visit, for I 
heard nothing but English spoken, and sat down 
to a real home dinner. Pie and bread, delicious 
cheese, common food I may say, such as I have at 
home. We had grown tired of the everlasting 
table d' hote, with the rolls that break your teeth, 
and the pastry that is made of nothing but sugar 
and foam. It was home-like, with a darling little 
boy who carried us back in memory to our chil- 
dren so far away. We feasted, not on the variety 
but on the quality of the viands. Then the talks, 
the recounting the "alls" that had happened since 
the departure of our friend from her native land. 
I tell you it was great. While sitting in the library 
of this delightful residence on Flora Park during 
the time my wife was arranging her toilet, I put 
out my hand to take a magazine, thinking to 
spend the moments in learning a bit of the Dutch 
language, when what should meet my astonished 

190 



gaze but a newspaper from my own city. It was 
of recent date, and full of items which told me 
how the boys were getting on. I read every let- 
ter in that paper, advertisements and all. I found 
some of my friends had moved away, that my 
own son had changed his business, that some had 
died. Letters had been few and far betV'/een, but 
this little paper "filled a long felt want." My 
wife's name and my own were mentioned, and 
the public informed how w^e were getting on. 
This, no doubt, was learned from letters written 
to friends. 

Haarlem is one of the cleanest cities of Holland, 
and has a special pride in the fact. It has large 
manufactories, well kept gardens and prome- 
nades, while tulips bloom everywhere, as they do 
all over the country. The Groote Kerk, erected 
in the 15th century is noted for its organ. In it is 
a monument to the memory of Conrad, the engi- 
neer who constructed the locks of Katwyk. There 
is a sounding board over the pulpit, and a cannon 
ball in the wall, the latter a reminiscence of the 
Spanish siege. Outside of the church, but really 
in it, is a fish-market. About the doors and along 
the side was the greatest collection of old used up 
traps I ever saw. Old locks, nails, pans, carpenter's 
tools, all lying on the ground and all for sale, a 
sort of out-door market for trash. In the market 
place is the bronze statue of Coster, the alleged 
inventor of printing. In the Town Hall, built in 

191 



the I2tli century, nearly opposite the church is 
the museum. It contains a small but valuable 
picture gallery, the only one where it is possible 
to become acquainted with the jovial Frans Hals, 
the greatest colorist of the Dutch painters next 
to Rembrandt. 

Haarlem is adorned with parks, horticulture 
giving display to myriads of flowers, as hyacinths, 
tulips, crocuses and lilies. Some of these gardens, 
well repay a visit. Our friend guided us to every 
place that had enjoyment in it, and as the shadows 
fell, we returned to Amsterdam. From Amster- 
dam we went to — 

THE HAGUE 

once the hunting-seat of the Counts of Holland, 
whence its Dutch name 'S Graven Hage, or den 
Haag (i. e. "the Count's enclosure," or "hedge." 
It has been for centuries the favorite residence of 
the Dutch princes. It possesses many broad and 
handsome streets, lofty and substantial houses, 
spacious and imposing squares. While there are 
many important and beautiful public buildings, 
the chief attraction is the Picture Gallery, 
(Koninklyle Kabinet van Schilderyen) founded by 
the princes of the House of Orange. Rembrandt 
and Potter are the heroes of the collection. The 
catalogue now numbers upward of four hundred 
and fifty paintings, the greatest number belong- 
ino; to the Dutch school. The -oictures which 



192 



attract the most attention are, Rembrandt's cele- 
brated School of Anatomy, and Potter's Bull. 
The former called back my days of medical col- 
lege life, making me wish I were a boy again. It 
was painted for the Amsterdam Guild of Surgeons 
in 1632 and intended to be hung in the Dissecting 
Room. It is said to be "the truest and most life 
like representation of the working intellect ever 
produced." The other, the far-famed Bull of Paul 
Potter, is the most popular picture in the collection. 
The fly on the animal causing many ludicrous 
mistakes, as not a few attempt to brush it off. 
Many statues adorn the city. In the Plein is that 
of Prince William I, in bronze. In the Buttenhof, 
the bronze statue of Vv^illiam II. In front of the 
Royal Palace, built in the time of Stadtholder, 
William III, is the equestrian statue of Prince 
William I, of Orange. 

The Town Hall, Municipal Museum and Li- 
brary contain statuary and paintings with other 
objects of art, the latter a valuable collection of 
coins, medals and gems. In the center of Willems 
Park, stands the National Monument, unveiled 
in 1869, to commemorate the restoration of Dutch 
Independence in 181 3, and the return of William 
of Orange, who afterward became King. The 
principal churches are the Groote Kerk, and the 
Nieuwe Kerk. There are Zoological and Botani- 
cal gardens, and many houses and residences of 
men whose ancestors lived a life of virtue and 

193 



died distinguished. An attractive spot, not to be 
missed in a visit to The Hague, is the "House 
in the Wood," the Huisten Bosh, a royal villa, 
erected in 1647 for the Princess Amalia of Solms, 
the widow of Henry of Orange. The interior 
contains many pictures, the best being in the 
dining-room, the latter having imitations of bas- 
reliefs, producing a perfect illusion. 

Nearly all the commoner children wear wooden 
shoes (sabots) as do the laboring men and women. 
No where did we see so many in use. Though 
they look clumsy, they appear to be worn with as 
much ease and comfort as their leathern brothers. 
J thought of buying a pair for Mary, as they are 
cheaper than those she has made to order, and I 
think would last as long and do more service. I 
could hear her coming if I were alone with a 
pretty girl. This would save embarrassment. 
While here I did a little shopping for Mary. 
Buttons will come off, and garments rip and tear. 
Our clothing began to show the effects of use, but 
we were trying to keep them together, and appear 
decent until we arrived in Paris, where that bonnet 
was to be purchased, and where we also expected 
to add to our supply of raiment. I got what Mary 
wanted, and at the same time saw a good deal 
of the town, as I lost my way. 

ScHEVENiNGEN, a few miles from The Hague, 
is among the most noted bathing resorts on the 
continent, and the most expensive. It is fre- 

194 



quented by about 20,000 visitors annually, includ- 
ing ourselves. The bathing boxes, or baskets, 
are curious looking affairs, which stand all over 
the beach, one for each bather. We did not bathe, 
for many reasons. One of which was, that I pre- 
ferred to wait till I reached Paris, where I under- 
stood beautiful young ladies assist in the 
operation. Mary did not know this, but accepted 
my excuses for not going into the water. 

As we were seated in the carriage on leaving 
The Hague, just about to start for the station, 
one of the servants of the hotel opened the car- 
riage door, and informed me I had forgotten to 
remember him. His cheek was so angelic, I put 
ray hand into my pocket and gave him a franc. I 
was not forgotten, in this respect at least, no 
matter where I went. 



195 



CHAPTER XX. 

ANTWERP. 
"Smiling at us witli its fair towers." 

"I^ RQM The Hague we left for Antwerp, pass- 
-^^ ing through Rotterdam where we had in- 
tended stopping, but that Paris bonnet broke up 
more plans and good intentions than anything I 
ever met, unless it is old age. 

Antwerp is the most interesting town in Bel- 
gium, the principal arsenal of the kingdom, and 
one of the strongest fortresses in Europe. Here 
Rubens was born. Antwerp is true to art, and 
looks just like its pictures. Even the dread of 
having to open your trunk for inspection by the 
Custom Officers does not mar the pleasure of see- 
ing it. The officials were very lenient, and let 
everything pass. I think it was because the in- 
spector on looking at our trunk, concluded, with 
rare judgment, the owners of such an outfit could 
not afford to smuggle anything. There is an old 
saying that "Brussels rejoices in noble men, Ant- 
werp in money, Louvain in learned men, and 
Mechlin in fools, for the people go to bed at 7 
o'clock." This inspector did not come from 
Mechlin. 

196 



The fascinating influence of Rubens cannot be 
appreciated without a visit to this delightful city, 
where his finest works are preserved. Our hotel 
was at the side of the Cathedral, whither we 
wended our way as soon as we had eaten luncheon. 
It is the largest and most beautiful Gothic church 
in the Netherlands. It was begun in 1352, and 
does not as yet appear completed. In 1566 it was 
seriously damaged by puritanical zealots, and 
again by fire and the French Republicans. The 
interior is grand and impressive, the vaulting 
being supported by 125 pillars. Here are the two 
celebrated paintings by Rubens. "The Descent 
from the Cross," and "The Elevation of the Cross." 
The former is what is called a "winged" picture, 
that is, shut up in a kind of box, ostensibly to 
keep the dust from soiling it, but really to get a 
fee for showing it. The other is covered by a 
curtain for the same reason. Over the high altar 
is his "Assumption," said to have been painted in 
sixteen days. In one of the chapels is the "Resur- 
rection," painted for his friend the printer More- 
tus. Plantin's tomb is another, bearing an in- 
scription on the stone by Justus Lipsius. There 
are a lot more pictures and stone saints, candles 
and other bric-a-brac, I have not time to describe. 
If the Cathedral lacks in anything, it makes up the 
loss in noise. It has a chime of ninety-nine bells, 
very different in the quality of tone from those 
spoken of in the church at home. Near the tower 

197 



outside the church is the famous well, with its 
iron canopy, wrought by Quentin Matsys, the 
blacksmith artist. It is a love story, too long to 
be written here. Matsys is buried close beside 
the tower, and his tombstone, which has been re- 
moved to the museum, says in curious old Latin, 
"Love converted an ironsmith into an Apelles." 

Things are all together in Antwerp. You are 
not obliged to walk or ride miles to see the differ- 
ent objects of interest. This saves a lot of trouble 
and a large waste of money. In front of the 
Cathedral is the Place Verte, formerly a church- 
yard, and adorned with a statue of Rubens in 
bronze. It seems not only to be the market-place 
and flower-mart, but the abode of more dogs than 
any other spot in the world. The ringing of the 
bells, and the barking of the dogs, got me out of 
bed earlier than I usually rise when on a tour for 
health. Here too are the Postoffice, the street 
car center, the best cafes and stores. It is the 
center of the city's life. In the square is an im- 
mense iron fountain representing Silvius Brabo 
throwing the giant Antigon's hand into the 
Scheldt. There is a legend about this, as well as 
about everything in Antwerp, but you must read 
them up in some other book. 

Most of the houses in the Grand Place are 
"Guild Houses," formerly occupied by the differ- 
ent corporations, and dating from the i6th and 
17th centuries, the coopers, tailors, carpenters, 

198 



and others. The Hotel de Ville is situated here, 
containing- more interesting- pictures. I was 
shown through it by a mighty pretty girh Mary 
was at tlie hotel, resting. A few steps from the 
City Hall is the Vielle Boucherie, or old fish-mar- 
ket. Farther on is a statue in marble of Van 
Dyck. Near is the Academic des Beaux Arts. 
Then comes the Musee Kums with one hundred 
and seventy paintings. Still farther the Capuchin 
Church, erected in 1589, containing two valuable 
pictures, one by Van Dyck, the other by Rubens. 
Of course it has others. A little beyond, is the 
church of St. Augustine, erected in 161 5, also 
having paintings by Rubens. Near the Rue 
National is the Platin-Moretus Monument, filled 
with interesting relics of these ancient painters, 
copies of their work, presses, plates, proof reading 
stalls with the names of the readers above them, 
everything belonging to these wonderful men. 
The business was started in the house of Christo- 
pher Platin in 1 549, 

The Church of St. Jacques, built near the end of 
the 15th century, contains the tomb of Rubens, 
and is next to the Cathedral in magnificence, con- 
taining more sumptuous monuments and decora- 
tions. St Andrew's Church is, like all the others, 
stone saints and pictures. It was built, they say, 
in 1 5 14 and looks as if it had been. St. George is 
another. The Museum is a fine one. To write 
about all the pictures and articles in it, would only 
be to, rewrite the catalogue. You may buy one 
for two or three francs, so I am not going to 

199 



waste time over it. Van Dyck's and Ruben's and 
a lot of other celebrated masters are all over the 
city, that is, their paintings, and you get your 
money's worth in seeing them. 

One of the curious churches is that of St. Paul, 
built in 1540. It contains Ruben's "Scourging of 
Christ." The garden is the interesting place. 
Down in a cave are representations in stone of 
heaven and the other place, of Christ on the cross, 
and lying in the tomb, happy looking angels, and 
unfortunate gentlemen behind bars amid flames, 
begging for water, as they had no use for money. 
Then there is Mount Calvary, with saints and all 
the Apostles in stone. Above, that is outside in 
the garden, are more saints and apostles. If the 
garden were larger there would be more, but the 
artists have done well with what they had, in 
things terrestrial and celestial. You cannot ex- 
pect a man to do much in representing heaven 
and earth and the bad place within a few square 
feet. Near the Cathedral lies the former Jesuit 
Church, built in 16 14. It has a handsome facade 
and bell-tower. 

There are other parks, churches, and monu- 
ments, some of which we did not see, and if we 
had, are too numerous to describe in this already 
too long chapter. My pen tempts me to say some- 
thing concerning the elegant wharves, but I for- 
bear. It was Mary's birthday while here. I gave 
her a good dinner, one of my old Life Insurance 
Policies, and promised her a new bonnet when 
we reached Paris. I think that was doing well. 

200 



CHAPTER XXI. 

BRUSSELS. 

/^VER since our return from Europe we have 
^^ been asked "Did you see the Wiertz Mu- 
seum ?" I am happy to say we did not. It was 
not because we did not care to do so, but because 
it rained. I am glad it did rain, for it has given 
those who have seen it an opportunity to tell us 
how much we missed. If we had visited it, they 
would have said nothing about it. It is the same 
way with pictures. If any one asks me if I saw 
so and so, I tell them yes, for in the millions I did 
see, there was small chance of my missing it, and 
I do not feel I have told an untruth. Mary tries 
to be more exact, going to her Baedeker or cata- 
logue to see if it is marked in the proper place. 
By the time she has found out, the questioner has 
forgotten all about the question. My time is 
worth money, and I cannot waste it on such 
trifles. I have read it up, however, in the guide 
book, and do not think we have lost such an 
awful lot. We shall not make a special trip to 
see it. We saw everything else. 

Brussels is the capital of Belgium, and the 
residence of the Royal Family. It is situated 

20 1 



nearly in the center of the kingdom on the river 
Senne. The principal attractions are the Place Roy- 
ale, laid out in 1778, where is the chief traffic of the 
city. Here is the Church of St. Jacques sur Cau- 
denberg built in 1776. In front of the church is 
the statue of Godfrey de Bouillon, the hero of the 
first Crusade. Opposite is Montague de la Cour 
street, which though steep, has a stream of 
vehicles constantly passing through it. Here too 
are some fine shops. Not far off on another 
street is the Palace of the Comte de Flandre, to 
which we could not obtain admission. I do not 
think he recognized my card, The Palais Royal 
contains some ancient and modern pictures. A 
flag hoisted at the palace announces the King is 
at home. It was not up while we were there, or 
we should have called. Near the Royal Palace is 
the Palais des Academies, also called the Ducal 
Palace, formerly that of the Prince of Orange. It 
is occupied by societies of medicine, beaux-arts, 
and letters. In the garden about it are statues 
of Quetelet, the Astronomer, a Victor in bronze, 
Cain, a Discus-thrower, and a group of Cupid and 
Psyche. The Palais de la Nation is in the Rue 
de la Loi. It was erected in 1779. Around about 
are government buildings. 

The Colon ne du Congres is a fine monument 
erected to commemorate the Congre.ss of 183 1. It 
is 147 feet in height, and surmounted by a figure 
of the King in bronze 13 feet in height. Other 

202 



figures in relief are about it. The Cathedral (Ste. 
Gudule et St. Michel) is a fine Gothic structure, 
built in 1220. It contains much of interest in the 
way of stained glass, portraits in glass, monu- 
ments and carved work. Opposite the Cathedral 
is the National Bank. The Royal Library con- 
tains a vast number of ancient autographs, books, 
playing-cards and the like. The Musee Moderne 
contains over two hundred and twenty paintings, 
sculptures, and forty water colors and drawings 
displayed in eight rooms. In the upper town are 
the churches of Notre Dame des Victoires and the 
monument to Counts Egmont and Hoorn. As 
they were bad men they were executed. Later it 
was found a mistake had been made, so to offset 
the deed and make it right with some one, this 
monument was set up. 

Here are the palace of the Due d'Arenberg, 
erected in 1548, containing a small picture gallery, 
The Conservatory of Music, and the magnificent 
Palais de Justice. This is the largest building in 
the world, St. Peter's at Rome not excepted. It 
is a mass of sculptured and polished marble, sur- 
mounted by a tower 400 feet high. In the rotunda 
are colossal figures of Justice, Law, Strength and 
Clemency. The flights of steps ascending to the 
vestibule are adorned with immense statues of 
Demosthenes and Lycurgus, Cicero and Domitius 
Ulpian. The interior includes twenty-seven large 
court rooms, two hundred and forty-five other 

203 



apartments, and eight open courts. The Waiting 
Room is in the center, under the dome, which has 
an interior height of 320 feet. It is the most mag- 
nificent building in itself I ever saw. In the lower 
part of the town, back of the Hotel de Ville, is the 
Manikin Fountain. It has quite a history. Mary- 
did not not like it. I brought home a little 
pewter imitation, so as not to forget it. 

The Grande Place is said to be one of the finest 
mediaeval squares in existence. In 1568, twenty- 
five nobles were beheaded here, for what, I do not 
remember. The mistake will be found out later, 
and all will get monuments. The Hotel de Ville, 
is one of the noblest and most beautiful buildings 
in Belgium. There are a lot of empty niches on 
the facade, perhaps intended for monuments to 
those executed nobles. Opposite the Hotel de 
Ville is the Halle au Pain, better known as the 
House of the King. It was formerly the seat of 
the government authorities. There was an earlier 
building on the present site, said to have been 
occupied by Pope Innocent II, and King Bernard. 
Then there are the churches of Notre Dame de 
la Chapelle, the Musee Commercial, the Guild 
Houses, the Galerie St. Hubert, markets, theaters, 
exchanges, beautiful streets, promenades and 
parks too numerous to mention. The Martyrs' 
Monument, erected in 1838 to the memory of the 
Belgians (445) who fell in 1830 in the war against 
the Dutch, is one of the finest we saw in the city. 

204 



We did not go to the Zoological gardens, as we 
were tired of seeing half-fed animals. They all 
look alike, but please the small boy. They may 
go. Mary is lion enough for me and does not ap- 
pear starved. 

One thing I saw astonished me. It was a 
Belgian pie. Thirty inches across the top, and 
two inches thick, large enough for a Thanksgiving 
dinner to all your next of kin. I did not eat 
one. Mary did, but bought it with her own money. 
She had recovered entirely from the cold taken 
at Berlin. It was so wet and rainy, we did not 
go over to the field of Waterloo. I had been on 
enough battle fields, being married, and did not 
care to spend money for relics I knew were not 
genuine. Mary and I had no fight over the mat- 
ter, I giving in as usual. 

There was a blamed pretty chambermaid at the 
hotel I wanted Mary to engage for our home in 
America. She declined on the ground she did not 
speak French well enough to bother with her. I 
do not think this was the real reason she had in 
mind. Of course Mary bought more lace, as she 
had heard it was well made in this city. It looked 

as moth eaten as any she has. I bought , well 

never mind. 



205 



CHAPTER XXIL 

PARIS. VERSAILLES. 
"Where Love reigns, disturbing Jealousy." 

T^ARis takes five letters only to spell it, and an 
-^ entire encyclopedia to describe it. The dif- 
ference is so great between the two, I shall not 
attempt it. Mary and I took in all we could dur- 
ing the day, I taking in more at night, when it 
was not prudent for her to be out. I do not 
wonder Mary prefers being buried here, rather 
than at Pisa. I certainly should, and have the 
resurrection the next morning. Paris is so 
near New York, it would be a v/aste of ink to 
speak of its architectural and art beauties. We 
read of them almost daily, and see them in print, 
taken like shadows, but not so departing. Its 
joys, its pleasures, its abandon, all that goes to 
make up its gay and butterfly life, must be met 
in person, to know what they are. No words can 
convey the faintest idea. 

The ride over had not been so pleasing as we an- 
ticipated, the country having grown more familiar 
by reason of travel through Holland and Belgium. 
It was much the same, topographically. There 
was a long detention in the Custom House after 

206 



our arrival late in the afternoon, due either to the 
number of packao;es to be examined, or the 
thoroughness with which it was done. Ours passed 
quickly, no doubt due to the wisdom of the In- 
spectors, a sort of insight into our little trunk and 
bags. It was late after dinner, so save a short 
stroll, we retired early, in order to be prepared for 
the pleasures of the morrow. The morrow being 
Sunday, we rode about the city, into the Bois 
de Bologne, Champs Elysees, Champs de Mars, 
where is the Eiffel Tower, through the prin- 
cipal streets and Boulevards till we were tired. 
Late in the afternoon we strolled into the Louvre, 
more to get an idea of what was to be seen 
than to see. We visited it daily, and before we 
left had viewed all its treasures of art, from the 
Immaculate Conception to the Venus de Milo. 
Words cannot describe what is here gathered. 

This same evening (Sunday) I, not being able 
to understand preaching in the French language, 
and as it was also long after the hours of service, 
went down into the Latin Quarter to call on 
Trilby. Her mother told me she had gone to a 
dance. This I thought strange, and as I never had 
done it on Sunday, regarding such a performance 
as wrong, forthwith went in search of her to bring 
her home. I went to the place where the ball 
was being held, to hunt her up. When I arrived, 
I found several hundreds of ladies and gentlemen 
had accepted invitations for a good time. It was 

207 



what is called "The Student's Ball," a very un- 
ceremonious affair, taking place regularly twice a 
week, on Thursday and Sunda.y evenings. When 
I am in Paris, I do as the Parisians do, so joined 
the choir and went in for what was to be had. In 
Paris, Sunday comes next month, so I violated 
no moral law. Every one was glad to see me 
and made me feel much at my ease. The young 
ladies were particularly attentive, asking me to 
invite them to a glass of wine. I did, as I believed 
it to be the proper thing to do under the circum- 
stances, which were novel, and good practice for 
the next time. I never knew exactly how it 
occurred, by accident I presume, but one of the 
ladies kicked off my hat. This taught me if I 
were to keep up with the procession while here, 
I must assume a virtue if I had it not, so the follow- 
ing day I shaved off my beard, including the two 
or three grey hairs, and came out a comparatively 
young looking man. As the hat had become rather 
rusty after so much exposure to sea and travel, I 
decided to change it for one better adapted to my 
now younger years. I did so without informing 
Mary. It was a mistake. As the weather was 
warm, I judged alight straw would be the fro?nage, 
(as we say in French) so bought what I thought 
became my style of form and beauty. I did this 
on my own responsibility, and appeared before 
her with the purchase on my head. Words fail 
to express her disapproval, I suppose she would 

208 



say "disgust." I thought it mighty fine, and felt 
if I could bring it home, it would be the admira- 
tion, if not the envy of my male friends. It was 
only a simple white straw hat, with the brim dyed 
a beautiful blue on the underside, and around the 
crown a ribbon of white and red silk. What could 
be more simple? Mary had interviewed the 
monument of art but a few seconds, when in 
language similar to that used on the ship when 
I brought back the change from the smoke-room, 
ordered me to exchange it. I did so at the cost 
of two francs to boot. I have always been sorry 
I did, but it is better to make such mistakes, than 
to have Mary down on you. The hat, I must say, 
gave her a motherly appearance when we were 
together, producing a boyish look in me, the very 
thing I desired. Nearly all, (there were few ex- 
ceptions) of my purchases thereafter, were made 
through her advice. They cost more in the end, 
but avoided a row. My sister, her husband and 
daughter, met us while here, having come up 
from Genoa through Switzerland. My sister and 
niece, with Mary, bought that bonnet so fre- 
quently spoken of, but no consultation was held 
with me as to my opinion on so gigantic a trans- 
action. You will readily see the difference. 

We were fortunate enough to find Opera going 
on. That bonnet and the rest of us went, and we 
had a box, too, more for the bonnet than for any- 
thing else. It gave us an opportunity to see the 

209 



interior of the Grand Opera House lighted, its 
magnificent staircase, and Foyer. The opera was 
Faust. No great artists, in the role, but there 
were angels in the ballet. This latter is said to 
be the finest in the world. I regret not having 
seen the others for the purpose of comparison. 
Nevertheless it was by far the most gorgeous 
spectacle of the kind I had ever witnessed, re- 
minding me of the days of "Black Crook" when 
that celebrated play made its first appearance in 
New York, when Bonfanti and Sangalli as- 
tonished the city by their grace of action and 
pose. 

I well remember the day that bonnet arrived. 
It was delivered by a young lady and a small dog. 
We had two rooms, (a double apartment) adjoin- 
ing. Mary had the better, of course, and to this, 
the aforesaid young lady with the precious bundle 
came. That was all proper enough and I found 
no fault. Now I had the larger looking-glass. 
When the darling was taken from the box, and 
handed to my wife, I suggested that she and the 
jewel should go into my quarters to see if it was 
on straight, leaving the young lady with me, that 
I might see if were not possible to get two francs 
reduction in the price to make up for the loss on 
my hat. Would she do it ? Not much. I have 
always had a suspicion she thought I was in for a 
deal for another hat for myself, but there is no 
knowing a woman's thoughts, they may have been 

210 



entirely different. As to the bonnet, I never had 
a great opinion of it. I saw no difference between 
those she buys at home, except in price. That of 
this Parisian affair was greater. 

Our guide was a young fellow about my age 
who became very much attached to us, or at least 
to me. One evening he took me to the "Moline 
Rouge," a queer kind of church, but the congre- 
gation was large and the music fine. While walk- 
ing about, some pretty young ladies addressed 
him in Spanish. Now as he spoke English but 
little better than I spoke French, I found another 
tie between us. We gave up our patois, and 
thereafter used Castillian only. Through this 
brotherhood I saw many things I might other- 
wise have missed. I wds glad I knew Spanish. 
While we were in Paris we happened to strike 
some of the party of "The Ancient and Honorable 
Artillery," who had come over from Boston to 
London on an excursion of some sort, and were 
now taking in the sights of the gay capital. Among 
the number were a clergyman and his most inti- 
mate friend, perhaps a deacon, or elder in his 
church, perhaps neither. One night my friend 
the guide, asked me if I would not like to take 
some one with me for a stroll. The elder (?) and 
I had grown quite intimate, so I told him I had 
an opportunity of seeing some of the "Delights," 
and asked him to be my guest. He told me he 
could not go, unless his friend the clergyman went 

211 



with him, as he had promised the clergyman's 
wife to keep an eye on him while here, I said 
that was perfectly agreeable. The minister how- 
ever, refused, so neither went. It was better in 
the end. What reasons the reverend gentleman 
gave as an excuse, are unknown to me, but I sur- 
mise. I think it likely he feared that on some 
occasion the friendship might be broken, and one 
of the two give the other away. Why should he ? 
If it is worth the while to build up a character, 
what does it amount to if it will not come to the 
rescue when occasion demands? My character 
took me through. Ask Mary. 

There are some wonderful things to be seen in 
Paris, if you can get on to them. I would like to 
tell all about them, but have not room in the 
present volume. I may write an appendix. Mary 
did a good deal of sight-seeing in the Maisons du 
Louvre, and the Bon Marche. While she was 
viewing these grand stores, I was visiting as my 
fancy dictated. It feels good to be free now and 
then. I struck one store where photographs were 
sold, not only on cards, but on boxes, fans, pipes, 
cigar cases and any other handy thing for orna- 
ment, or personal use. Mary was with me at the 
time, but objected to my buying what pleased my 
fancy. I therefore resolved to go to it again the 
next day to make such purchases of views as I 
desired, but never could find the place. Mary 
said she could, but would not. I think the con- 

212 



eern burned up in the night, for it mysteriously 
disappeared from my ability ever to discover it. 
She never lost the bonnet shop. Had she done 
so, and I had known where it was I would have 
told her. 

The only rascally piece of business committed 
while on our outing was by Mary. The day I 
ascended the Eiffel Tower, she refused to go, 
fearing the height (nearly looo feet) would make 
her dizzy. So while I mounted, she hired a chair 
from an old woman, and on m.y return did not 
pay for its use. Ten centimes, two cents of our 
money, is too small an amount out of which to 
beat a person, and were I she, would never put 
my face in the town again. When I go over alone 
I shall pay the bill with interest. I enjoy a clear 
conscience. We visited many of the hospitals, the 
morgue (behind the church of Notre Dame) in 
Vv^hich were two bodies. In Notre Dame we saw 
the recent grave of Pasteur, covered with flowers. 
The monument has not as yet been erected. We 
spent an afternoon in the cemetery of Pere La- 
chaise. Here a guide took us to all tombs of 
interest. It is a poorly kept plot, the graves being 
rented for a longer or shorter term of years, or in 
perpetuity. Of course we saw that of Abe- 
lard and Heloise. I guess Mark T^vain tells the 
truth about the parties, or v/hat is left of them. 
To me there was a vast deal of professional in- 
terest in the tombs of the great French Surgeons 

213 



and Physicians, as Amiisat, Claude Bernard, Bi- 
chat, Dupuytren, Nelaton and a host of others. 
Here, in the sweetest rest are many of the great 
musical composers, Auber, Cherubini, Pleyel, and 
their peers. Marshalls of the Empire under Na- 
poleon, from Ney to Suchet, Presidents, Revolu- 
tionists, Novelists, Painters, men and women who 
have crowned kings and v/recked Empires. It is 
a v/onderful spot, this "God's Acre." Sarah Bern- 
hardt has her tomb already erected, and on each 
visit to the capital, daily places flowers upon it 
with her own hands. Lafayette is not buried 
here, but in the little cemetery of Picus in a street 
of the same name. The great Actress Rachel 
lies in the Israelite cemetery adjoining Pere La- 
chaise, with other noted Hebrews. We wSaw the 
most interesting. 

We rode over to Versailles with our guide. 
Here again is a book by itself. After all nothing 
can be told of Paris, it must be seen. Like Rome 
it has a history, which can only be truly read and 
understood by seeing it as it is. We used up 
considerable small change in one way or 
another, Mary buying gloves, laces and traps 
such as a man knows nothing about. I tried to 
buy photographs, but you know my experience. 



214 



CHAPTER XXIII. 

LONDON. 
KEW. HAMPTON COURT. WINDSOR. ETON. 

E went over to London by the way of Calais 
and Dover. The day was warm and the 
channel passage smooth, though some on board 
were made ill. It was a welcome sound to hear 
again all speech about you in a tongue that gave 
no chance of misinterpretation. The ride from 
Dover to London was charming. Everywhere 
about were cultivated farms, blooming gardens, 
comfortable homes. We saw none of that "Pauper 
Labor" politicians talk so much about during 
election campaigns either here, or elsewhere, un- 
less it was in Italy, where other circumstances 
govern, as the Church, a depreciated currency, etc. 
London, I must talk of as I did of Paris. I 
cannot describe the many places of interest we 
visited, it is too big. I did not take a fancy to it, 
though there may have been a reasonable cause. 
We went to one of those family temperance 
hotels, kept by a friend of a friend of mine. You 
could get nothing to drink with your dinner, and 
were locked out of the house if not at home 
by midnight. It was clean, delightfully situated, 

215 



just the place for women and retired clergymen, 
In 'the words of Artemus Ward "for those who 
like it, it is just such a place as such people like." 
It was however to me, personally, a great change, 
coming from the gay capitals of the Continent, 
with their fine hotels, and all the freedom you de- 
sired. Mary liked it, "it was so quiet." Situated 
at the side of the British Museum, near Holborn 
street, it is a convenient point from which to 
start for all places. The meals did not suit us. 
At breakfast the coffee was mixed, as if we were 
children. I never drink milk in mine, but here 
could not get it otherwise. Then again, the 
bread was passed from one boarder to another 
and he, or she, cut off a piece the size desired, by 
holding onto the body of the loaf. Who knew 
where their hands had been last ? Some one, 
without doubt, eventually swallowed the microbes 
which came off the loaf. You are obliged to "eat 
your peck of dirt" during your life-time I know, 
but you take it with less disgust when you are not 
aware of its presence, than when you see it laid 
on. After the first meal we took all others else- 
where. We still continued to breakfast here, as 
going out early in the morning was most inconve- 
nient for Mary, but I gave up coffee and bread. 
Mary stuck to tea and somehow or other got some 
rolls. The closing of the doors at 12 P. M. was an 
affliction, and broke up many a good tim.e. I can 
never forgive them for causing me to leave the 

216 



finest display of living' pictures I ever saw on the 
stage. It brought me other anxieties, but was a 
comfort to Mary. 

Fortunately for us, two old friends were resi- 
ding in the city, both playmates of mine in 
younger days. One a chemist of renown, whose 
fame grows as his life lengthens and the results 
of his labor are given to the world. The other' 
an artist, whose works adorn the National Gallery 
in London, and other galleries in the great cities 
of Europe, and Avho in loving remembrance of our 
boyhood had painted for me a little picture of a 
bit of English landscape, embodying in it all the 
genius and art which have won for him so many 
laurels. These two made I^ondon life endurable- 
The city itself is old, black, and without private 
beauty. The palaces, courts, public buildings, 
abbeys, churches and monuments are grand, not 
only in structure, but in their histories. The best 
way to see London, is from the top of a 'bus. 
This I did as often as I could get av^^ay from 
Mary, riding into all parts of the city, accompanied 
by my friend the chemist. Together, Mary and 
I did well with the ''Hansoms," a two-wheel sort 
of cab, which needs no description. 

Of all places, Westminster Abbey was the spot 
I most desired to visit, as being "the only National 
place of Sepulchre in the world." I wished to see 
the spot which contained the remains of Charles 
Darwin, the man who did so much to remove the 

217 



scales from the eyes of dogmatic theology, and 
made religion more precious and men happier, 
and of whom some one, paraphrasing the script- 
ure says, "God said, let Darwhi be, and there was 
light." I desired to stand by the tomb of Major 
Andre, of whom my great-grandfather took 
charge, by order of Gen. Washington, the night 
before his execution. My great-grandfather, I 
think was a witness to Andre's will. He saw him 
draw the portrait of himself which is now in 
Trumball Gallery in Yale College, and com- 
manded the guard which hung him the next 
morning. My great-grandfather was a captain on 
Gen. Washington's staff, and these facts have been 
often told me by his son, my grandfather. On 
the tomb was a little bunch of withered flowers, 
tied with a white ribbon, having a card attached 
on which were written these words : "From an 
English woman in America, to be placed on 
Major Andre's monument in Westminister Ab- 
bey." I thought well of the woman for her 
loyalty, as well as of the patriotism of my great- 
grandfather who hung him. The intentions of 
both were good. I can say nothing else here of 
the Abbey, it is so immense, so full of history, so 
awe-inspiring. Book after book has been written 
concerning it, yet the half has not been told. The 
same may be said of St. Paul's and of the Tower. 
If but a single day is to be spent in London, these 
three places should be visited, if nothing else. 

218 



Of the Tower and of St. Paul's I must say a few- 
words. The Tower is the most interesting spot 
in England. It was once an ancient fortress and 
gloomy prison, surrounded by a moat. At first a 
royal palace, it is best known as a prison. Within 
is a collection of armor, ancient and m±odern, the 
Crown Jewels, magnificent to be sure, but not in 
my opinion equal to those in the treasury at 
Vienna. The Koh-i-Noor was absent, they prob- 
ably having heard of Mary's coming, and her ac- 
tion toward the old v/oman in Paris. Plere in the 
White Tower are the axe which had brought death 
to so many, and the block with the marks of the 
blade upon it. Outside and in different parts of the 
building are stationed the quaintly attired "Beef 
Eaters," old soldiers who had been discharged 
after meritorious service. Each of the twelve tow- 
ers making up "The Tov/er" has an indissoluble 
history, connected with it, with marked and pain- 
ful memories. In the Bloody Tower the sons of 
Edward IV were murdered. In the Bell Tower 
the Princess Elizabeth was confined by her sister 
Queen Mary. Lady Jane Grey is said to have been 
imprisoned in the Brick Tower, Lord Dudley in 
Beauchamp Tower. In the Bowyer Tower the 
Duke of Clarence, brother of Edward IV, is popu- 
larly supposed to have been drowned in a cask of 
beer, and Henry VI is believed to have been mur- 
dered in Record Tower. The Beauchamp Tower 
was to us the most interesting of all. Here upon 

219 



the walls are the inscriptions made by the hands 
of those who died upon the scaffold, and of those 
who languished within its cells. These inscrip- 
tions were the more interesting, in as much as we 
knew they constituted the employment by which 
their unfortunate authors beguiled the tedious 
hours of their dreary captivity, or perhaps, strove 
to drown the remembrance that in a few short 
hours they must prepare to meet an untimely end. 
Near by is the Chapel of St Peter ad Vincula. 
Within it we saw the graves of Sir Thomas More, 
Queen Anne Boleyn, the Earl of Essex, Cather- 
ine Howard, Lord Seymour, Lord Somerset, Lady 
Jane Grey, and her husband Lord Dudley and 
others known to fame and history. Those be- 
headed in the Tower itself, were Anne Boleyn, 
Catherine Howard, the Countess of Salesbury, 
Lady Jane Grey and the Earl of Essex. The 
other prisoners were executed on Tower Hill. Of 
this little chapel, Macaulay says : "In truth there 
is no sadder place on earth — death is here asso- 
ciated — with what ever is darkest in human na- 
ture and in human destiny, with the savage 
triumph of implacable enemies, with the incon- 
stancy, the ingratitude, the cowardice of friends, 
with all the miseries of fallen greatness and of 
blighted fame." After looking at the old armor 
in the White Tower, one of the attendants told 
me there was but a single American gun in the 
establishment, and asked if we would like to see 

220 



it. Of course we said yes. He brought forth 
from behind an old counter, a revolutionary flint 
lock, marked U. S. I gave him a tip for showing 
it, (that was what he was after) and told him to 
keep it securely as it was "the only one the 
English would ever get." He smiled. 

St. Paul's Cathedral resembles St. Peter's at 
Rome, but is vastly smaller. In front is a statue 
of Queen Anne, with England, France, Ireland 
and America at her feet. The interior strikes 
one as bare and dark, but is imposing from the 
beauty of the vastness of its proportions. It is a 
kind of National Temple of Fame. On the main 
floor are monuments to Wellington, Gordon, Na- 
pier, Dr. Samuel Johnson and other distinguished 
dead. Below in the Crypt, stands the polished 
granite sarcophagus of Wellington, and the mar- 
ble one of Nelson. At the end are the hearse and 
trappings used at the funeral of the "Iron Duke." 
Many other memorials of distinguished men are 
also here. 

Another object of interest was the "Old Curi- 
osity Shop." We looked into it, and thought of 
"Poor Little Nell." So day after day we kept 
visiting, in the evening taking a cup of tea at the 
rooms of the chemist, or supping with the artist 
and his charming wife, then to some place of 
amusement, then to Holborn Restaurant, Fras- 
cati's or the "Old Cheshire Cheese." This latter 
is the place or inn so often frequented by Sam 

221 



Johnson, Goldsmith and Dickens. We read the 
inscriptions over the seats in which they once sat, 
and tried to fill their vacant places. It was from 
here, while Goldsmith's land-lady was pressing 
him within doors and the bailiff without, that Dr. 
Johnson took the manuscript of the "Vicar of 
Wakefield" and sold it for three hundred dollars 
to James Newberry, returning with the money to 
set Goldsmith free. Over the bench so often oc- 
cupied by Johnson, engraved on a brass plate, is 
the following inscription from Boswell's Life of 
the Old Critic : "There is nothing which has 
yet been contrived by man, by which so much 
happiness is produced as by a good tavern or 
inn." He's right. Here is "ye old corner, ye old 
fire place, ye old stair way," and a portrait of "ye 
old waiter." We saw the beer mugs of these old 
giants of the literary world, and other memorials of 
their days. We drank beer and ate toasted cheese, 
smoked the long "Church Wardens" pipe as did 
they, and brought them home to the hotel un- 
broken, evidence that we were sober. I even 
brought mine to America, and still have it in per- 
fect preservation. I also bought one of the old 
mugs. Call upon me, and you shall have a draught 
from its interior. A short time before we left for 
home, one of the practitioners of my city came to 
our Asylum with his wife and little son. Together 
we enjoyed a few days in the Hospitals and about 
town. 

222 



Mary and I took a drive in Hyde Park. This 
is no simple matter. You are not allowed to g;o in 
a "Hansom" or in any ordinary carriage. You 
must put on your best "bib and tucker," have a 
swell turn-out, a driver in livery, with a "bug" on 
his hat, and all the trimmings of greatness. We 
did it, inviting our friend the chemist to accom- 
pany us. None of us had been surrounded by so 
much style since we were baptized. It is a beau- 
tiful place, filled with elegant carriages, their oc- 
pants dressed in the height of fashion, ladies and 
gentlemen on horse back, and a world of nobility 
about. We saw several Royal Nibs. It is here 
the magnificent Albert Memorial is located. 

Another spot I enjoyed visiting was the Charter 
House so connected with Thackeray's fictitious 
Col. Newcomb. Perhaps the fact that it was built 
(in 1 371) over the site of a burying ground for 
persons dying of the plague, lent an additional 
charm. 

We visited Kew Garden and Hampton Court 
on Sunday as is so frequently done, sailing 
up the Thames on one of the peculiar little 
steamers. I see by Mary's diary much is marked 
as being seen. The palace is the largest (royal) 
one in Great Britain. You will remember it was 
built in 1 5 1 5 by Cardinal Wolsey, and afterwards 
presented by him to Henry VIII. We did not ven- 
ture into the Maze, though we saw all that was 
worth seeing from Trophy Gate to the Lion Gate. 

223 



While Mary went shopping at "The Universal 
Provider's," the chemist and I took a day off to 
to see what was in Windsor and Eton. 

Windsor is more like a castle than any I had 
seen. It looks as do the pictures in "Jack the Giant 
Killer," high up, great walls about and turrets 
towering in the air. We engaged as a guide an 
old man who had lived here all his life, and who 
said he was present at the coronation of Queen 
Victoria. He took us everywhere, seeming to 
have a sort of right of way. The place is filled 
with monuments and pictures, chapels and prisons. 
The Albert Chapel contains the sarcophagi of 
the Prince Consort, the Duke of Albany, and 
the Duke of Clarence, eldest son of the present 
Prince of Wales. I went through the Royal 
stables, with some Duke or Prince. He may, how- 
ever, have been only the stableman, but he 
looked his station and was not below or above, 
taking a shilling for the trouble. 

Eton is within easy walk of Windsor, so over 
the bridge we went. It was vacation time, still 
we had a good look within and without. Of course 
while in London we dropped into Mme. Tassaud's 
Wax Work Show. We found a big crowd, and 
much to commend as well as much to dissatisfy. 
President Cleveland's wax figure, for instance. It 
was first, too short, second, too thin, looking as if the 
man weighed no more than 150 pounds ; third, he 
was dressed in a second-hand suit, no two articles 

224 



of which came from the same store. He looked a 
curiosity as I suppose the English people regarded 
him. But a short time before he had issued his 
celebrated message relative to the Venezuela 
matter. It was true, he was not all there, quite a 
little of him being left over, not many thousand 
miles away. We also saw the "greatest curiosity 
in the world," namely "the blade of the Guillotine 
which cut off the heads of 22,000 persons during 
the French Revolution." 

The day I returned from Windsor I found Mary 
happy. She had been to Whiteley's and elsewhere, 
bought a trunk and enough to fill it, after my 
new overcoats had been put in. She was also 
financially broke. They tell an amusing story of 
this Whiteley, which runs somewhat as follows: 
He (Whiteley) says there is no article on earth he 
cannot supply on demand. A party of gentlemen 
laid a wager they could stump him, so ordered a 
second-hand coffin to be sent to a certain address, 
at a certain hour that night. He agreed to do it. 
When the time arrived, a ring at the door an- 
nounced the arrival of the goods, accompanied by 
a note from Mr. Whiteley, saying he could "not 
furnish a second-hand article but the one sent is 
a misfit, and think it may answer the purpose." 
Every one who knows Whiteley will appreciate 
the full meaning of the joke. 

London is great. You who have been there will 
know that it cannot be described in any one vol- 

225 



ume. Its past and present history is well worth 
reading, not only as entertaining, but as adding 
to one's stock of knowledge. Says Dr. Johnson : 
"Sir, the happiness of London is not to be con- 
ceived but by those who have been in it. I will 
venture to say there is more learning and science 
within the circumference of ten miles from where 
we sit, than in all the rest of the kingdom," I 
could talk days, yes months over all we saw in 
even the little time we spent here. Come around 
after office hours, I will fill the old Chesire mug 
and spin yarns till you are sleepy. Perhaps you 
are so now. 

Letters of introduction had been given us to 
distinguished people residing near London, but we 
were unable to accept the invitations to call and 
dine, as the day following our arrival w^e were 
much indisposed from digestive trouble, no doubt 
caused by the water, and to cap the climax, a boil 
began in the inside of my nose. My feelings and 
appearance were a valid excuse for declining all 
social functions, so we stuck to the hotel and to 
the city till August 12th, at 12:30 p. m., when we 
left The London and North Western R. R. 
Station for Liverpool on our way home. 



226 



CHAPTER XXIV. 

HOMEWARD BOUND. 
"Home, there is a magic in that little word." 

WE reached Livei^pool at 4:30 p. m. The 
train was a "Special White Star Express," 
running in connnection with the ships of that Com- 
pany. We rode through a beautiful country at a 
rapid rate, with but little motion to the cars, and 
everything about them more American than I had 
seen in Europe. The steamer "Majestic" was at the 
wharf. At 5 p. M. the plank was hauled in, and 
we began our second voyage over the Atlantic. 
We saw nothing of Liverpool, beyond a glimpse. 
There is an elevated railroad in the town, and 
what I could see of the docks and wharves during 
the short time between the arrival of the train, 
and the departing of the ship, merited all the 
praise I had heard concerning them. The train 
in which we ran over, was loaded with the most 
motley lot of baggage I ever saw. Trunks, bags, 
boxes big and little, things that should have gone 
by freight the day before. They all got there, 
however. 

We reached Queenstown the next morning 
about 6 o'clock. For some cause the mails from 

227 



London were delayed, and we did not leave the 
harbor until i:io P. M. Many of the passengers 
went ashore, and had I known we should have 
been delayed so long, would have gone into the 
city and taken a ride in a jaunting car, with a 
pretty Irish maid. I do not know what Mary 
might have done. "The Emerald Isle" looks its 
color. While waiting, we were surrounded by 
bumboat women endeavoring to sell their wares, 
mostly alleged Irish laces in the shape of shawls, 
small blankets, hoods, and other ornamentations 
for the female form. I bought a few trinkets 
ma^e from bog-wood. 

When I went aboard the ship at Liverpool, I at 
once searched out the captain, (E. J. Smith, R. N. 
R.) to find if my clothing and rugs shipped from 
Genoa had been received. He said he did not 
know, but told me to ask the Second Steward. I 
asked him where I might find him, and again he 
said he did not know. If this was not ignorance, 
what is ? It seemed to me a captain of so large a 
ship as the "Majestic" should know where a little 
thing like the Second Steward could be found. 
The package came to our room all right, soon 
after we got under way. At Queenstown a num- 
ber of emigrants got on, three or four hundred at 
least. I remember one poor fellow who had 
brought his sister, or sweetheart, over on a tug. 
He was weeping bitterly, which rather makes me 
think it was a sweetheart. What a mystery lay 
before each. When will they meet again ? 

228 



The mails put on were enormous. Bag after 
bag-, directed to all parts of the world, China, 
Japan, Sandwich Islands, to South America, and 
to every State in our Union. It was several hours 
before they were stowed away in the hold. Time 
is taken from "Daunts Rock," just at the entrance 
to the harbor. On this trip the vessel made her 
best record, 5 days, 17 hours, 56 minutes to Sandy 
Hook Light Ship, beating all previous runs by 8 
minutes. She had just come off the dock, after 
having new screws put in. The weather through- 
out the voyage was fine, a smooth sea, with now 
and then a fog. Fogs are terrors. Nothing I 
know but fire, is so much to be dreaded. Vastly 
denser than on land, you run into them in an in- 
stant, and after sailing on and on, the deep toned 
whistle blowing every sixty seconds, you run out 
as suddenly into the clear sunshine. On the banks 
of Newfoundland we encountered them most fre- 
quently. Here we saw many fishing smacks, 
which had come from the shores of France. At 
times when the fog lifted, we could see them not 
more than two or three ships lengths off the side. 
I have often wondered if many were not run 
down. I think it must be so, as it always ap- 
peared we ran faster at such times, for in speed, 
I should judge lay the element of safety. The 
faster you go the worse for the boat struck. The 
ship (Majestic) was an immense one, fitted up 
like a grand hotel, with every comfort a passenger 

229 



could desire ; good food, comfortable rooms, at- 
tentive service, but more than all else was a feel- 
ing of perfect safety, which added a charm to the 
voyage. These with judicious speed seem to be 
the aim of this line. I met several acquaintances, 
and two or three old hospital chums, and with 
them, revived old times in the smoke room. One 
fellow was thankful I was aboard, I feel sure. He 
was a Spaniard. One day he stood looking at the 
chart, while I was in the same state of action, 
when I spoke to him, making some comments on 
the run, he replied in such a ^Ya.y, I at once knew 
he did not understand me, and from his utterance 
was sure of his nationality, I opened wide in the 
best Spanish I could muster. That fellow never 
let go of me till I walked off the gang plank at 
New York. He told me he was almost dead for a 
talk, but could not buy it on board. The longer 
I live, the more fortunate I find it for the world 
at large I was born. 

We did not bother about seats at table, taking 
what was left over. I went down into the saloon 
as soon as I could after leaving Liverpool to 
choose them, but found so long a line in waiting, I 
gave up the job as a bad one, preferring to be on 
deck, drinking in the ozone from the sea. We 
nevertheless got very good ones, with a very at- 
tentive waiter. This brings to mind the only ex- 
ample in the history of the world of not being 
able to fee an attache. It was at Naples, I think. 



After paying everybody I could find, I went in 
search of "Boots". I found him asleep. I shook 
him, holloed at him, but could not awaken him, so 
left in disgust. I guess he had been out with the 
boys the night before. He'll have a monument 
one of these days. 

Mary began "regulating" as soon as we were on 
board. We missed the genial good-fellowship of 
the "Lunatic," the doctor, the professor and his 
sister, as well as others who had been companions 
on the outward voyage. Consequently the pas- 
sage was less lively and we did not run the boat 
as we had on the outward journey. To make up 
for this disappointment, we had compent officers, 
all members of the Royal Naval Reserve, a clean 
ship and a feeling should accident occur we should 
be well taken care of, as the discipline of the crew 
was perfect. If ever you go to Queenstown, or 
Liverpool, go by one of the "White Star" vessels. 
You'll get there if seamenship can accomplish it. 
We made up our minds it was a good time to talk 
over the events of the past three months, and enjoy 
each other's society. It was rather novel as there 
were not so many opportunities for "dont's" and 
anticipation rather than moral retrospection held 
the higher cards. Mary read a great deal. She 
found her favorite books in the library, "The 
Outlaws of Missouri" and "How to Win at Cards." 
Again we were unfashionable in not being ill, 
but eating all they gave us, with luncheons be- 

231 



tween. Our chairs were well situated, as I feed 
the deck steward to place them and keep us out 
of the sun. 

We reached Quarantine about 3 A. M. Both of 
us felt so delighted we were soon to see our chil- 
dren and our home, wq could not sleep, so got up 
and went on deck. It was a beautiful morning, 
cool and refreshing. We remained above till we 
landed. We saw the face of our son-in-law beam- 
ing at us from the v/harf. We were told it was 
the intention of my daughter and son to meet us, 
but the ship arrived sooner than expected. We 
were just as glad to see him, if he was only a 
fraction of the family. The Custom House at 
New York is the worst in the world. They had 
the pleasure of pulling our trunks and bags inside 
out, and received their labors for their pains, as 
they found nothing dutiable under the then exist- 
ting law. Mary is a first-class smuggler. Her 
garments presented a much different appearance 
when she reached home, than when the officer in- 
terviewed them. Then they were decked off in 
laces from Venice, Brussels, and Paris. Jewelry 
adorned her person and that bonnet. She was 
gorgeous. An hour after reaching the house of 
our daughter, they were the same old traps I had 
seen so often in our little journey in the world. 

We remained a day in the city, and then re- 
turned to our nest, reaching our own fireside in 
just three months and two hours after leaving it. 

2^2 



On the ride up we had a chance to compare the 
virtues of American and Foreign cars. The 
palace car in which we were, seemed stuffy. A 
woman in the chair in front persisted in pulling 
down my shade, when I desired to look out. She 
wanted to run my seat as well as her own. The 
smoking compartment was filled with non- 
smokers, reading papers. I got a stool from the 
porter and sat in the vestibule. No such actions on 
the trains in Europe. Mary has her opinion, I 
have mine, we agree to disagree. 

At the home station our daughter-in-law with 
many friends awaited our arrival. I shook hands 
with all the males, and kissed all the girls, I 
knew it was a last opportunity for a while. Our 
home had been decked with garlands of flowers 
by loving hands, prompted by loving hearts. 
Upon the waiter in the hall were cards innumer- 
able congratulating us on our safe return. Friends 
began calling at once, so did practice. I had not 
been in the house an hour, before a patient, who 
had been suffering for some days, came for the 
performance of a minor surgical operation. As I 
had my instruments taken to my residence pre- 
vious to my departure, I was armed, and speedily 
relieved him. We retired late. 

The following morning I went to "Recovery 
Hall," and it seemed a long but pleasing journey, as 
I was so frequently stopped by friends who said 
they were glad to see me back. I found every- 

233 



thing in good shape, and calls already upon the 
slate, all to "come at once." The old round of 
life's tread-mill began. I gave away the holy beads 
and the relics I had bought. 1 still regretted not 
having that toe-joint, yet it may be best that what 
is left of the poor Saint should rest in what is 
regarded by some as Holy Ground. 

The Reporter of one of our prominent daily 
papers came to me after a few days, asking an 
interview, that the general public might know 
something of our trip in which it seemed to take 
much interest. I gave him a couple of columns. 
Since that time so many have heard me talk, 
have seen my enthusiasm, and asked so many 
questions, I decided to write down during my 
hours of idleness, something of our outing. 
I did not care for myself, I w^islied all to know 
about Mary. Sometimes I start talking of the 
many happy hours spent in Europe, growing 
more and more enthusiastic, when a gentle 
"don't" rings its familiar chestnut bell in my ears, 
and I cease. 

Perhaps you wish to hear its music now. Par- 
don me, I am almost run down. I want to mor- 
alize a little, and as the sun comes in at my win- 
dow this bright Sunday afternoon, like an old man 
I am tempted to grow garrulous. As I look back 
upon the days of which I have written, at best a 
brief and imperfect sketch, I think after all life is 
but a journey, the varying conditions into which 

234 



we happen to fall being the different cotintries 
visited. In some we build palaces, in others we 
find ruins, it rests with us individually which it 
shall be. The higher and more complete the 
education, the more it seems to me a man is 
lifted up, the broader his thought, the freer his 
will. I have much to acquire, but I would not 
give back to that oblivion in which I once was, all 
I learned in this little journey, for many days 
of longer life, or a thousand times its cost. 
Travel in foreign lands teaches much of the his- 
tory of one's own nation not learned in books. 
We see the progress of our race as it is going on, 
learning by comparison how man has come up 
from the lower to the higher ; we see the Creeds 
of Christendom attired in their various garbs ; we 
view the progress of principalities and powers, 
comparing Liberty with the rule of Monarchs ; 
we gleam from the rich harvest, everywhere 
strewn about the lands through which we pass, 
that "ours" is not altogether the best, for we find 
among the other grains some fruitage better than 
we gather ourselves ; we learn too by association 
with different peoples that life is given us, not for 
the selfish purpose of our own enjoyment, or re- 
ward here, or hereafter, but to make others hap- 
pier, and that there is a recompense on this earth, 
if no other is expected elsewhere. 

From all we have seen, from the cup of enjoy- 
ment from which we have drunk, we cannot help 

235 



wishing- all might taste the same luscious fruit we 
have eaten. It would correct the mental astig- 
matism, we know some of you have, and focus the 
beams of a brighter light upon your heart, if not 
upon your brain, 

A great part of my enjoyment was due to Mary, 
my wife. Always the Safety- Valve on the Boiler 
of my Enthusiasm, she added what would other- 
wise have been wanting, and to her I owe much. 
Semper fides et fidelis. But I hear her calling-, 
and as I have learned to obey, as well as to honor 
and to love, I must hasten to her. 

To the countries we have visited, to the pleas- 
ures we have enjoyed, and to the reader who has 
followed our "sandal-shoon and scollop shell," 
we say — 

AUF WIEDERSEHEN. 



"^^e|&^ 



PRESS OF 

Webb & Winslow, 
hudson, n. y. 



Brown Brotbers S. Co., 

59 Mall St, mew ^ov\\. 

PHILADELPHIA==BOSTON. 

ALEX. BROWN & SONS, BALTIflORE, 

ALL CONNECTED BY PRIVATE WIRE. 

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ii^nm STATES km royal mkii ^itimEns, 
New York, Queeostowo and Liverpool. 

MAJESTIC, 9965 Tons. TEUTONIC, 9984 Tons. 

OKKMAMIC, .'-OBo Tons. KllITAKXIC, 5004 Tons. 

CYMKIC, 13,553 Tons. ADHIATIC, 3887 Tons. 

One of the above steamers sails from Liverpool and New 
York regularly every Wednesday, calling at Oueenstown 
to receive and land mails and Dr.ssengers. 



iWf^i' 




The "flajestic" and ♦'Teutonk" are twin-screw steamers, 
well know for their unsurpassed accommodations for all classes 
of passengers. The "Cymric," a new twin-screw steamer 6oo 
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upper decks for a limited number of saloon passengers. Owing 
to her great size, the accommodations for Third-class Passen- 
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men and a sitting-room for women. Also ample table room at 
meals. "OCEANIC," now building at Belfast, will be 704 
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For rates, dates of sailing, Saloon or Second Cabin plans, 
apply at the office of the Company, 7 and 9 Broadway, 
Bowling Green Building, or to any of the Company's Agts. 

•-•^COMPANY'S OFFICES-'^- 

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OCT 7 iB9S 




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